breastfed babies result in better behaved children?

[LeeBee]

I have to agree with Kalah here. Also why are people getting offended when BF mums say they would rather their baby have donor BM or a wet nurse than formula? If that is their personal preference; that is their prerogative; although giving donor milk or having a wet nurse seems odd in this society it is preferred in most other societies and even the WHO does advise if possible its better for a BF baby who needs supplements to have expressed milk from their own mum first; then wet nursing/donor milk, then formula if these are not available.

I also hate how the tiny minority of BF mums are blamed for women deciding not to BF from birth; 'oh I read so many militant things from BF mums that I FF from birth' sorry but that is entirely your decision, it takes an extremely weak personality to allow things read online (and it usually is online; I've never really come across these aggressive BFers in real life) to influence major decisions on how to raise your children. It almost seems like these women are not BF to prove some kind of point as to how horrible BFers are; its your child you may be disadvantaged by this at the end of the day. You get hot-headed people with a passion for any topic online I don't take them as representative of an entire group of people.

Hmm... I feel like this was aimed at me, so I'll respond.

I was simply proving a point by my post (which a few people have proven further, thank you). When you get an aggressive BF who states that they are so passionate about BF and want to influence others to do the same, and that person goes about it in the way a lot of woman on here have, then there is an issue there. People are on this forum for support- something a lot of woman don't have in "real life". I don't have other mothers to bounce my ideas and concerns off of- that's why I'm here.

Am I not going to breast feed my child to get back at you? That's laughable. Might a lack of information affect my final decision? It's possible. Because- and I believe I'm quoting a BF here- "lack of information is the number one reason woman don't breastfeed". And I completely agree.

Let me tell you what I'm looking for. When I state that I have concerns about X, I want a nice little BF mommy to come along and say, "hey, I had that concern too. Here's my thoughts. Here's what I did."

Maybe this only makes sense to me And I realize it's a waste of breath (or finger use), but it is so FRUSTRATING!

I can give you advice like that, I'm even little too!

LOL...

You can PM me if you ever want to ask anything, I promise I won't be mean or pushy I went through some of the usual problems like being engorged, trying to figure out a hand pump, trying unsuccessfully to switch to formula (little bug is stubborn to change!), holes in nipples, co-sleeping/quitting co-sleeping!

I think my number once fear is that he won't get enough to eat, and I won't even know (I had an issue last time with this). So I'm stuck wondering which is more important... that he gets breastmilk or that he's getting enough to eat. And I know I could just pump... but I feel like that would take forever! But then I wonder if maybe once I get going on the pumping thing, that it won't take as long?

And I really hate to admit it... but I don't want my boobies to turn into tube socks Is there anything i can do to stop it?!

You would think that being a second time mommy I would know these things... but I feel clueless!

 

[moomin_troll]

its not breastfeeding that "ruins" ur boobs its the hormoans from pregnancy that does that.

so u cant really do much to help it if ur body naturaly changes ur boobs, altho a good supporting bra is a good start

 

[venusrockstar]

I think my number once fear is that he won't get enough to eat, and I won't even know (I had an issue last time with this). So I'm stuck wondering which is more important... that he gets breastmilk or that he's getting enough to eat. And I know I could just pump... but I feel like that would take forever! But then I wonder if maybe once I get going on the pumping thing, that it won't take as long?

And I really hate to admit it... but I don't want my boobies to turn into tube socks Is there anything i can do to stop it?!

You would think that being a second time mommy I would know these things... but I feel clueless!

If you do have supply issues there are things you can try. Eating oatmeal and drinking lots of water helps boost your supply. I had a low supply and didn't know it until my baby was 2 months old. I finally started taking Fenugreek (herbal supplements) and I didn't have any further issues with her feedings. There is also something called Domperidone that can be prescribed to help produce milk.

My boobs are not deflated at all. I'm sure everyone is different though. I went from a B to a D during pregnancy and still am a full D, they are full and not saggy. I have no idea if they deflate once I'm done BF'ing or not though? *LOL* My daughter is 10 1/2 months old now....she went from feeding every 1-3 hours, down to about 4-6 feeds total a day now since starting solids at 6 months.

 

[Kalah]

I have to agree with Kalah here. Also why are people getting offended when BF mums say they would rather their baby have donor BM or a wet nurse than formula? If that is their personal preference; that is their prerogative; although giving donor milk or having a wet nurse seems odd in this society it is preferred in most other societies and even the WHO does advise if possible its better for a BF baby who needs supplements to have expressed milk from their own mum first; then wet nursing/donor milk, then formula if these are not available.

I also hate how the tiny minority of BF mums are blamed for women deciding not to BF from birth; 'oh I read so many militant things from BF mums that I FF from birth' sorry but that is entirely your decision, it takes an extremely weak personality to allow things read online (and it usually is online; I've never really come across these aggressive BFers in real life) to influence major decisions on how to raise your children. It almost seems like these women are not BF to prove some kind of point as to how horrible BFers are; its your child you may be disadvantaged by this at the end of the day. You get hot-headed people with a passion for any topic online I don't take them as representative of an entire group of people.

Hmm... I feel like this was aimed at me, so I'll respond.

I was simply proving a point by my post (which a few people have proven further, thank you). When you get an aggressive BF who states that they are so passionate about BF and want to influence others to do the same, and that person goes about it in the way a lot of woman on here have, then there is an issue there. People are on this forum for support- something a lot of woman don't have in "real life". I don't have other mothers to bounce my ideas and concerns off of- that's why I'm here.

Am I not going to breast feed my child to get back at you? That's laughable. Might a lack of information affect my final decision? It's possible. Because- and I believe I'm quoting a BF here- "lack of information is the number one reason woman don't breastfeed". And I completely agree.

Let me tell you what I'm looking for. When I state that I have concerns about X, I want a nice little BF mommy to come along and say, "hey, I had that concern too. Here's my thoughts. Here's what I did."

Maybe this only makes sense to me And I realize it's a waste of breath (or finger use), but it is so FRUSTRATING!

I can give you advice like that, I'm even little too!

LOL...

You can PM me if you ever want to ask anything, I promise I won't be mean or pushy I went through some of the usual problems like being engorged, trying to figure out a hand pump, trying unsuccessfully to switch to formula (little bug is stubborn to change!), holes in nipples, co-sleeping/quitting co-sleeping!

I think my number once fear is that he won't get enough to eat, and I won't even know (I had an issue last time with this). So I'm stuck wondering which is more important... that he gets breastmilk or that he's getting enough to eat. And I know I could just pump... but I feel like that would take forever! But then I wonder if maybe once I get going on the pumping thing, that it won't take as long?

And I really hate to admit it... but I don't want my boobies to turn into tube socks Is there anything i can do to stop it?!

You would think that being a second time mommy I would know these things... but I feel clueless!

as far as I know it's a myth that breastfeeding makes saggy boobs, that happens from pregnancy because of the ligamints (think that's what it's called) getting loose. I've got the dreaded sock boobs though =( All you can really do it wear good supportive bras. I stopped wearing bras around 20 weeks of pregnancy because they were just too annoying, but I'm paying for that now!

as for not having enough milk, I'd be worried too if that's already been a problem with your first. If it were me I think I would just give it your best try the first couple weeks and try not to stress over it (since the stress will only hinder your milk making) then have baby weighed to know for sure. I had planned on exclusively expressing but that went out the window when I realized expressing is HARD! The times I did manage to get milk out though I only got about an ounce, so that's not a very good indicator of how much milk you're making. It is useful for un-engorging boobs when the milk first comes in though! I don't know if getting breastmilk is more important than getting enough to eat, probably not. I felt like I didn't have any milk left all the time for the first few weeks, I was actually really worried especially when LO would throw up everything she just ate I just cried because I thought I couldn't possibly have any more milk in there and thought she would starve! Sure enough though there was always more in there somehow. Combi-feeding is still an option though. That way baby gets the breast milk benefits and you get the peace of mind knowing baby isn't hungry

 

[LeeBee]

its not breastfeeding that "ruins" ur boobs its the hormoans from pregnancy that does that.

so u cant really do much to help it if ur body naturaly changes ur boobs, altho a good supporting bra is a good start

That's what a few people have said... but I would think that having them fill up with milk and then empty over and over would make it worse?

So far they're holding up pretty good I never go without a bra!

 

[LeeBee]

I think my number once fear is that he won't get enough to eat, and I won't even know (I had an issue last time with this). So I'm stuck wondering which is more important... that he gets breastmilk or that he's getting enough to eat. And I know I could just pump... but I feel like that would take forever! But then I wonder if maybe once I get going on the pumping thing, that it won't take as long?

And I really hate to admit it... but I don't want my boobies to turn into tube socks Is there anything i can do to stop it?!

You would think that being a second time mommy I would know these things... but I feel clueless!

If you do have supply issues there are things you can try. Eating oatmeal and drinking lots of water helps boost your supply. I had a low supply and didn't know it until my baby was 2 months old. I finally started taking Fenugreek (herbal supplements) and I didn't have any further issues with her feedings. There is also something called Domperidone that can be prescribed to help produce milk.

My boobs are not deflated at all. I'm sure everyone is different though. I went from a B to a D during pregnancy and still am a full D, they are full and not saggy. I have no idea if they deflate once I'm done BF'ing or not though? *LOL* My daughter is 10 1/2 months old now....she went from feeding every 1-3 hours, down to about 4-6 feeds total a day now since starting solids at 6 months.

That's really interesting! I'm going to ask my OB about that...

 

[moomin_troll]

its not breastfeeding that "ruins" ur boobs its the hormoans from pregnancy that does that.

so u cant really do much to help it if ur body naturaly changes ur boobs, altho a good supporting bra is a good start

That's what a few people have said... but I would think that having them fill up with milk and then empty over and over would make it worse?

So far they're holding up pretty good I never go without a bra!

before pregnancy with zane i was a E cup so big, then when the milk came in i went up to a huge G cup... i was amazed at their size lol then they went down to a disapointing D cup but even tho smaller then i was used to they still didnt sag n they are still pretty nice hahaha

 

[Kalah]

Oh and I've heard Reglan can increase milk production too, someone from this site used it and it worked, can't remember who though. Reglan is for acid reflux I believe, my mom used to take it.

ETA: Oh and I think my saggy boobs have more to do with going from A to D then back down to a B! I miss those D's...

 

[Cloberella]

Yeah I am a formula feeder and Clobrella here actually isnt telling you it right... I said some of the comments on here make it seem like its poison and that we are harming our children..
Sometimes there can be twisters and this is one of those times

I'm actually quite upset because I wasn't trying to be a 'twister', I obviously misunderstood what you said. I'm sorry.

 

[Blah11]

My boobies have stayed big and full too


Anyway, laura - the poison comment you made did seem to be right after my comment when I said I'd rather get a donor for breastmilk than use formula and tbh, i did find it a bit offensive. I respect your choice to use formula, why can't you accept my choice to use another womans milk instead Kinda shows how strange peoples views are on wet nursing and stuff The UK has a lonnnng way to go!

 

[LeeBee]

So I don't think I would be one to use anothers breastmilk, but I'm curious... how do you even go about that? Do you buy it? Is it expensive? Can you become a breast milk doner? I've not really heard of this before...

 

[Blah11]

unsure tbh. you can buy it for a whopping £100/litre, unsure about wet nurses though. I'm sure the exsist though.

 

[moomin_troll]

So I don't think I would be one to use anothers breastmilk, but I'm curious... how do you even go about that? Do you buy it? Is it expensive? Can you become a breast milk doner? I've not really heard of this before...

a wet nurse actualy feeds the child from her own breast, i think they get paid n they are like a live in nanny (i saw abit about it on tv ages ago)

but yeah u can buy milk off the internet and u can also be a donor

 

[indy and lara]

So I don't think I would be one to use anothers breastmilk, but I'm curious... how do you even go about that? Do you buy it? Is it expensive? Can you become a breast milk doner? I've not really heard of this before...

There are milk exchanges and banks but they are not common. I think that La Leche League can help advise on that.

It would be more likely that you would have someone else who BF your child. Wet nurses were very common in the past and most Upper class ladies would have had a wet nurse who fed their child. These women would completely take over the nursing of a baby and would be paid. Wet nursing is still common in many other cultures and countries. I am sure I read that when there was the contaminated formula situation in China a few years ago the number of wet nurses increased dramatically.

Cross nursing is when someone helps out with BF/ providing BM for your child and does it occasionally. It is most common when someone takes ill. When Salma Hayek BF a child in Sierra Leone I think it would have been classed as cross-nursing.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I just wouldn't want another woman to feed my baby. That is MY time with my baby!

 

[Cloberella]

When Salma Hayek BF a child in Sierra Leone I think it would have been classed as cross-nursing.

I was soo touched when she did that, I thought it was a lovely thing to do.

 

[Laura2919]

My boobies have stayed big and full too


Anyway, laura - the poison comment you made did seem to be right after my comment when I said I'd rather get a donor for breastmilk than use formula and tbh, i did find it a bit offensive. I respect your choice to use formula, why can't you accept my choice to use another womans milk instead Kinda shows how strange peoples views are on wet nursing and stuff The UK has a lonnnng way to go!

I dont think it strange I just dont think its natural for another person to feed my child with their boob. Im sorry that I dont understand it but I wouldnt be comfortable with my baby suckling on anyones boob, if I dont want to breastfeed I certainly dont want to have someone else do it. Maybe thats selfish but once you read what happened to me you might understand why I chose (and I say chose but I really didnt choose anything it had to be that way) formula.

When I had the twins they were born at 29 weeks, the hospital that I was due to have them in couldnt deliver them as their NNU wasnt a level 3 and only delivered babies over 34 weeks, I was transferred and when I had the twins they were taken to NNU, when I woke from my c section one of my girls was 70 miles away from me and my other girl was due to leave.. I didnt see my babies for 5 whole days. I asked for some help in expressing and someone came into my room, put my sterilised pump on her boob (clothes on obviously) and basically said you just do this.. errr thanks, I kinda knew that bit.. Then when I asked for help again I didnt get it until 2am when she woke me from sleeping to show me..
When I finally did get discharged all I wanted to do was see my babies, so my mum brought me an electric breast pump and I also hired one from hospital when I was staying down there. I had a nice supply of milk in the freezer and at 8 days old my girls were brought back, the nurse was so busy gossiping with the paramedic she forgot to pick up ALL of my milk.. I was under so much pressure I gave in, I didnt get much help at all even when they knew I was struggling.. My babies needed feeding and formula was the next option. I dont regret the choices I made. But I would like it if people didnt really say 'id rather someone else feed my baby than give it formula'... I honestly wouldnt.. I just think it could be better put..

 

[indy and lara]

I just wouldn't want another woman to feed my baby. That is MY time with my baby!

It wouldn't be for me either but I can understand why people do it. That said, when Emma was in SCBU I probably would have been happy for her to have expressed milk had she not been able to feed from me.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I may feel different about expressed, but not a long term thing x

 

[Blah11]

Well its not natural for a baby human to drink milk for a baby cow either

& I'm sorry if you don't like it but that's how I feel. I didn't say it to hurt anyones feelings, I really didn't