breastfed babies result in better behaved children?

[crossroads]

You can say what you mean without being rude or condescending. It's not very easy, as emotions always get in the way. But a debate doesn't have to be nasty. How many kids do you see getting nasty in their mock trials at school? Or on debate teams? What really speaks in debates are numbers and statistics. You can easily give those numbers and statistics with tact and grace, I'd imagine.

Where in this thread have I been "nasty"?

It's subjective surely?

By the way, I've been looking for the forum rules but can't find them anywhere Can anyone point me in the right direction?

 

[aragornlover8]

You can say what you mean without being rude or condescending. It's not very easy, as emotions always get in the way. But a debate doesn't have to be nasty. How many kids do you see getting nasty in their mock trials at school? Or on debate teams? What really speaks in debates are numbers and statistics. You can easily give those numbers and statistics with tact and grace, I'd imagine.

Where in this thread have I been "nasty"?

It's subjective surely?

By the way, I've been looking for the forum rules but can't find them anywhere Can anyone point me in the right direction?

I wasn't necessarily saying that *you* had been nasty; I was just illustrating a point about debating in general. I think some of your tactics have been bordering on bullying in some cases, as other ladies have said. I understand that you are passionate about what you're trying to say, and I do applaud you for your success in breastfeeding, but to suggest that other women are failures for not achieving the same success isn't very tactful.

I had to kind of dig around for the rules myself, but here is the link - https://www.babyandbump.com/announcement.php?f=17 . It's posted as an announcement in the Welcome section.

 

[Blah11]

first rule..

When using BabyandBump, be polite, do not break the law, and do not use The Web Site for self-publicity or advertising.


can you honestly say you're always polite crossroads

 

[Blah11]

Rudeness, flaming or trolling is not tolerated on, or about, BabyandBump or its members. Any member who is intentionally disruptive may have their account restricted or banned without warning.
Antisocial, discriminatory or offensive messages (intended or otherwise) aimed at the community at large, certain demographics (including parenting styles) or specific members, are not permitted.


these too!

 

[LeeBee]

I have major respect for anyone who can give birth without pain relief. By the time I got to the hospital I was begging for an epidural.

Then they told me to go walk the halls for a bit. Which I did for about 30 seconds, before sending my husband back to the nurses station to "find me drugs"

 

[moomin_troll]

I have major respect for anyone who can give birth without pain relief. By the time I got to the hospital I was begging for an epidural.

Then they told me to go walk the halls for a bit. Which I did for about 30 seconds, before sending my husband back to the nurses station to "find me drugs"

hahahaha
during my labour my mum kept looking at me saying "do u want a epidural yet?" hahaha shes very pro drugs for labour purposes hahaha

 

[crossroads]

I find it sad the amount of PMs I have received from active members of this thread saying things such as:

"I agree with what you said on that debate thread, about tip-toeing hindering a debate. Unfortunately on this forum it's either tip-toe or get flamed "

Several people have PMed messages like this to me. But they didn't feel able to post their thoughts on this thread.

So "I'm" the bully here? Or are the bullies the people preventing these members from saying what they think?

Here's another:

"I just want to yell at them and tell them all stop whining about not being 'able' to do it because they didn't care enough about the extreme benefits of breastmilk to stick it out and decided to take the easy way out, now they have to deal with the consequence of feeling bad!"

So it would appear that I'm far from alone with my opinions. The only difference is I'm confident enough to express them. I don't care about being "flamed" by everyone, called a bully, etc.

It's very sad that not every member feels they can't participate and speak their thoughts.

This debate forum is pointless.

 

[moomin_troll]

well who ever that person was who wrote that to u is just as rude. unless u no the facts about people who "just give up" then its not ur place to judge or say they took the easy way out.

 

[buttonnose82]

I find it sad the amount of PMs I have received from active members of this thread saying things such as:

"I agree with what you said on that debate thread, about tip-toeing hindering a debate. Unfortunately on this forum it's either tip-toe or get flamed "

Several people have PMed messages like this to me. But they didn't feel able to post their thoughts on this thread.

So "I'm" the bully here? Or are the bullies the people preventing these members from saying what they think?

Here's another:

"I just want to yell at them and tell them all stop whining about not being 'able' to do it because they didn't care enough about the extreme benefits of breastmilk to stick it out and decided to take the easy way out, now they have to deal with the consequence of feeling bad!"

So it would appear that I'm far from alone with my opinions. The only difference is I'm confident enough to express them. I don't care about being "flamed" by everyone, called a bully, etc.

It's very sad that not every member feels they can't participate and speak their thoughts.

This debate forum is pointless.

Please keep private messages out of this debate, if other members wish too express their views they are more than entitled too do it themselves, not via a 3rd party

Thank you

 

[LeeBee]

 

[bathbabe]

I find it sad the amount of PMs I have received from active members of this thread saying things such as:

"I agree with what you said on that debate thread, about tip-toeing hindering a debate. Unfortunately on this forum it's either tip-toe or get flamed "

Several people have PMed messages like this to me. But they didn't feel able to post their thoughts on this thread.

So "I'm" the bully here? Or are the bullies the people preventing these members from saying what they think?

Here's another:

"I just want to yell at them and tell them all stop whining about not being 'able' to do it because they didn't care enough about the extreme benefits of breastmilk to stick it out and decided to take the easy way out, now they have to deal with the consequence of feeling bad!"

So it would appear that I'm far from alone with my opinions. The only difference is I'm confident enough to express them. I don't care about being "flamed" by everyone, called a bully, etc.

It's very sad that not every member feels they can't participate and speak their thoughts.

This debate forum is pointless.

Then maybe they should grow some balls and show us their true colours

 

[Vickie]

Forum rules and TOS:

https://www.babyandbump.com/announcement.php?f=239

they can be found at the top of all of the forums

As for the private messages yes you have received some, from two people by my count, in regards to this thread (and no we don't EVER look at PM's except when you throw out there something like that it IS investigated). I don't think that counts as several

Rudeness is a perception yes but when you have many people telling you the same thing maybe it's time to reevaluate the way you are coming across?

Let's get this thread back on topic and stop arguing over who is being rude and why etc. etc.

 

[Vickie]

posts from here on out arguing about who's right/who's wrong/who's rude/who's not will be removed. If the topic doesn't get back on track it will be closed entirely.

(I've already removed one.)

It's a great topic that has sparked an interesting debate but let's not keep stooping down to a personal level.

 

[indy and lara]

I don't agree with how Crossroads is going about making her point but I really am not sure about the use of the word 'bullying' . I think that the word bullying is used so often now that the impact of how awful actual, systematic bullying is, is often overlooked. By using the term so much I do think we are lessening the impact of someone saying they are bullied. I would also suggest that while Crossroads has been quite tactless, she has herself had her character attacked by many other posters too so it has not all been one way traffic.

Not looking for an argument- just want to put that thought out there. Anyway, let's not get this locked...for once.

 

[Laura2919]

A debate for natural vs epidural will more than likely not get very far.

I wanted a natural birth, I was told as soon as I was 4cm dilated I would have (yes, have) to have an epidural as I was delivering twins and they wanted to be prepared for theatre... I ended up with a emergency c section under general anaesthetic..

I didnt get to make the choice on my delivery, not everyone does so there isnt much of a debate.. Some people may not want an epi but have to have one... It would just get all messy and defensive, like this one has.

 

[LeeBee]

A debate for natural vs epidural will more than likely not get very far.

I wanted a natural birth, I was told as soon as I was 4cm dilated I would have (yes, have) to have an epidural as I was delivering twins and they wanted to be prepared for theatre... I ended up with a emergency c section under general anaesthetic..

I didnt get to make the choice on my delivery, not everyone does so there isnt much of a debate.. Some people may not want an epi but have to have one... It would just get all messy and defensive, like this one has.

What does "prepared for theatre" mean? I had no idea they could make you get an epi!

 

[Laura2919]

A debate for natural vs epidural will more than likely not get very far.

I wanted a natural birth, I was told as soon as I was 4cm dilated I would have (yes, have) to have an epidural as I was delivering twins and they wanted to be prepared for theatre... I ended up with a emergency c section under general anaesthetic..

I didnt get to make the choice on my delivery, not everyone does so there isnt much of a debate.. Some people may not want an epi but have to have one... It would just get all messy and defensive, like this one has.

What does "prepared for theatre" mean? I had no idea they could make you get an epi!

Neither did I until I was having my girls.. I never got to have an epi as I stayed at 3cm all the way until I had them lol..
It just means that they would be ready for the delivery if there was a complication. In my case there was so I had to be put to sleep. I was in intensive care after I had the twins and they were in NNU.

 

[Vickie]

I don't agree with how Crossroads is going about making her point but I really am not sure about the use of the word 'bullying' . I think that the word bullying is used so often now that the impact of how awful actual, systematic bullying is, is often overlooked. By using the term so much I do think we are lessening the impact of someone saying they are bullied. I would also suggest that while Crossroads has been quite tactless, she has herself had her character attacked by many other posters too so it has not all been one way traffic.

Not looking for an argument- just want to put that thought out there. Anyway, let's not get this locked...for once.

Yet more posts have been removed. The only reason I'm letting this one stand is that I do agree with the sentiment involved and it most certainly has not been just a one way street in regards to the arguing. That doesn't mean that I will let this descend into more of a debate of who is right/who is wrong/who is rude/who is not. That's been done enough in this thread and more than one person (based on the sheer number of reports we've gotten on this thread alone recently) has had their feelings hurt.

This is the last time I will ask that the thread be kept on track.

 

[indy and lara]

I don't agree with how Crossroads is going about making her point but I really am not sure about the use of the word 'bullying' . I think that the word bullying is used so often now that the impact of how awful actual, systematic bullying is, is often overlooked. By using the term so much I do think we are lessening the impact of someone saying they are bullied. I would also suggest that while Crossroads has been quite tactless, she has herself had her character attacked by many other posters too so it has not all been one way traffic.

Not looking for an argument- just want to put that thought out there. Anyway, let's not get this locked...for once.

Yet more posts have been removed. The only reason I'm letting this one stand is that I do agree with the sentiment involved and it most certainly has not been just a one way street in regards to the arguing. That doesn't mean that I will let this descend into more of a debate of who is right/who is wrong/who is rude/who is not. That's been done enough in this thread and more than one person (based on the sheer number of reports we've gotten on this thread alone recently) has had their feelings hurt.

This is the last time I will ask that the thread be kept on track.

Sorry I didn't want to make it worse, just to try to smooth the waters.

 

[Blah11]

nevermind, sorry vicki!