Breastfeeding - How to deal with negative reactions in public

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by Palestrina, Mar 29, 2011.

  1. Palestrina

    Palestrina Well-Known Member

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    Some posts on another thread about breast feeding got me thinking about the negative reactions mothers get when they nurse their babies in public. Many times I have been out in public with people and when they see a woman nursing her child they make negative comments like "oh god like I really want to see that?" or "why doesn't she just go into the bathroom?" or "oh my god she's not even covering up." Other women on this board have also experienced negative comments said right to them, or been given helpful suggestions to "move to a more private area."

    I plan on BF (god help me), and I want to make sure that I will have the courage to do it even when I am in public. How do you handle situations where other people are uncomfortable about your BF? What do you say, how do you respond?
     
  2. special_kala

    special_kala love my bugs

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    Smile nod and if they carry on tell them to mind their own fricking buisness
     
  3. special_kala

    special_kala love my bugs

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    If someone is staring at you in a horrible way just shout across "can you please stop trying to look at my breasts please!!!"
     
  4. KatieMRi

    KatieMRi Well-Known Member

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    Ahha, I LOVE this. Ignore people like that, tho they may not know they're doing it. I have never seen it done in public but if I was to I would think nothing of it, some people tho. Make sure you stand up for yourself x
     
  5. ClaireMuir123

    ClaireMuir123 Mummy to Jayden and Ava

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    Luckily in the UK there are laws to protect breastfeeding women, but if there isn't where you are I would just ignore them. If someone asks you to go somewhere else tell them to feck off, it's none of their business. What bugs me though is they'd never say it to a girl who had a short cut top on and her boobs were hanging out! xxx
     
  6. special_kala

    special_kala love my bugs

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    "thats disgusting" - "SO IS YOUR FACE!"

    "cant you do that somewhere more private" - "Cant you just stop looking?"

    "You should do that in the toilet" - "Your more then welcome to eat your lunch in the toilet but my child isnt going to"

    "thats not natural" - I think this one deserves no words just laughter
     
  7. Barbles

    Barbles Mum to 1 & cooking 1 more

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    That one is my favourite :haha: I would just tell them to bugger off too and if they complained to someone, God help them they would get the full wrath then.
     
  8. kermie219

    kermie219 Well-Known Member

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    For the most part I think people are ok with it.....I think there was only once that someone said something to me. I remember it being a huge deal to me at the time but to be honest I can't even remember what was said now. If someone told me to feed her in the bathroom I would ask them, would you eat in the bathroom? f*** OFF!

    screw what people think......you're feeding your baby. It's not your fault they have oversexualised the female form! I truly think if it's acceptable to feed a baby a bottle in public it's acceptable to breastfeed:)
     
  9. Lawhra

    Lawhra NowProudMumOfTwo!!

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    Ignore them if you can. But if not the above comment about looking at your breasts is a funny suggestion.
    EDIT: Just saw the post about eating lunch in the bathroom, brilliant!
    I fully intend to BF and will do so in public if need be. I will of course do it discreetly but if anyone has a problem they can shove it up their arse, I'm not interested in their childish opinions. It is one the of the most natural things in the world. If someone had their breast hanging out even I may be offended, but discreet feeding is not offensive.
     
  10. kellybeeb

    kellybeeb Married Squishy due Sept

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    I've decided on something along the lines of "so your mother didn't leave the house until you were on solids?" or "I'm sorry I want the best for my child"

    The go to the bath room comment really angers me and when ever i'm out with breast feeding women and someone says that i always say would you eat in the bathroom.
     
  11. pinkpolkadot

    pinkpolkadot Well-Known Member

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    :rofl:

    I was chatting about this with DH the other day as I know people are very opinionated about this so there will defo be comments made when feeding in public. But you hardly ever see it in public, do most BF mums stay in or only go out between feeds?

    I was also thinking about when we have visitors round will I go into another room or stay with them. I heard MIL saying she went to see a family members baby not long ago and she was annoyed that mum and baby disappeared for 1/2 hour to feed, but then on the other hand I know some people would be embarassed if you fed in front of them so you just can't win!

    I guess you've just got to do what you think and not give a stuff at the end of the day :haha:
     
  12. Pixie2320

    Pixie2320 Well-Known Member

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    Honestly I'm the type of person that would just look back at someone and stare them in the face until they look away / walk away.. But I'm kind of a bit** like that..

    That being said, I have nothing against breast feeding, I fully intend to breast feed my baby, and while I understand the disgust of the idea of being told to do it in the bathroom, NO THANKS, and the hassle of going back out to the car to do it, I do not understand for the life of me the problem with covering your girls up if you're going to sit in public and pop them out.

    They make cover ups specifically for this, it's not like your baby is going to suffocate being under a cover up or blankey while eating , we don't think twice about putting a blanket over the carseat when its windy or sunny out so please don't give me the " Put a blanket over YOUR head" wonk wonk wonk..

    Yes breastfeeding is natural, breasts are natural, but that doesn't mean you can't cover em up while you're feeding. I think one of the tackiest things I've ever seen in my life, I was walking through Target making a registry and there was a mock nursery set up on a PLATFORM in the middle, and this woman had climbed up on display (literally) and was breastfeeding using the rocking chair. I'm sorry but if the baby is hungry and needs fed I understand it needs fed, but 1- you don't need to literally put yourself on display, and 2- you could at least toss a blanket across your shoulder..

    Anyway, that's just my two cents... :shrug:
     
  13. LadyHutch

    LadyHutch HutchMom

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    A simple "What the Fuck are you looking at?" has worked in the past for me.
     
  14. Lawhra

    Lawhra NowProudMumOfTwo!!

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    Feeding discreetly is completely doable. At Christmas we went to stay with OH's brother. His wife was cuddling their 8 week old baby and without me even noticing whilst talking directly to her fed her. I'd no idea! Clever lady :D I hope to be the same.
     
  15. special_kala

    special_kala love my bugs

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    I dont think BF is as common as it should be in the UK so you dont see it much. Also alot of the time a mother is feeding a baby and you dont even realise.

    I will feed infront of whoever but for the oldies ill probably used a muslin over my shoulder as im very large chested so cant help but show alot of boob.

    Though im sure they will have seen more of my boob from me wearing vests and running round after river and bending over
     
  16. ClaireMuir123

    ClaireMuir123 Mummy to Jayden and Ava

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    :rofl: Love it! I personally plan on doing it discreetly (obviously lol) but I have HUGE bazookas so I may need to cover with a blanket. x
     
  17. mafiamom

    mafiamom Well-Known Member

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    one of the best things i have ever purchased is a nursing tank. you wear it under your shirt so when you lift your shirt up you still have a shirt underneath and literally NOTHING shows. the tank has a slit just side enough for some breast to come thru so you dont even see a bit of that. best things i ever bought.

    this really helped me regarding the weird looks and comments as it just looked like she was nestled against me sleeping.

    best thing you can do is ignore that crap. it is sad that breasts are seen as sexual objects only, rather then the natural way of nourishing a child.

    my Gosh!!! we have babies out of our VAGINA'S!!!! you dont see people saying, OMG you let your baby come out of THAT????? geesh. yes, there are actually some body parts that have more then one reason for existing LOL :)
     
  18. ClaireMuir123

    ClaireMuir123 Mummy to Jayden and Ava

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    I should just point out, this is not to make anyone else feel more comfortable, it's for me x
     
  19. midori1999

    midori1999 Well-Known Member

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    I have seen loads of women breastfeeding in cafes etc, although probably noticed it more since I was pregnant. I have never seen anyone say anything to them or noticed anyone really staring. (except me probably... :blush: ) Plus, most of my family have breastfed at length, including in public and not had anyone say anything to them. I don't think it's as common as people expect.

    I'm personally not bothered by it. People stare for all sorts of reasons, the colour of someone's skin, what outfit they are wearing, their hair colour. I have a burn scar on my leg and if anyone asked why I didn't cover it up in public I'd just tell them they could look away if they didn't like it. Same applies to breastfeeding, no-one is forcing them to look.
     
  20. LittleSpy

    LittleSpy Well-Known Member

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    I have this problem where I try to be as considerate of others as possible so I'll either be fully covering up while breastfeeding or feeding breast milk from a bottle while in public. I don't see why someone would bother saying something negative about me doing any of those things but if they did, I'd probably just laugh at them.

    I'm certainly not going to just whip out a tit & start feeding like I've seen women do. If you do that, I feel like you're being very inconsiderate of others & the negative reactions should be expected. I don't think it's too much to ask for a breastfeeding mother to consider how other people feel while she's in public places. :shrug: Lack of consideration for others is a social problem.
     

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