Breastfeeding thoughts and feeling bad for them...

[IsabellaJayne]

Is it only me that think breastfeeding sounds completely terrible and a horrible experience? I hear lots of people talk about how incredible it is and I just think how?! Obviously the bond and the closeness I understand but when I hear of cracked and bleeding nipples, mastitis, cluster feeding, feeding in public, the only person available to feed, leaking everywhere, engorgement and just pure exhaustion it actually depresses me and makes me miserable and she isn't even here yet.

With my first DD, she wouldn't latch at all, I had midwives try for hours on end and then breastfeeding experts and nothing would work. I exclusively pumped for 2 weeks before becoming flat out exhausted (and baby losing weight down to 5lbs) that I supplemented with formula and then eventually after 5 weeks formula fed. So I never experienced the 'horrors' of breastfeeding.

This time I decided to FF from the start but after hearing of many women say how special breastfeeding is, I'm sort of feeling terrible about my pre-empt decision and wondering whether to give it a go. Then I think of all the terrible things above and feel like I couldn't possibly put myself through all of that. I know breast is best and I applaud all women who do it for such a long time because to me, it seems like hell

Does anyone else feel the same?

ETA- this is no way a post bashing breastfeeding mothers, I actually applaud you. I don't know how ou do it, it's amazing!

 

[lewood88]

I wanted to breastfeed both my girls but they just wouldn't latch and I felt that the midwives made me feel like a failure if I gave up and ff in the end I did give up and ff.

The way I see it yes breast is best and its free but if you don't feel comfortable and you don't like the experience then don't force yourself to do it hun because of what others say x

 

[jlw617]

I tried to bf my girls, I didn't ge very far with either of them but you know what? I'm going to try again because I know breast is best but if I can't do it, I can't do it. For me it comes down to what is best for my baby as well as decreasing my risks for cratin types of cancers, one of them being breast cancer as my grandmother died of it in her 50s also I know some people are weird about it but I also plan on giving some to my older children, not by breastfeeding but pumping and putting it in smoothies and what not, the immunity properties breast milk has is absolutely amazing. Don't beat yourself up no matter what you decide though and also if you do give it a go but have to stop early just remember some breast milk is better than none

 

[SweetV]

Right here!
My DS wouldn't latch and I pumped for a few months before gradually switching to formula.

I absolutely agree with all you have said, cracked nipples, cluster feeds with no help etc. My DH loved being able to help me out and many nights would tell me to go back to bed and get up and feed DS. It was great bonding for them and it allowed me a little freedom and sleep.

I am going to pump again for this LO. I am torn between trying to bf at the beginning and then switching to bottle or going straight to bottle.

 

[klsltsp]

I hear ya.

With my first I felt all of the pressure to bf, no one could get him to latch properly... finally at 3 weeks old we were able to get him latched but my milk just was never enough. We supplemented from the start. I pumped and fed for a few months but it's exhausting!!! so with my second, I told OH that I wanted to try to bf, but that I wasn't going to kill myself, no pumping and feeding, and if it doesn't work then it doesn't work... no trying to force it! Well I don't know if because of this attitude I was much more relaxed or what, but let me tell you my second was a breeze! I most definitely think my relaxed attitude about it helped.

So this time it will be the same, I want to bf, but if for what ever reason I can't, then that's okay!

Good luck!

Kim

 

[Rainstorm]

I guess whatever choice you make is made out of love, and if breastfeeding is a stressfull option then it's no good for lo. As for the horrible things, in my own experience they lasted no longer than a week, except for breastfeeding in public which in my case and where I live is no big deal, no one cares or even pays attention so it's not an issue.
I say give it a try, and be ready to embrace the fact that it might not work for you, and it's ok if it doesn't.

 

[IsabellaJayne]

Thanks for all your replies. Forgot to say I'm definitely going to be giving her breast milk for at least the first two weeks, especially the colostrum even if I have to pump like I did last time. Just not sure if I feel strong enough to carry on exclusively.

Maybe I should put all the scary negatives aside and give it another go. I'm not sure if this would have made it worse but I had an EMCS under general last time and was disorientated for days so maybe a different experience this time may make it easier.

The thought just traumatises me to be honest.

 

[klsltsp]

You know my first was an EMCS, not under general but I always wondered if that factored in... my second was a planned cs, I told the nurses that I struggled the last time and that I wanted some help as soon as possible to bf. The had him on me in the recovery room!! it was amazing.

 

[IsabellaJayne]

I'm glad to hear of positive feeding experiences after struggling the first time. Gives me hope

 

[IsabellaJayne]

You know my first was an EMCS, not under general but I always wondered if that factored in... my second was a planned cs, I told the nurses that I struggled the last time and that I wanted some help as soon as possible to bf. The had him on me in the recovery room!! it was amazing.

Im so glad you had a better experience the second time. I'm hoping to have a VBAC and hope that will allow me to establish feeding straight away if I decide to breastfeed over pumping rather than trying 12 hours later

 

[klsltsp]

Good luck on your VBAC, if you end up not being able to and do need another section, talk to the nurses, you shouldn't have to wait 12 hours I was really surprised how quickly they were able to get him on me.

 

[skyesmom]

hey hey, no direct bf experience for me yet, but my mom had a hell of an experience with me as i couldn't latch, and she pumped and all that, but with my sister she said it was absolutely amazing and that she never thought it could feel that good and go that smooth. each baby is different as well!

 

[IsabellaJayne]

Thanks ladies. Feeling better hearing some second time good experiences. Hopefully I'll be one too

 

[mummytobe_93]

Thanks ladies. Feeling better hearing some second time good experiences. Hopefully I'll be one too

I completely understand what you're saying in your post but I do think it's a case of people broadcasting the bad and not telling you about the good things.
Honestly I breastfeed for 3 reasons, it's good for my baby, it's cheap and I'm lazy. At night when he cries I just whip a boob out! No bottles, no sterilisers no formula!
First few weeks can be difficult with cluster feeding but it dies down and it's easy. I've never had mastitis with either of my kids or cracked nipples or pain at all!

I understand why women don't do it but at the same time I understand why women choose to. There's nothing like the bond and also watching your baby grow because of your milk and them needing and depending on you!
Definitely don't do it if you really don't want to though you just trial it and if it's not working out call it a day! Xx

 

[Willow82]

I totally relate to this. I had a terrible experience with my son. He wouldn't latch, my milk never came in and I started expressing around the clock as a result. It wasn't enough, I only managed to get enough for a bottle a day. I then ended up getting mastitis twice and went to 100% formula feeding after 3 months. I felt like a total failure.

I want to try again but I am dreading it. I'm dreading it not work again and feeling like an even bigger failure and I'm dreading it working as I am fearful about mastitis, engorgement, pain etc. I'm also fearful about my fear and dread making it even more difficult. I will try try though and see how far I get.

 

[LilianA]

I had a terrible experience with my first!! I had no clue it would hurt so i was in for a shock when my nipples cracked and bled and was in tears everytime he latched on so i pumped for 4 months then stopped..with my second i was determined to succeed and went in knowing it would hurt at first so prepared with creams and nipple shields and in a few weeks the pain disappeared and went on to breast feed for a year with no problems and it was amazing!! Same with #3 and now hopefully

 

[MyFavSurprise]

I had an awful time with my first son as well, they instantly put a nipple shield on me when I had trouble latching and I hated that thing..it made breastfeeding more of a chore, I'd have to make sure I always had a clean one and then my son would flail his arms and knock it off my nipple..and my supply went down, I tried to pump but I'd get about 2oz in 2 hours and then nothing, it was horrible and painful and not only was I miserable, he was frustrated and he wasn't gaining weight...so we switched to formula and we were both happy... that being said, I do want to try again this time, I love this post..it definitely gives me hope for this time.. I also didn't know that breast shield size had an impact on pain and supply, but I got the right size this time : )

 

[Jessicahide]

Don't feel terrible, its your choice.... there are many options though, ff or buy a pump.

 

[LockandKey]

there's no harm in trying, but if it's not for you, then it's not for you. What you decide to do and how you raise your children is really no one's business but your own

 

[minties]

I liken it to sex. It's not usually that much fun the first few times, and sometimes even hurts. But it gets better and becomes pleasurable.

Obviously breastfeeding isn't satisfying in a sexual manner, but it did feel physically satisfying and even a great pleasure for me. Like sinking into a hot bath...an "aaahhhhh" sort of thing. It's quite fun really!