"Bringing up Bebe" <- finally, a worthwhile read!

[oh_so_blessed]

In the torment of being worried about getting through the first trimester with a healthy fetus I have been reading many sources of information that have freaked me out entirely. I've been progesterone checked and have my 2nd beta hcg check later this week. I worry all the time about temporary symptom loss... is this it?

I tried looking for more healthy reading materials than the First Trimester forum, which is an excellent place to become scared to death I found the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy, but found it not too helpful, really just grazes over topics and makes you go, "hey, I should probably find out more about that".

Then I picked up **Bringing up Bebe** at the bookstore this evening. It presented some info: French parents are happier, French babies sleep through the night, aren't picky eaters, don't throw food... and then it sought to find out WHY?! I have to say, I'm only on page 48, but I'm already very happy to have some solid information. This is the first thing I've read in the last two weeks that has calmed me down.

 

[Heather M]

I heard the author talking about this on the radio the other day and it sounded like it would be a good read! Almost went out and picked up a copy myself!

 

[aliss]

There are pro's and con's to the French way.

You wouldn't believe how acceptable it is to be allowed to smoke and drink in pregnancy (and by drink, I mean more than a glass at Christmas!).

The immense pressure to get back to pre-baby thin, ugh!

The encouragement of cry-it-out instead of feeding babies in the night as they need it!

BUT

I definitely agree with the eating. Our bébés () sure do devour a lot of cheese with the family, LOL! My boy can eat cheeses that most English babies would vomit.

 

[SpringerS]

What all of the books and articles that tell us about how easy French pregnancies are with relation to diet leave out is that Toxoplasmosis infections in pregnancy and newborns is higher in France than in most of the Western world.

 

[aliss]

Fetal alcohol rates are also higher than most western countries too. People still think I'm crazy for not having at least one "glass" (6oz ain't a glass) of wine per night at 3 months pg.

 

[oh_so_blessed]

As with any book, take the good, leave what you don't like. I think the advice to wait a few minutes to see if the baby is in a sleep cycle or really needs attention seems sound. It clearly works. But, hey, if you want to get up every 2 hours for year 1 then go for it! obviously you shouldn't discount a whole book because toxoplasmosis is higher there- you can decide not to eat sushi, just like you can decide not to sit around smoking people. No one book will have it all, but this one has some pretty sound advice between its binding and it's worth a read if you can keep an open mind and not shut it out and assume your way is better in all respects.

Best of luck!

 

[aliss]

As with any book, take the good, leave what you don't like. I think the advice to wait a few minutes to see if the baby is in a sleep cycle or really needs attention seems sound. It clearly works. But, hey, if you want to get up every 2 hours for year 1 then go for it!

It's funny you speak of an open mind as if attending to a baby's cries instantly will lead to 2-hourly night waking for a year or more?? There is a difference between a baby fussing between cycles and leaving too-young babies to cry it out, cry-it-out being a very popular "french" technique (I hate to say French because it's popular everywhere).

I don't know, I'm sure there is great information, but on the other hand I think a lot of writers seem to idolize the "French way" as if it was some sort of mythical land of slim women like Coco Chanel with perfect brie-eating sleeping babies... my French baby is really no different than any other, no matter how much of these special techniques are used, they are unique with unique personalities.

 

[oh_so_blessed]

As with any book, take the good, leave what you don't like. I think the advice to wait a few minutes to see if the baby is in a sleep cycle or really needs attention seems sound. It clearly works. But, hey, if you want to get up every 2 hours for year 1 then go for it!

It's funny you speak of an open mind as if attending to a baby's cries instantly will lead to 2-hourly night waking for a year or more?? There is a difference between a baby fussing between cycles and leaving too-young babies to cry it out, cry-it-out being a very popular "french" technique (I hate to say French because it's popular everywhere).

I don't know, I'm sure there is great information, but on the other hand I think a lot of writers seem to idolize the "French way" as if it was some sort of mythical land of slim women like Coco Chanel with perfect brie-eating sleeping babies... my French baby is really no different than any other, no matter how much of these special techniques are used, they are unique with unique personalities.

In the book they basically say that starting at 2 months they wait a minute when the baby cries to see if it goes back to sleep. This doesn't seem too harsh, really. I think you are discounting good info because you're upset that people idolize the French. Bash the book all you want, but until you read it your words fall on deaf ears. I suggest you read it, so that at least when you bash it you know what it is you're actually bashing.

 

[aliss]

The only 'bashing' I have done is your own personal comment about babies waking every 2 hours for a year because... what? If we don't follow this book's methods, we'll have a baby who can't sleep??

I'm not bashing your book, that's just a general comment on how people seem to perceive French culture. It's nothing unique, there are diet books and fashion books in the same manner. I don't need to read a book to know how to raise my child in the "French way" -I have already done it. Je peux parler avec mes amis, ma belle-mère, mon beau-père, mon mari, mes voisins....

If it works for you, great. Like I said in my original posts, there are pros and cons to the methods. My only cringe was at the sleeping comment you made, and that probably had nothing to do with the book itself!

 

[Xanthe]

Sorry - but I have to laugh at this. I spent some of my childhood in France and my elder sister still lives out there with her own family now.

Please regard this book as a money spinning venture with outrageous stereotyping of the French. Children are children the world over. Some are crap sleepers. Some are fussy eaters.

I mentioned this book to my sister and she can't believe that the author has got away with it. In her own words she says half the kids in my nephews school are, " Spoilt little s***s". " .

A sentiment i'm sure you'll hear repeated by Mums the world over regardless of their culture, whether they let their child cry it out as a baby, or ingested brie whilst a foetus.

 

[aliss]

I have since read the google preview and can see numerous exaggerations/romanticisms... je ne l'aime pas, désolé. Flattered, but I suppose it could be an equivalent of me writing a book claiming all American women live in Dallas mansions, run the PTA on top of their medical practice, and are all blonde former cheerleaders. Sounds nice and elegant but not really the truth If you love the book then that's fine but I don't know any French moms here who could agree with it.

 

[oh_so_blessed]

You guys are truly hilarious. You don't have to read it, and it isn't "my book"... but, it has some useful info for people who have perhaps not already raised a child (me!). The author hasn't "gotten away with" anything. I picked up some info I think is useful, otherwise I wouldn't have posted here to begin with.

p.s. speaking French to prove that you have nothing to gain from a text is pretty, well, nah, I'm not gonna say it. And I'm certainly not going to sink to this level and say it in French. I can tell you that I've studied years of French and find that it hasn't helped me read the book. lol!

Best of luck to you all.

 

[aliss]

Look, if you want to believe in the book and it's concepts go ahead, it's your choice and there's nothing wrong with it!

I'm just saying that it's got a lot of exaggerations and romanticisms. It's a very typical theme in books published for an American audience. French food, french fashion, french style, french way of raising kids... based heavily on a wealthy urban Parisian stereotype with little basis in reality.

I'm just saying that those of us who are actually raising babies in Francophone places ind it rather strange how so much of the culture is stereotyped and romanticized for an American audience. That's ALL I'm really saying here. Surely you would find it rather odd if a French woman published a book about how wealthy American women in Manhattan raised babies, and it sounded like the same way some poor woman on section 8 in Kentucky was doing it too???

 

[oh_so_blessed]

Look, if you want to believe in the book and it's concepts go ahead, it's your choice and there's nothing wrong with it!

I'm just saying that it's got a lot of exaggerations and romanticisms. It's a very typical theme in books published for an American audience. French food, french fashion, french style, french way of raising kids... based heavily on a wealthy urban Parisian stereotype with little basis in reality.

I'm just saying that those of us who are actually raising babies in Francophone places ind it rather strange how so much of the culture is stereotyped and romanticized for an American audience. That's ALL I'm really saying here. Surely you would find it rather odd if a French woman published a book about how wealthy American women in Manhattan raised babies, and it sounded like the same way some poor woman on section 8 in Kentucky was doing it too???

As to the tone of the book, I will say that it could have taken up about 1/4 of the space, probably another 1/4 is romanticism and 1/2 is the the author's extremely wordy style or her editor's demand to fill the pages. But, even so, there has been some good info in there. I am only half through it, but I think it's nice to have a second culture to compare to- more things to feel comfortable with trying. You're already living in a Francophone culture, so it is not likely that this book would be targeting you.

Let's move on. I will probably not bother to post any books up on here again because I feel like it's been received rather combatively. Not you particularly, but it seems that the general population here is ready to discount the book because the French drink wine or eat pate during pregnancy. It seems obvious to me that just because you're reading about the way a culture does things, you don't need to adopt everything they do. You should do what makes sense to you and change things as needed. Obviously I'm not drinking, smoking and eating sushi. I just think it has some good ideas that one might like to try. fwiw, the book does not condone drinking, smoking or letting the baby cry for hours.

All the best,

 

[SpringerS]

Why are you getting so upset OP? If a book is written on a partially false premise and some people know the premise is false they aren't out of line or 'hilarious' to point that out. Xanthe lived in France, her sister still does and is a parent there. Aliss lives in a very French culture. They have real life experience of what is written in the book and because of that see it as a romantic exaggeration.

Babies are babies. I slept through the night from my 3rd night at home, so did both my brothers. The 3 of us were 100% out of nappies by 54 weeks. We all ate varied diets from late infanthood and could walk at 10, 9 and 11 months respectively. My mother never put on an extra ounce of weight on any of her pregnancies and we were all happy relaxed children. But I'm not going to write a book about the awesome way we do it in Ireland because what happens in a small few (lucky) families isn't indicative of the culture.

If you've found some good tips in the book then that's brilliant but don't be surprised if people who live in the culture being idealised point that out. It doesn't mean the tips are wrong, just that the author is romanticising where they come from in order to sell more books.