Bringing up the subject

[CallumsMommy]

Hi Everyone,

Im new here and after some advice.

Me and my partner have been together for 15 months and have lived together 4 months im 21 and he is 29.

I feel now that I am ready for us to try for a baby as I my son was still born when i was 18 (his dad isnt the partner im with now) and it has taken me 3 years to be able to feel mentally ready. However I feel unsure of how to broach the subject with my partner as I have no clues as to how he feels about this subject.

He is always cooing over babies as family/friends all have little ones and whenever they come over he tells me how he cant wait until we have them.

If any of you could offer some advice on how to bring it up as i dont want him to feel that I am pressurising him!

thanks for any help

xxx

 

[booflebump]

Read my journal hun! I didnt know how to bring it up either, but instead of a big sit down serious chat, it just happened naturally. Take any opportunity you get to open the conversation and see how it progresses from there.

Sorry to hear about your little angel xxx

 

[morri]

yea. I think it can just start with telling that you wonder what eyes your kids would have xD

 

[CallumsMommy]

Thank you for your replies, booflebump I read your journal and am hoping I too will find an opening to having this conversation.

I wish I wasnt such a scardy cat about it, I keep trying to think of the perfect timing to ask him either when were having dinner, walking the dog, when we're in bed etc but everytime I get to the point where the words are on the end of my tounge I cant bare to speak them out loud!

I think im going to try again tonight...maybe i'll just try and blurt it out rather then having a sit down convo about it, I dont think i can do them very well!!

xxx

 

[MissMuffet]

OH & I often talk about "important" things when we're in the car. There's no escape then! Maybe you could give it a try...

 

[kate.m.]

OH & I often talk about "important" things when we're in the car. There's no escape then! Maybe you could give it a try...

I do that! Or when we're going to bed, as its when ur mind is able to wander and ur not busy doing other things... really piss*s OH off tho!

 

[Webbykinskt]

Sorry about your loss hun but welcome to WTT and I hope your stay is short and sweet

 

[lozzy21]

Hi and welcome to wtt. Sorry to hear about you angel.

I just said outright to my OH when can we have a baby.

 

[Ivoryapril]

So sorry to hear about what you've been through. I think your other half will know that you will be thinking babies since you've already experienced those maternal emotions. I'm sure he'll respond well. Good luck xx

 

[Catastrophe]

I do that! Or when we're going to bed, as its when ur mind is able to wander and ur not busy doing other things... really piss*s OH off tho!

I always start wittering when we go to bed -drives my OH nutty!

Haven't got much advice on how to bring the conversation to children as I have a problem shutting up rather than talking!

Good luck though

 

[lisemae]

It was my OH that brought up the subject of kids one day. We were talking and he asked how I felt about having kids. I'm starting college in the fall, but he still wants to try.

 

[Dixielane]

OH & I often talk about "important" things when we're in the car. There's no escape then! Maybe you could give it a try...

Just want to chime in and say I think the "trap" method is a BAD ONE to instill early on with such an important topic. You shouldn't try, or have to TRAP your significant other into talking about a family.. if thats the ONLY way it can be done, you probably need to work on other things in your relationship for a little bit first.

It will grow hostility, and resentment towards being "trapped" for him, making him cringe at the "B" (baby) word later.. if you are this early in things, you have a long road of important baby discussions, so do it the right way from the beginning. This should be something that you both approach as mature adults.

Just my opinion, as I hate to see people push and push the topic of babies.

To the OP, I think if this person is serious enough with you, he needs to know the importance having a family is to you. That's the best, non-forceful way to start it off and let him know where you stand.