Britain a world leader in working mothers:,

[tinkerbelle2]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1381332/Britain-world-leader-working-mothers-And-harming-childrens-development-warn-global-report.html

 

[Laura2919]

Lets all become SAHM's then.. All our children will then be great performers at school.

Its as if the media are determind to make a working mother feel bad...


I'm proud to be a working mum. I'm happy to be a working mum.

 

[kirmal12]

Lets all become SAHM's then.. All our children will then be great performers at school.

Its as if the media are determind to make a working mother feel bad...


I'm proud to be a working mum. I'm happy to be a working mum.

I wasn't going to say anything as this thread will go the same way as all the others

But I've got to ask why is my son going to be a under performer if i stay at home with him?

 

[Laura2919]

I didnt say anyones child would be an under performer. The report says those who go to work have under performer so I havent a clue what your actually asking here. If you read my post back again I say that lets all be SAHM's and we will all have great performers at school because thats what the study is basically saying...

I think it depends on the parents, the area in which a child grows up, the interest the family takes in their school work, priorities, many things but not just the fact that a parent works or dont work.

 

[indy and lara]

We all do what we think is best. My best is not someone else's just as their best isn't mine. I am happy to be a SAHM and will continue to be so until Emma is at least 3 and starting school nursery. That is what I believe is best for her and her development. Not everyone would agree. Fair enough. I do what I think is right.

 

[kirmal12]

I didnt say anyones child would be an under performer. The report says those who go to work have under performer so I havent a clue what your actually asking here. If you read my post back again I say that lets all be SAHM's and we will all have great performers at school because thats what the study is basically saying...

I think it depends on the parents, the area in which a child grows up, the interest the family takes in their school work, priorities, many things but not just the fact that a parent works or dont work.

Sorry i thought you were being sarcastic, read it wrong

 

[freckleonear]

Reliable studies have been producing the same results for 20 years, but people don't like the answer so it is largely ignored. This is the main reason I will never work outside the home while my children are still young or put them into child care. Personally I think it is best for my children's emotional and intellectual development for me to be a SAHM.

 

[Laura2919]

I dont think its a case of it being ignored. In reality what would happen if EVERY mother became a SAHM? So really the study just puts down a working mum, there is many reasons to why women work, sometimes its money, without working they wouldnt have a great life, sometimes its to have something for themselves, sometimes its because they are a single parent and the only way to provide is by working.

Dont get me wrong sometimes I do feel like I would love to be at home with my girls but thats not possible in my situation. I do enjoy working and I am lucky I work 4 hours a day 5 days a week so I do get to spend time with my kids.

If you have the opportunity to be a SAHM then thats great but just remember not everyone does.

 

[tommyg]

Up until now I thought it would be great to be a SAHM until LO was ready for school or at least nursery but I'm not even 3 months into it and bored senseless.

I am starting to believe that a little bit of quality attention from me would be much better than the full time crap attention he's getting at the moment.

 

[OmiOmen]

This seems to be in keeping with the current attitudes in society and it would seem that the fight for equality no longer seems an issue for women today. I am all for free choice and if someone wants to be a SAHM then great, in fact it is more cost effective for some people because of the cost of child care. Unfortunately some people can not afford to stay at home full time. What I hate to see is the negative attitude that a woman's place MUST be in the home. It seems like everything from social attitudes to children toys are attempting to pigeon hole people in very restricted stereotypes which is very sad to see.

I can not help but wonder why there is no mention of fathers and if a study showed the same about them I suspect it would not be seen as relevant. Studies have shown that the relationship with fathers who work can be better than with mothers who stay at home because of the very reason it is quality time, but why is it presumed this can not be the case for women? I also wonder if class and the link to educational attitudes may have a place in this study (I am thinking sole on the lines of if/when writing a sociology essay this would be salient information to consider).

As for myself, I am a full time student and my husband (who works night shifts) looks after our son on the days I am in class, with exception to a few hours every few weeks when my MIL helps out with night classes. I would not want my son in childcare (personal choice) but I am sick of people trying to make me feel guilty than my son spends time with his farther and that people seem to think him doing a small amount to help somehow makes him spectacular. I doubt my son will have poor performance, we intend to home-school and take education quite seriously.

 

[nov_mum]

It is a hard one. Our foremothers (if that is a word) fought so we could have equal rights which all sounds good in theory. Except now we are expected rather than allowed to have a career, provide for our families and still be a great parent with lots of social ties etc. I am a working mum but I work part time and we don't use child care or sitters. We are lucky we have the kind of work we do which is shift work. The time I am away from them, they sleep through half of it.

I am personally not a fan of child care. The philosophy and the research findings are not favourable or in line with my values. In saying that, you do what you have to do to provide for your family. Most don't have a choice and have to work. In a perfect world a balance would be awesome but most childcare places are not keen on having your children twice a week for a few hours.

What I do have trouble swallowing is women and men that don't want to let a baby get in the way of their careers and lives in general but still insist on having them. I think if you can't put your career on the back burner for a couple of years in their developmental years then perhaps it might be best to leave it for a while or get a cat. Everyone needs some time to themselves and to have other aspects of their lives fulfilled aside from being a mum but having a baby to pop it in to care for 10 hrs a day 5 days a week so you can focus on bigger things seems a little pointless to all involved.

 

[nov_mum]

This seems to be in keeping with the current attitudes in society and it would seem that the fight for equality no longer seems an issue for women today. I am all for free choice and if someone wants to be a SAHM then great, in fact it is more cost effective for some people because of the cost of child care. Unfortunately some people can not afford to stay at home full time. What I hate to see is the negative attitude that a woman's place MUST be in the home. It seems like everything from social attitudes to children toys are attempting to pigeon hole people in very restricted stereotypes which is very sad to see.

I can not help but wonder why there is no mention of fathers and if a study showed the same about them I suspect it would not be seen as relevant. Studies have shown that the relationship with fathers who work can be better than with mothers who stay at home because of the very reason it is quality time, but why is it presumed this can not be the case for women? I also wonder if class and the link to educational attitudes may have a place in this study (I am thinking sole on the lines of if/when writing a sociology essay this would be salient information to consider).

As for myself, I am a full time student and my husband (who works night shifts) looks after our son on the days I am in class, with exception to a few hours every few weeks when my MIL helps out with night classes. I would not want my son in childcare (personal choice) but I am sick of people trying to make me feel guilty than my son spends time with his farther and that people seem to think him doing a small amount to help somehow makes him spectacular. I doubt my son will have poor performance, we intend to home-school and take education quite seriously.

I agree that it should be aimed at fathers too. As a family unit you make it work. There are plenty of highly successful children that are raised by mum and dad or dad as the primary care giver. My hubby and I have both made changes to our work lives so we can maximise our time with the boys and enjoy these years as much as possible.

 

[crossroads]

Only 50% of mothers work when their child is 12 months old? I was expecting it to be higher. I'm the only SAHM I know of in my area.

 

[crossroads]

Up until now I thought it would be great to be a SAHM until LO was ready for school or at least nursery but I'm not even 3 months into it and bored senseless.

I am starting to believe that a little bit of quality attention from me would be much better than the full time crap attention he's getting at the moment.

Do you take your child to groups? How do you fill your time?

 

[morri]

Only 15 % of mothers in Germany single mothers? wouldnt have thought that.

 

[aragornlover8]

I wonder how this would compare with studies that have shown that children who go to high quality day care institutions before kindergarten have higher vocabulary and social skills? Granted that this next tidbit is anecdotal but my nephew Jay has been to daycare since a very young age and has really amazing social skills for his age. Not to say he wouldn't otherwise, but it does seem to be consistent with some of the research.

I think it's a little harsh to say that women who want careers and babies should be willing to a) put their career on the back-burner or b) get a cat. One of the big conundrums concerning women in the workplace is that even in our current women's lib environment, it is still extremely hard to earn the same pay and status as a man in the same position. Women are looked down on for taking maternity leave in a lot of cases I think (you can see a lot of this in the pregnancy forums with women trying to cope with being pregnant at work and discussing plans for their time off with their employers). It is also likely not as easy to just jump right back on the career path after taking an extended maternity leave. For some women's careers, I imagine this is nearly impossible as they would have missed a lot of opportunities in their fields. I don't think it's right for anyone to say that, given these situations, they should simply choose not to have children in the first place.

I also wonder if the studies take into account the women who have their children in daycares AND spend a lot of quality time with them when they get home/have time off. Just a thought.

 

[moomin_troll]

i am a sahm but this is rediculas! i believe a child being at home with mum all day everyday till school would do them more harm. and if a couple cant survive on jst one wage...what then is the child supposed to miss out on things like food and electric.

im not a single sahm pregnant with baby 2, my son is starting nursery soon hopefuly and late this yr early next im planning on going back into training and then employment.

i want to make as much money as i can for my boys and i want to show them a good work ethic.

i no a woman who refuses to work until both her children are at school, i think its selfish seen as they are broke and it wont do the children any good as she also seems to hate being a mother

 

[morri]

By the way , they said single mothers kids were worse at school not kids that have both parents working. I think that would have to do that often single mothers have to work more and have less time for school and stuff.

 

[nov_mum]

I think that the perspective that children of sahm's are disadvantaged is ridiculous. Calling them selfish is even more baffling to be honest. Most SAHMs I know take their children to swimming lessons, music groups, play groups, play centre and socialise regularly with other families. What are the children missing out on exactly?? Being part of a huge herd of kids vying for attention?? Perhaps it is the cortisol bathing that they miss out on??

I have a career but my children come first. I guess I find it difficult to understand how someone could have a child and prioritise it second to their own career. I just think children deserve more than second best. I don't feel like I miss out on opportunities because of my children. I feel like I can have a career and be a mum but if I HAD to choose, I would and I wouldn't compromise a child and their development. That I just find selfish. Wouldn't it be best just to concentrate on one or the other if you can't have both?

 

[Laura2919]

I think that the perspective that children of sahm's are disadvantaged is ridiculous. Calling them selfish is even more baffling to be honest. Most SAHMs I know take their children to swimming lessons, music groups, play groups, play centre and socialise regularly with other families. What are the children missing out on exactly?? Being part of a huge herd of kids vying for attention?? Perhaps it is the cortisol bathing that they miss out on??

I have a career but my children come first. I guess I find it difficult to understand how someone could have a child and prioritise it second to their own career. I just think children deserve more than second best. I don't feel like I miss out on opportunities because of my children. I feel like I can have a career and be a mum but if I HAD to choose, I would and I wouldn't compromise a child and their development. That I just find selfish. Wouldn't it be best just to concentrate on one or the other if you can't have both?

The article is about working mothers not SAHM's