"But you HAVE to use this family name"

[mh_ccl]

We told my FIL that I'm pregnant recently. He has since mentioned that of course, if it's a boy, we'll have to use the middle name of Verney.

Um, no. Granted it's his middle name and one of OH's middle names as well. But still, no. OH feels like we should talk to him about this beforehand. I say it's better to just not discuss until we have the baby and announce its name. We're not even planning on finding out the gender.

We both seem to agree that the baby is already getting a family name - the last name. OH says we can should give the baby my maiden name as a middle name, but I don't want that. OH's side gets the last name, and our baby will have its own first and middle name. We will decide on that, no one else.

 

[xjesx]

Agree.

Until I read your final paragraph I just kept thinking the kid male or female will have a family name.

Traditions of one person or family are not necessarily the tradition of another and that too needs to be respected.

 

[JJKCB]

I dont see why people feel the need to use 'family' names... its uncreative and should only really be done in remembrance of someone who passed (or possibly someone who is terminally ill if they dont have long left)

there's is definitely no need for this after the dad/grandad thing

 

[mommy43]

my children have their own first name & their middle names are after family members but we chose to give them the names I think its up to you as a couple its your baby x

 

[AngelofTroy]

My little boy has 2 middle names, both are after family members… but they are also names we like. So I think it's up to you!

 

[megrenade]

My son, regretfully, ended up with FOB's middle name, which I hate. Not because the name itself is horrible, but because all of the men in his family that he named our son after are no good sons-a-bitches that abandon their families and are total assholes.

Don't make the same mistake that most of us do. It's your decision too!

 

[mamaduke]

Stand your ground. If you don't want to use the family middle name thing, then don't! After all, you're the one who'll most likely have to yell the first and middle names when the kid's in trouble and you don't want to have to say the name you don't like

Seriously, the naming should be between you and OH. Ignore everyone else. Everyone has opinions, but they won't always mesh with yours.

 

[boobee]

I agree, stand your ground! Our LO will have my boyfriend's surname which I've always said would happen anyway. He's asked if I want their middle name to be something related to my family, which although I love the idea of, there isn't anything on my side that actually sounds right?! I imagine we will just pick a middle name that sounds nice in the end but at the end of the day it's our decision and no one else will influence that