C-sections versus Natural Birth

[Leesie]

I live in Switzerland where you can have an elective C-section if you have private medical insurance. And I used to live in South Africa where elective C-sections are quite the norm - most of my SA friends with babies have had sections (electively). One had a doctor who scheduled her section early so that she wouldn't go into labour while he was on vacation lol!

 

[tasha41]

I can't for the life of me see why anyone would opt for a c-section unless you previously had a failed labour and ended up with an emergency section. TBH having another c-section and going through that kind of recovery is what puts me off having another child more than anything else though... even though I'm thankful I was birthing in a hospital environment where I could have the c-section within minutes of the decision being made. It's major abdominal surgery. Normally I'd say you'd be nuts to elect to surgery unnecessarily but I want to have abdominoplasty to fix my tummy that my c-section f*cked up. I wish I felt some positive feelings towards my scar, but I can't. I hate touching it, I hate when my OH touches me anywhere near it. It gets infected if I don't wash it enough, in the summer I have to live with Monistat on it.. if I wash it too much I get dry skin. I have no sensation within a couple inches of it, I burned my skin once there and didn't even feel it when I was leaning against something hot. Oh and I have a really ugly 'dent' caused by muscle separation too, I'd have some even with vaginal delivery but it's worse due to the caesarian. Plus the emotional pains that come from having a c-section, the feeling of not being IDK a "real woman" because you couldn't do it, etc.

 

[cleckner04]

^^ I've definitely felt the 'I'm not a woman' feelings. I hate seeing threads on here about women bragging about their perfect labor or even women that say that had such a bad labor but really it was like 9 hours and they pushed their baby out without assistance.

I don't mind my scar but I literally have like 30 pounds of fat that just hangs over my incision area. It's gross and weird and I sometimes wonder why DH even still loves me when I'm so gross. But the great thing is, our men do love us.

Is there a reason your incision keeps getting infected? Has anyone checked it out? I'm sure if you had another baby they could cut out the old scar and fix it.

 

[PeanutBean]

I get the feelings about not being being a proper woman too. I've always been plumper then most of my friends as I'm curvy and relished that I had childbearing hips so would be great at having children! Stupid teenage thoughts of course. The reality is I am no good at carrying babies nor at getting them out and it does make me feel like I'm broken. If I were a wild animal I'd not survive or at least never reproduce. Failure!

 

[Boothh]

im really scared about having to have a section next time, i didnt find labour that hard or really that painful either (thankyou pethadine ) it was 19 hours and i spent the first few at the cinema LOL, but cus of jesse being basically pulled out at the end and the tear i had (3hours in theater to sort out) iv been advised by a few different proffesionals to have a section next time incase i tear again, and im dreading a section, its hard enough in the early days without recovering from being basically cut in half :/

 

[tasha41]

^^ I've definitely felt the 'I'm not a woman' feelings. I hate seeing threads on here about women bragging about their perfect labor or even women that say that had such a bad labor but really it was like 9 hours and they pushed their baby out without assistance.

I don't mind my scar but I literally have like 30 pounds of fat that just hangs over my incision area. It's gross and weird and I sometimes wonder why DH even still loves me when I'm so gross. But the great thing is, our men do love us.

Is there a reason your incision keeps getting infected? Has anyone checked it out? I'm sure if you had another baby they could cut out the old scar and fix it.

I had an abcess that burst so my scar goes "in" more in some areas, it is hard to make sure it's totally dry. Plus it's in a skin fold, I have some thin, damaged skin rubbing against itself so it gets wet sometimes.. and yep perfect environment for fungal infections! Figures I've never had one and I get one there

 

[cleckner04]

My incision burst too. it leaked out for months. It was painful and gross and awful. I totally sympathize hun.

Peanut- I have the big birthing hips too and even had people say how easy I'd be able to have kids. As if hip size has anything to do with it. try not to beat yourself up. Your lo is here and safe. That's truly all that matters.

Boothh- I think healing is much better when it's planned. And as bad as your tear was, it probably just going to be a different pain but not in as sensitive of an area. I can't even imagine having a torn daisy. That'd be horrible too.

 

[OmarsMum]

I had traumatic emergency CS. I gave birth & I'm proud I have a healthy baby. I dont feel less than those who had natural birth. It doesnt matter how u gave birth, the most important thing is going back home both u & ur LO safe.

Next time I want to go for an elective CS. I cant cope with the stress knowing that there is a 50-50 chance for a successful VBAC.

I love my scar, & will be showing it to Omar when he's older (at least when he asks how babies come out, I can show him frm where )

 

[rubixcyoob.]

Speaking from experience I'm torn. On one hand I feel like a vaginal birth would have been easier on me mentally. I feel like a failure for my body failing (I stopped dialating at 4 cm) and being unaccommodating (my pelvic arch is too small to push a baby through). I feel like I failed my son by not being able to give birth to him. I still do.
A vaginal birth would also have meant I didn't need oxygen during theatre because I had a fit, I would have gotten immediate skin to skin contact, my uterus wouldn't have been torn and needed the head surgeons in to stitch me back up, I wouldn't have gotten a big scar across my stomach that cut into a stretchmark and not healed properly, I wouldn't have spent 4 hours instead of one in recovery etc. So yeah, a c-section has been harder on me.

However, that been said, I know that a vaginal birth would have been disasterous for me because of the afore mentioned body problems I had. Plus, LO was lying with his head stuck and his cheek in my cervix, LO was too big for my body, LO's heartbeat kept disappearing etc. so if I hadn't been offered an emergency c-section things could have been a lot worse.

It depends on the individual is what I am saying imo.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

All the ladies that have had c-sections. You are real women and you did an amazing thing. Carrying a child for 9 months isn't easy amd going through a c-sec. You all did great
xx

 

[HannahGraceee]

after 40 something ours of labour, i was actually thanking the doctor when he said i needed a c-cestion, boy did i not know what i was letting myself into, WORST pain of my LIFE! to make it worst the morning after my c-section i was forced to take my breast pump back after explaing i had just had a c-section less then 24 hours ago when i needed a wheeler chair to get to scbu , and i wonder why my c-section came open and got infected

i couldn't even walk to asda literally 5 - 10 mins MAX away for atleat 6 weeks

and i have never been so afraid in sneezing in my life

 

[Tiff]

I was terrified of labour. TERRIFIED. I'm a wuss when it comes to pain, I wanted whatever drugs they could give me to help dull it.

In my fuddled mind at the time, I had experienced surgery so surgery was something that I could wrap my mind around. Giving birth naturally freaked the heck out of me! However, now that I have given birth "naturally" I don't understand why I'd actually WANT a section.

But what I truly don't understand is why some women who have a child via section feel like they aren't women, or that they "failed" somehow. Birth (to me) doesn't make you a woman, or a mother. Like Heather said, you grew a baby for 9 months! And you are a mother to that baby now! A child is never going to look at you and tell you that you weren't a good mother because you didn't deliver vaginally.

I don't know, I think how you parent your child is what defines you as a woman and a mother. Not the method in which you delivered. I have the utmost respect for women who have had sections, to deal with a newborn on top of recovering from major surgery? They are more of a woman than I'll ever be, IMO. That takes crazy stamina and endurance.

 

[Blue_bumpkin]

All the ladies that have had c-sections. You are real women and you did an amazing thing. Carrying a child for 9 months isn't easy amd going through a c-sec. You all did great
xx

Aw thank you heather - that cheered me up reading that xx

 

[cleckner04]

It's probably the same as women that feel they failed because they couldn't have an all natural birth that they dreamed of so they beat themselves up over getting a few drugs to help get through the pain.

I go back and forth on feeling bad. I know in my heart that Emma is here safe and that is all that matters, but my head sometimes tells me I'm broken because my body didn't work the way God intended. It makes no sense and it's not rational but that's just the way it is.

 

[bky]

I don't feel too badly that I had to have an emergency c-section. Labour wasn't too bad and hopefully a vbac will be possible next time. The only part of it that really bothers me still is the possible effect it had on our breastfeeding.

 

[PeanutBean]

Well I didn't have a section in the end but as I posted above I still sometimes get the feelings of failure. I suppose for me it's because biologically we should be able to have babies. True our pelvis isn't what it once was before we evolved to be bipedal but still 'most' women can give birth ok. It's not about dealing with pain or anything like that, it's that without medical intervention I and/or Byron would've died. So what's wrong with me or my body that it isn't equipped to do it?

 

[marley2580]

I think the thing to remember is that many c-sections are needed because of things the medical professionals have done - interventions such as induction, breaking a woman's waters, monitoring the baby so the mum can't move much during labour etc etc are all proven to increase the chance of a section. This means that often (but by no means always) women need a section not because their bodies have failed them but because the medics have failed them.

That said, I also know what it's like for your body to 'fail' you. Twice I had attempted a home birth with active labour and no interventions etc, and twice I needed a section.

 

[PeanutBean]

Marley, this is true, but somehow logic doesn't come into it! Lol My ventouse I blame entirely on the failed epidural, however after 35 hours there's every chance I couldn't have delivered without assistance anyway and the hospital staff had bets on a section, they were stunned when I eventually dilated. Maybe next time we'll see, no way I'm having an epi again.

 

[ShanandBoc]

C section or vaginal birth....who cares!

As long as Mum is ok and baby arrives safely, thats all that matters xxx

 

[marley2580]

C section or vaginal birth....who cares!

As long as Mum is ok and baby arrives safely, thats all that matters xxx

I know what you mean, but for many women, hearing that can totally dismiss their birth trauma