Calling all preggo mummies with no.2 or more...

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by OliveMartini, Jun 7, 2011.

  1. OliveMartini

    OliveMartini Well-Known Member

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    So any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. :flower:

    I am now expecting no.2 and it's starting to sink in. I have this fear of not being able to love more than one child. Now I know that sounds rediculous but I just can't shake it.

    I am praying that this baby is going to be a boy cus I just don't think I could share my love with another girl. I mean, DD has been my world since I found out I was pregnant. I spend all my time, love, energy, money, thoughts and being with her. And I just can't imagine feeling that way towards another child, especially another girl. Or sharing that with another child.

    Does that make any sense? When I read it back, it just sounds crazy! But I don't know how to describe it any better... :nope:
     
  2. moomin_troll

    moomin_troll mummy to zane and corey

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    im expecting baby number 2 aswel. even now i no i will have enough love for them both, just not sure about how im going to spread my time :S

    zanes older then ur LO so ive been able to keep him involved in the pregnancy and also buying things for his little brother :)

    once i get over the shock of having 2 im looking forward to seeing zane have someone to play with.

    something i stole off my mum, baby when hes born will be buying zane a present lol
     
  3. xxEMZxx

    xxEMZxx Guest

    I feel the same. I said to OH I don't think I can love another child as much as Liam and then I think what if Liam feels left out and I get so worried. But I guess I'm just being silly and of course I will love the new baby just as much when they are here. x
     
  4. AimeeM

    AimeeM Mum to 3 Boys.

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    I totally understand what you mean. I was worried about that but I can honestly say that it is possible to love two kids just the same! I don't think I will be able to explain it as it is something you will need to feel but trust me you will be totally fine.
    I had the same worry but I didn't need to, it's amazing!
     
  5. OliveMartini

    OliveMartini Well-Known Member

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    I'm glad I'm not alone!

    I also get worried about DD not taking to the new baby, feeling neglected etc. Then I worry about how I might favour DD and the circle goes on!

    I'm sure when the new baby arrives it will all fall in place, but I just can't shake that fear...
     
  6. JemimaP

    JemimaP Well-Known Member

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    I feel exactly the same! My little girl is nearly 15 months and I'm so worried she'll feel left out and that I won't love the new baby as much or in the same way. I'd also thought to myself it will be easier if it's a boy but I can't explain why. X
     
  7. pixiepower

    pixiepower Well-Known Member

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    This is my 4th time around and I had the same worry with each extra sibling i brought into our home. All I will say is that you will be suprised at how well a sibling can cope and react, you see these gorgeous older brother/sister protective vibes come out and it is adorable to see, they normally just want to be involved.
    how does this answer your question? I think you still get that moment when a new one is born when you get that rush of love that sweeps you over just as powerful as the first time, and when you see that older sibling just wanting to love baby too and be involved it kind of just works out. It always blew me away how much i loved the new baby from the minute I laid eyes on them and I loved my older one even more for wanting to be a part of it.

    Hope all that makes sense..sort of:haha:
     
  8. Eternal

    Eternal Three boys!

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    i know the feeling, i know i will be fine, but going from 1 child to 3 seems huge and i wonder if ill just be too overwhelmed. OH keeps saying what if i have a fav twin, and that freaks me out too! being an only child i have huge issues with favratism lol!

    However i am sure we will love all of them the same, although i also think life will be very different too. yoru time is going to be so much more spread out but i think your heart can love unconditionally. xxx
     
  9. happymum2b

    happymum2b Mummy to a toddler

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    I'm expecting my second child too and I am really scared that I'll resent my DD when the baby arrives for wanting to do stuff when I'm exhausted. I really hope not!!

    I'm sure all these worries are perfectly normal and it will all be fine when it happens :)
     
  10. catcatcat

    catcatcat Well-Known Member

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    I was like you. And it took a while to learn to share the love and i felt guilty. But now my dds are 6&3 and u should see how cute they are together, sisters are lovely and theyve got each other for life. They have such funny conversations with each other & play with each other. It literally is a case of being twice as good i can not imagine how it wud b without the little one. U wil love it girl power. Dont ask me if its a boy !!! Im on my 3rd cant get enough of them now
     
  11. sammy1205

    sammy1205 Well-Known Member

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    We all feel like this. Dd just turned 4 and I can't imagine how I am still going to have love "left over" for a new baby. Other moms have reassured me you do and especially when you see your child now ooohing and aaahing over the baby, it just falls into place. DD has never asked for a sibling, she all of a sudden is asking for one even over toys and such. She is VERY excited. It think she wants someone to boss around. LOL she already has started to make cards for the baby! I didn't want her to know this early, but she heard us over talking and now it will be a loooong 9 months.
     
  12. readyformore

    readyformore Well-Known Member

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    My son was 23 months when my second son came along. I had the same fears that you ladies do.

    Of course I remember loving my second child the moment he was born. That's a given.

    But, I also remember the moment I realized that this second child was just as important as the first. My baby was just a few days old laying on the floor, and my toddler went running across the room. He didn't turn to avoid the baby, instead, he JUMPED over his brother!
    I was beyond furious. How dare he jump over the baby! I scooped my baby up off of the floor, and I was shaking I was so mad. He could really have hurt him.

    All of a sudden, I realized that my first born wasn't a baby anymore. He was an imperfect toddler. And I realized that I loved my baby just as much as my first.

    It will happen. I would focus on other issues. Mother nature takes over for you. Those babies make sure that they are loved. They only want their mommies to hold them. They love to stare at your face. And then they smile at you, ahhhhh!
     
  13. Marlarky

    Marlarky Mommy&Expecting!!!!!!!!!!

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    Youre not crazy, but picture yourself having 2 not even 11 months apart lol!! :hugs: you will get more excited later into the pregnancy, trust me :D
     
  14. 05mummy07

    05mummy07 Well-Known Member

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    I felt the same when I was pregnant with ds2, but the minute he was born all worries went out the window, and ds1 was brilliant with him.
    I'm not so worried this time around, I'm a bit scared as my ds2 is a right mummy's boy and hates sharing me, but he seems really excited that there's a baby in my tummy, so hopefully he will take to the new baby really well, as a mother you can never have too much love, you will love all your children the same, but for different reasons. :)
     
  15. ljo1984

    ljo1984 2DDs,2angels <3

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    ive never worried about shearing the love, i know i'll love them both the same, boy or another girl. im more worried about how im gonna look after a new born and a toddler that wont keep still ha ha!!
    eta- oh and changing 2 lots of nappies ALL day lol.
     
  16. 5-a-side

    5-a-side Well-Known Member

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    I think what you are going through is natural really, but as others have said you'll be surprised just have much love you have inside you to share and in time you will wonder why you ever worried.
    Of course there will be times when you doubt yourself but those pass when you see the little miracles you have created.
    I made sure when I had #2 that I had a time that I just did something with #1, just us time. I know she appreciated that.
     
  17. mummydeb

    mummydeb Well-Known Member

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    sorry i havent read all the posts but i am the same, really hoping for a boy just so its a diffrent relationship. my mum has had 4 children and she said she felt the same with all of us but she said you love your children all the same and you feel differently when baby is here.
    but.... after last night and watching eastenders with ronnie and roxy i cant stop thinking if i have another little girl the sister bond is very strong and i would love my daughter to have that
     
  18. SuzyW

    SuzyW Well-Known Member

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    I'm so glad I came on this website and found this thread. I only found out yesterday that I'm 4 wks preg with my 2nd, and I've felt my joy being wiped out by fear about how I can love two children and whether DS will feel left out, and how I will cope with two children.

    This thread has really helped me. Thank you all so much. x
     

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