Can decide what to do.

[Mervs Mum]

I posted last night on this subject so thanks to those who already gave some advice!



Well I had my first appointment with the midwife today - mainly form filling TBH but still nice to feel like its real etc.

So we talked about screening tests. Here you get the triple test at about 15 weeks, then if appropriate you are offered the diagnostic tests such as amnio.

I cant decide if I should pay for a nuchal scan/screening. I live near Leeds so I can have it easily but obv there is a cost (£190). I'm going on holiday the day I am 10 weeks and come back the day I am 12 weeks so I could have it as soon as I returned.

If I dont have the nuchal screening then I'd be about 15 weeks before establishing how high a risk of Downs. If I was 'high risk' I'd have another couple of weeks while I got the amnio and the results of that so there is an obvious advantage in terms of time with the nuchal scan.

I've talked to my hubby about but he's being a man and quite non commital about what he thinks we should do.

What are you girls doing and if you dont mind me being nosey, what are your reasons??

Just need some help.

 

[Ann-Marie]

I had the blood test for my Nuchal yesterday. i go in for the scan next Friday (was going to be Monday, but can't afford it til Friday).

At the scan they check for the fluid at the back of the neck... the nasal bone, as it isn't present/is flatter in a Downs, the fluid pumping through the heart and the length of the thigh bone.

The first tri tests are supposedly more accurate than the second tri tests, but again, they both only give a risk indicator, not a definite answer.

 

[Mervs Mum]

What made you decide to have the nuchal rather than just the standard tests if you dont mind me asking??

 

[xJG30]

I've had all the blood tests at the first appointment but I don't wanna take the risk of having the downs on purely because it's our first and I don't wanna risk that we might M/C...

 

[Mervs Mum]

I've had all the blood tests at the first appointment but I don't wanna take the risk of having the downs on purely because it's our first and I don't wanna risk that we might M/C...

Thanks hun.
I think they tend to only offer amnio when your bloods come back 'high risk' - with the nuchal scan their is no risk as its non invasive.

 

[Ann-Marie]

What made you decide to have the nuchal rather than just the standard tests if you dont mind me asking??

Well... I know everyone has different opinions on this, so I'm sorry f this offends anyone, but it's what's right for us this time round.

I decided to have the early test because it is more accurate than the later test, and anything wrong would be picked up sooner rather than later. With my forst two, I dodn't want to know as it wouldn't have changed anything. But now I have my two boys to think about, and I just don't think it would be fair on them......

Again... I'm sorry if this offends.. please don't be judgemental

 

[Mervs Mum]

Well I'm certainly not offended and I'm really pleased that you replied.
If I am honest I think my reason for the scan would be so I could find out as soon as possible because I'm not sure I would continue either for many reasons, including my own experiences of Downs.
Thanks Anne-Marie. x

 

[Ann-Marie]

Thanks. I was really worried then that I mght upset people by saying that. I know some people have tried for a long time to concieve, and others work with/have family that have disabilities, and they probably would have a different view. And I really admre that

 

[Mervs Mum]

Absolutely.

I think from what I have learnt about the people on B&B so far, we seem to have enough people who are intelligent enough to understand a persons perspective without having to agree with it.

Thanks again.

 

[Ann-Marie]

....I'm sat here now feeling guilty as hell.... especally knowing how the termination is carried out, after the midwife explained everything from beginning to end to me. To be honest, I don't know if I could do t, but the idea of having a baby with down scares me so much........ I shouldn't think about it really until I have the test, but I can't help it now

 

[Charliepops]

If it was me then I would pay for the nuchal scan as it´s more accurate and for time purposes

 

[Mervs Mum]

Hey I didnt mean to upset you. Its a difficult subject to think about what ever your views. i must say, I'm suprised at the midwife telling you that. I wonder if she wanted to sway you....I know too how it works as I've worked in a Catholic high school so I've seen the type of stuff they show kids to 'make them think'. Thats why I wanted to know sooner. Like you I'm not saying ultimately I could go through with it were the news not what I'd hoped, but I'd at least have the oppertunity to make the decision as soon as possible.
I'm really sorry if I've got you thinking nasty stuff - like my sister said when I was talking things over with her (and she has a totally different view to me) theres a really good chance there will be no decision to make - its still very rare relatively speaking.

 

[pocahontas35]

Hi! I am new here today and had my first appt. today as well. Since I am about to turn 35, I am considered at a high risk for downs, and my dr. suggested the early u/s (whatever that is that you called it). I am opting to have it mostly because he doesn't do u/s until about 20 weeks, and I don't want to wait that long. I have a long history of twins running in my family, so I can have a detailed u/s in 4 weeks and find out if the bean is healthy and viable. I would not consider to abort no matter the circumstance, but I would like info so I could prepare as much as possible before birth if there was a problem. I am also grateful for those of you who are not judgmental. It is nice to be here with you ladies.
Bren

 

[leeanne]

Well... I know everyone has different opinions on this, so I'm sorry f this offends anyone, but it's what's right for us this time round.

I decided to have the early test because it is more accurate than the later test, and anything wrong would be picked up sooner rather than later. With my forst two, I dodn't want to know as it wouldn't have changed anything. But now I have my two boys to think about, and I just don't think it would be fair on them......

Again... I'm sorry if this offends.. please don't be judgemental

Hun, it doesn't offend me. I have my amnio in April and, quite truthfully, I don't know what I would do but my mind is wondering to another decision, quite frankly.

Here's the thing.

I am a true blue Catholic and really against abortion.

But, I have two young kids to think about. As well, I am turning 39 soon. My hubby and I don't have much family around. Now, first of all, I don't know if I'd be able to handle a baby with Downs. Secondly, I have my other two little ones to think about. Thirdly, what if something happened to my hubby and I? We truly don't have anyone around who could take care of a child with Downs.

It would be a huge decision to make BUT I hope that all is well with baby and I am not forced to make a decision.

 

[dizzle]

I think everyone on here is making lots of sense. For someone to be posting on this board they must really want and care about their bean and with any luck none of us will have to make that decision. However, it is also important to think about any children already present and if you could cope with a child with Downs. I really admire those that do, but I've seen my aunt and uncle struggle for years coping with my cousin (now in their 70s and still full-time carers) and I'm not sure I could do that, not while I'm still studying (post-grad student at the mo).

Anyway lots of luck to those with scans coming up, hopefully no-one will have any difficult decisions to make, but I don't think anyone should be judged for doing something which they think is the best for their family

 

[sallie]

Hiya, didnt want to read an run so thought id add a bit of something. I watched my great aunt bring up a child with downs and it is hard work, i really dont think i could cope and with already having 3 boys it wouldnt be fair on them or the baby. I turn 35 this year so this is 1 test im not looking forward to as due to my age the chances r increased, i just hope like the rest of u that i wont have a decission to make.

 

[buffycat]

didn't see this one yesterday so thought i would add my bit for what it is worth.

My friend had a baby two years ago, and at the 20 week scan they found out that it had club foot. Most of you might know that this just means having corrective shoes, and a bar between feet, and sometimes surgery if totally necessary.

At a later scan, about 30 weeks i believe, my friend and her hubby found out that the situation was actually very different. The unborn baby was diagnosed with Di George syndrome. When she told me, she most she could say was 'google it'. Di George is one worse than Downes....there are more deformaties, but they are all 'fixable'.

The baby had a rough start in the world, she immediately had to have heart surgery, and has just had bowel surgery as well. The second heart surgery is scheduled for later this year. The club foot is almost sorted, but there are other things to 'fix' as well.

This wasn't spotted in early bloods or scans....and as a two year old, she is so beautiful, and so intelligent too. My friends have said it has been tough, but they have never looked back.

each and everyone us will feel differently and we are entitled to our opinions. I have no idea how i would feel, but then, i have a disability myself - some might think that i am being selfish in all of this.

hope we all have happy and healthy pregnancies.

 

[gde78]

Funnily enough OH and I was discussing this last night. I've not seen the m/w yet (due on 20th March), so I've not discussed with her, but I think we can have the nuchal scan with the NHS.

We've decided to have the bloods and nuchal if offered, but not to have any intrusive tests if we're highrisk. Thinking about this more today, I'm wondering if it's better if we just don't know, because it would be horrible being told we were high risk and not having any peace of mind for the rest of the pregnancy. It's good to read all your views, and they've certainly given me some food for thought. I'm sure we'll all make the right decision for our circumstances, and I'm sure no one will judge anyone else's decision.

Good luck with everyone's decisions

 

[Smurfsammy]

Hi,

I have just registered and I am interested in other peoples reasons for having the Nuchal Translucency Scan.

I am having mine next week, I have had the blood test that accompanies the scan on Tuesday this week. I am paying £227 for it which I have been told is alot but we are limited to the private hospitals that offer it in my area.

Anyway, I have had 2 other children who are fine and I only had the standard triple blood test performed by the NHS with those pregnancies but I still worried throughout. My first pregnancy came back at 1 in 300 risk which I thought was fairly high for my age (I was 26) and my second pregnacy came back with a 1 in 6300 risk which I was more happy about (I was 32).

This time around I just don't want to take the risk, although I am not really high risk (I am 33). Plus I wasn't told anything about the private NT scan at my first pregnancy and I was too far gone in the pregnancy the second time around.

If I was found to be at a high risk of having a baby with a disorder then it is better to be given the option of a termination at an early stage rather than later in pregnancy, It is surely traumatic enough. I would definately have an intrusive test such as the amnio and although not an easy decision I think I would terminate if I was 100% sure I was going to have a disabled child. My reasons being that I have to think of the quality of life of the baby plus the effect it would have on my other children and their quality of life. My mum had a baby who died after 3 weeks after being born with severe spina bifida. My mum says if tests were available she would have had a termination, she has never gotten over it and it has been 30 years!

Anyway, It is best to think positive and not dwell on what might be. Although the tests definately help set your mind at rest. I say if they are available go for it. I will also be having a test for Strep B done in later pregnancy (something else that isn't available yet on the NHS so I am having that done privately also).

If only you are told before you have the first baby how many decisions you have to make.