Can someone advise me:

[monkee12]

Ok, so there is a girl who lives near me that has just split from her partner, she doesn’t get much money and has been upset that she can’t afford Christmas for her little boy (5) and little girl (1) I really want to help her and get a few gifts for her children but I would hate for her to feel embarrassed. Would you be offended if it was you? Xx

 

[JessaBear36]

I would be grateful if someone helped me, if I needed it. Maybe kindly go ask her first see what she thinks?? That way you'll know for sure how she will feel about it.

Also it's a very nice thing you want to do. Most people are not like that.

 

[monkee12]

I would be grateful if someone helped me, if I needed it. Maybe kindly go ask her first see what she thinks?? That way you'll know for sure how she will feel about it.

Also it's a very nice thing you want to do. Most people are not like that.

I honestly think she would feel embarrassed but it’s Christmas I’m torn because the last thing I would want is for her to feel that way, I was going to with a couple of other people also put a hamper together for her as she doesn’t have anyone else. I just don’t want to overstep the mark if you know what I mean x

 

[c1403]

I wouldn't be offended as it's a lovely thing to do, yet at the same time maybe my pride would be a bit damaged that I couldn't do Christmas for my children?
Christmas doesn't have to be extravagant so hopefully she can find a way to make it super special for her and the children after having a rough time.

What a lovely person you are for thinking about her though x

 

[monkee12]

I wouldn't be offended as it's a lovely thing to do, yet at the same time maybe my pride would be a bit damaged that I couldn't do Christmas for my children?
Christmas doesn't have to be extravagant so hopefully she can find a way to make it super special for her and the children after having a rough time.

What a lovely person you are for thinking about her though x

That’s what worried me, she doesn’t have any support at all and her now ex isn’t the nicest of people so I don’t think he will even bother. I feel so terrible but at the same time I don’t want to make her feel bad x

 

[kittiecat]

I think it’s lovely of you for thinking of her. I could see how the present thing could maybe make her feel bad if she’s feeling guilty about struggling to afford Christmas....But I love the hamper idea as that’s still something they can enjoy together.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I think that's so lovely. I wouldn't be offended at all. It's lovely to see there is still good in the world and a heartwarming gesture

 

[kittiecat]

Actually yeah tbh really thinking about it I don’t think I’d feel offended either. In that situation it would just mean so much that someone was thinking of me and my children like a real life Santa. You have a really good heart to have thought about them in this way tbh

 

[monkee12]

Aww thank you, I would just hate to see her kids with nothing to open, the 1 year old won’t understand but her 5 year old is in the same class as my DD and I know he would understand more x

 

[wildflower79]

Aww I think that's a lovely idea. I think she'd be happy to have some things to give her kids on Christmas morning

 

[Rags]

I think it is a wonderful and generous idea. Can you do it anonymously? It's a wonderful thing to do but if there was a way for it to happen without her knowing it was from you then she'd be unlikely to feel embarrassed and it wouldn't have the potential to affect your friendship going forward.

 

[monkee12]

I think it is a wonderful and generous idea. Can you do it anonymously? It's a wonderful thing to do but if there was a way for it to happen without her knowing it was from you then she'd be unlikely to feel embarrassed and it wouldn't have the potential to affect your friendship going forward.

Thank you Hun, to be honest I don’t really know her, she is friends with someone I’m friends with and I occasionally see her on the school run as her son is in my daughters class at school so I say hi to her.

The plan was a secret elf and we could leave it on her doorstep and watch from afar when she opens the door. I just know how I would feel if I couldn’t afford Christmas and I’d like to think someone would be there for me and my children but at the same time I wouldn’t want to cross the line so need to do it respectfully and carefully X

 

[Rags]

Thank you Hun, to be honest I don’t really know her, she is friends with someone I’m friends with and I occasionally see her on the school run as her son is in my daughters class at school so I say hi to her.

The plan was a secret elf and we could leave it on her doorstep and watch from afar when she opens the door. I just know how I would feel if I couldn’t afford Christmas and I’d like to think someone would be there for me and my children but at the same time I wouldn’t want to cross the line so need to do it respectfully and carefully X

I like the secret elf idea, its lovely. Would an envelope through the letter box with some cash a week or two before Christmas from 'your secret Santa' mean she could buy what the children had asked for and the food they fancy?

 

[Twag]

I think that is a really lovely idea and yes she maybe embarrassed but I think she would be more grateful so it would outweigh that

 

[monkee12]

I like the secret elf idea, its lovely. Would an envelope through the letter box with some cash a week or two before Christmas from 'your secret Santa' mean she could buy what the children had asked for and the food they fancy?

Yes that could be doable, we was thinking of maybe a hamper with Christmas food in so she can have an xmas dinner, so we could maybe add an envelope into it.
We would have about £100 for each child so I know it’s not a huge budget but it’s all we can afford to do (another girl is also helping us so it would be the £100 all in) then we was going to do a chicken, stuffing, Yorkshire’s etc in a basket with some shortbread etc x

 

[monkee12]

I think that is a really lovely idea and yes she maybe embarrassed but I think she would be more grateful so it would outweigh that

Thank you Hun, it’s hard when you don’t want to step on someone, but it’s Christmas and I could never see anyone unhappy on what should be the happiest day of the year especially after the year we’ve all had x

 

[Twag]

Lovely idea

 

[SmartieMeUp]

I personally wouldn't find it offensive, but I'd appreciate a little heads up with your incentive so I wouldn't feel on the spot nor guilt for giving nothing in return upon a face to face handover. Maybe drop a message saying you're going to buy the kids a few things but don't point out the reasoning. Or if you did want to surprise her, do a Santa's trip on Xmas Eve (knock-a-door-run style) with a note. She'd feel less inclined to feel embarrassed.

Lovely gesture though

 

[monkee12]

I personally wouldn't find it offensive, but I'd appreciate a little heads up with your incentive so I wouldn't feel on the spot nor guilt for giving nothing in return upon a face to face handover. Maybe drop a message saying you're going to buy the kids a few things but don't point out the reasoning. Or if you did want to surprise her, do a Santa's trip on Xmas Eve (knock-a-door-run style) with a note. She'd feel less inclined to feel embarrassed.

Lovely gesture though

Thank You, that’s a good idea. That’s why I asked how others would feel. I appreciate all the comments x

 

[sequeena]

I wonder if she would be entitled to help from the Mr X appeal. Our council do it. People donate presents and they are given to those in need.