Cannot get myself to call doctor. Need some encouragement!

[sdms06]

Hi, so I had a MMC back in Oct. I felt like things were going along okay, but was told there was a slow heartbeat via u/s. I tried to remain positive to find out the next week the baby stopped developing. I opted for a D&C as I could not bring myself to just wait unti things happened.

I'm very happily pregnant again. And I have been mostly happy, with just some anxiety. I'm about 5w4d, so very early. Last time, all the early bloodwork and early ultrasounds caused me a lot of anxiety, so I wanted to wait until about 7 weeks to see anyone (I know what care to take in the meantime).

I cannot get myself to call and make appts. I just tried and burst into tears. I am feeling that as long as I stay blissfully pregnant here, everything will be fine. I am terrified that the second I walk into that office they will just tell me that it's over. I've known for a week and a half, and keep thinking, "I'll call next week" but I need to call sometime!

Anyone else like this? Any encouragement? I appreciate it.

 

[Starry Night]

Being pregnant after a loss is so hard. It's scary to think about another miscarriage. I understand that ignorance is bliss but in the end you'll feel so much better knowing you have a doctor to turn to whenever you do get scared. Calling the doctor will be such a huge moral victory for you. Think about how good you'll feel after you call. Once you call you can return to ignoring things. When I'm in the first trimester I do all I can to make myself forget I'm pregnant (hard to do when you're sick).

I'm sorry for your loss last fall but congrats on your new pregnancy!!

 

[sdms06]

Being pregnant after a loss is so hard. It's scary to think about another miscarriage. I understand that ignorance is bliss but in the end you'll feel so much better knowing you have a doctor to turn to whenever you do get scared. Calling the doctor will be such a huge moral victory for you. Think about how good you'll feel after you call. Once you call you can return to ignoring things. When I'm in the first trimester I do all I can to make myself forget I'm pregnant (hard to do when you're sick).

I'm sorry for your loss last fall but congrats on your new pregnancy!!

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. I know I need to just do it.

 

[Topanga053]

My miscarriage was diagnosed via ultrasound, so when I got pregnant again, I had an almost complete panic attack before my first ultrasound. I associated ultrasounds with bad news, so I was convinced my happiness would be over as soon as we got an ultrasound. It took several healthy ultrasounds before I started to calm down and not fear bad news every time I went to the doctor. I know how hard it is. You will get there, I promise! The first (big step) is just making the appointment and taking it one day and appointment at a time!

 

[Brieanna]

I understand completely. I felt like that with this pregnancy and didn't go the doctor until around 12 weeks! I know that going to the doctor wouldn't "make" me have a miscarriage, but I was afraid to jinx this pregnancy or that it would make me confront my fears about being pregnant again.

I just made sure to take my prenatals, eat healthy and avoid the stuff that is bad.

After the first appointment I felt that I was truly pregnant, but before that I actually tried to almost make myself deny it in a way so I wouldn't feel anxious/worried iykwim. It was "easy" for me though because I didn't have any symptoms, like morning sickness.

This site has really helped me and I was lucky to find a group of people due around the same time as I was who felt the same way in this section.

Congrats!

 

[hopein2014]

wow, I can really relate to this. I have had near panic attacks at every sono after finding out my baby no longer had a heartbeat, even purely diagnostic sonos when I knew I wasnt pregnant but specialist was checking my lining and ovaries.

I am cautiously 7w3d after 3 losses and we saw a heartbeat last monday at 6w3d. My perinatologist would typically have you come back in 2 weeks but because I was such a wreck at my sono they said I could come back in one week, but I figured if my OB could see me this week I would do that instead. Well, it took me days to get up the courage to call my OB. Likely the worry that I would go in and find out in his office again that there was no more heartbeat. Well, I finally forced myself to call and I have an appt for tomorrow AM. But my OB actually saw my records and called me later that afternoon to say he saw I was pregnant again and that I had an appt for this week and to assure me that I would get a sono at that appt and that he was optimistic this one would be a keeper. I thought it was really nice that he remembered me and that he called.

I am so nervous about tomorrow though

 

[patch2006uk]

I haven't had an early loss, but I have ever felt comfortable going to see the doctor before missing 2 periods, putting me at about 8 weeks by the time I've seen anyone medical for the first time. You don't really need to see anyone very early-as long as you see someone in time to do any blood work at 12 weeks and to book a dating scan, if you want them done.

 

[EarthMama]

I know how you feel...I made and then canceled SIX doctor's appointments. I didn't even hear my baby's heartbeat until I was 13 weeks. I just couldn't face even knowing what was going on until I was in the second trimester.

There is no harm in waiting, imo.

 

[confuzion]

^ agreed with earth mama. And that's my plan for my very new pregnancy. Waiting until near the end of first tri to see the midwife. Whereas I went around 5 weeks with my last two pregnancies. I don't even know how I'll face the first sono.