Can't believe he's doing this..

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by zozo28, Jun 3, 2011.

  1. zozo28

    zozo28 Well-Known Member

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    I found out I was pregnant last sunday, got BFP's on several different types of HPT. OH stated he thinks they're not accurate (HPT's) so he was waiting on the blood test and refused to believe I'm pregnant until then. I got the 'positive' from the doctor today after getting blood taken, I called OH to tell him and he said: "oh no." ?????

    I almost died! I guess we'd been more NTNP rather than TTC but I had a chemical last month and he seemed so disapointed. Since I've been telling him I'm pregnant he seems really stressed. I cant understand why he's acting this way, he was the one who told me 'lets have a baby'.

    He said he didn't think it would happen this quickly. I suppose he's just getting used to the idea but I feel really let down. He even said last night 'Do you really think its the right time to have a baby?' BIT LATE NOW!!

    I dont know, I will do this without him if I have to, but just cant understand why he would try so hard to get me pregnant and then act this way, its really strange. That's my vent anyway. Thanks for listening:growlmad:
     
  2. Animaniacs

    Animaniacs Well-Known Member

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    The same thing has happened to me (only I'm like your OH in this situation). I really wanted a third child and now that it's happened, I'm trying not to panic. I thought about everything good and kinda forgot the hard stuff (bigger car, need stuff, etc.) until now. We were ntnp, and I wanted to ttc in August, so this whole timing issue threw me off. I guess I like being in as much control as possible. I charted my last two pregnancies for months and this one I have nothing. It's so different. But, I love my kids so much and I'm sure I'll love this one equally as much when s/he gets here. Just hoping for healthy... My hubby is actually handling it better than me.

    So, in conclusion, I understand what your OH is going through and I'm sure he will come around. Maybe he just likes more planning/being in control like I do. Good luck!
     
  3. zozo28

    zozo28 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for your reply. Yes, I suppose the true reality doesn't hit until it happens, does it? I'm sure he'll come around but I just pictured this being a really happy and exciting time so he's sort of ruined it for me. Luckily he has nine months to get used to it!
     
  4. bubba03

    bubba03 Active Member

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    I'm sure it's just the nerves kicking in. I got my BFP 2 weeks after we decided to start trying and it took us by surprise. It took OH a day or two to get used to the idea and now he's like a child at an ice cream store. The sickness, heartburn, sore boobs and me being boiling hot is just interesting to him at the moment. I am positive once we go to the scan and all is OK and he finds out exactly how much we need to get, that's when he will start to freak out a bit.

    Give him some time, don't talk about it unless he does and wait for it to sink in properly. I'm sure he will be over the moon by the time of the scan.
     
  5. zozo28

    zozo28 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Bubba, that's good advice. I might just give him some space and hopefully he will come around soon.
     
  6. AJC

    AJC Well-Known Member

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    Hi Zozo,

    While my other half and i decided to ntnp i still think it has shocked him. When i found out i had already done 6 hpts which were all negative but i knew i felt different. When i took a digital test and it said pregnant, i showed OH and he was jumping up and down on the spot. That was just over a week ago now, and while he says he is happy he doesn't talk about it much and if i do he changes the subject. I asked him what was going on and he said he does want this, he's just a bit scared, its our first so neither of us know what to expect. Try not to worry too much, i expect your OH is having a cold feet moment, i am sure it will wear off after a little while. Try talking to him properly about the whole situation, find out what it is thats bothering him xx
     
  7. clairealfie

    clairealfie Well-Known Member

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    Yeah give him some time, it's a massive shock and life changing. Just don't start to flap around about it too much yet and he'll slowly come round. Have you ever read 'men are from mars, women from venus'? I got half way through but the gist of it was men need time alone to go into their cave and process things whereas women like to talk things through. Naturally this is where problems arise. Just let him stay in his cave a bit and he'll soon get all excited with you.
     
  8. Welsh_mum2be

    Welsh_mum2be Well-Known Member

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    Hello,

    Like what the others have said he prob just needs a little bit of time to let it sink in! My DH was the same when I told him about my BFP, but I just didnt mention it and gave him time to adjust and now hes happy and is talking about the new baby!

    Men are funny creatures! But we love them! :flower:
     
  9. ShireLass

    ShireLass Well-Known Member

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    We were TTC and caught the egg in the very first month. OH was a bit disappointed at first as he was "hoping to practice more"... :dohh: :haha:
     
  10. Tabitha83

    Tabitha83 Mummy to 2 beautiful boys

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    Mine was the other way around I had a chemical in March and when I told him I was pregnant I got the oh no !!!!
    Then I got pregnant 2 weeks later and he was a bit more excited about it. I think its the shock of actually hearing those words that make them say the most horrible things. I's sure he's just trying to let it sink in and he will come around :flower:
     

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