Ceremony, what would you do?

[emyandpotato]

Having a bit of a wobble about my ceremony. It was going to be in this room but I'm having doubts. It's bigger in reality, by the way.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?...402.1073741829.120148354715236&type=3&theater
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?...7629912.105040.120148354715236&type=3&theater
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?...76536954.94164.307106799382506&type=3&theater


There is also this room, which is their standard ceremony room, but there's something about it that doesn't feel right to me

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?..._402230466536805_578175305_n.jpg&size=960,640


Then there is the church. As churches go it's stunning, can't fault it. Thing is, we're not religious. OH's family are Catholic, but my OH is clueless about Christianity and in fact any religion. I study theology and can appreciate religion and think there are many good points but at the same time a great deal of modern Christian teachings make me quite angry and I don't agree with them. This is the church, by the way:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?...62570593.69416.307106799382506&type=3&theater
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?...76536954.94164.307106799382506&type=3&theater

Pros of venue room:
- Quirky and unique, fits with the day
- Can have the humanist ceremony we planned for
- Can have people sitting on the floor, moroccan rugs, etc etc
- No time constraints
- Free
- Right next to reception
- It is a lovely room

Cons of venue room:
- Looking at photos, I'm unsure about certain aspects, particularly the black framed painting above the fireplace and that bloody carpet
- Worry about chairs and having to move them from ceremony to reception
- Not allowed candles in that room
- Might be a little cramped
- Have to find someone to officiate

Pros of church:
- Beautiful
- Spacious
- No concern about finding a fake registrar as there will obviously be a vicar

Cons:
- We're not religious
- I HATE singing hymns
- *May* have time limits
- A bit predictable

So, what would you do?!

 

[Lauren25]

My personal opinion I'd have it at the venue! I don't agree with having a church wedding when you are not religious and you don't attend church! Me and my OH are both Catholics but we don't go to church and don't follow the religion, we both agreed it would be wrong for us to start going to church just to get married there and pretend we'd be carrying it on!

 

[emyandpotato]

I totally agree with you there, I really don't want to be a hypocrite, I don't know what's up with me lately, just keep having doubts about everything!

 

[aly888]

I agree, the venue room seems the better option if neither of you are religious. And I personally like the first room, a lot. How many people are you having to the ceremony? Assuming those chairs and tables won't be in the room I would guess that you would fit 50 to 80 seated people in there easily, and if you're not having chairs then you would probably get even more in.

I don't understand the officiate thing though. I thought you and your OH we're already formally married? Isn't the 'ceremony' part of your day just the ceremony without all the "officialness"?

 

[emyandpotato]

I agree, the venue room seems the better option if neither of you are religious. And I personally like the first room, a lot. How many people are you having to the ceremony? Assuming those chairs and tables won't be in the room I would guess that you would fit 50 to 80 seated people in there easily, and if you're not having chairs then you would probably get even more in.

I don't understand the officiate thing though. I thought you and your OH we're already formally married? Isn't the 'ceremony' part of your day just the ceremony without all the "officialness"?

Yeah we'll be moving all furniture out and having chairs. If absolutely everyone shows, which is doubtful as it's so far away, we'll have about 60 adult guests.

The plan was to have OH's brother do the vows and act as registrar but he doesn't want to and we can't find anyone to do it so we'll have to get someone else. I do actually have a girl willing to do it who responded to a Gumtree ad but I'm nervous she won't show or will cancel at last minute. At the church, we'd have a blessing from the vicar. We are already married but it'd be nice to do a ceremony because we didn't really get that first time around, and everyone wants to see us 'get married'.

 

[aly888]

Ooh sorry. I thought the Gumtree girl was sorted and a definite. I thought when you said 'officiate' that you meant you had to get someone proper in

 

[emyandpotato]

She is supposedly but I don't know her and it's only Gumtree so anything could happen! I wish someone we knew would do it