Children at funeral advice?

[youngmamttc]

Last week we lost our daughter at 19 weeks pregnant. Because she was under 24 weeks the hospital will do her funeral service but there may be other parents there too saying goodbye to their babies.

My question is would you take your children to say goodbye to their little sibling? My eldest has looked at pictures all week and spoke of her little sister with such pride but my son doesn't understand.

I just don't know wether to take them or not?

Xx

 

[Quartz]

I am sorry for your loss.

My grandad died last year when my two were similar ages. DD went to the funeral and even stood up and said a small tribute to him (with me) of a poem. She understood what was going on, had memories of him and it helped I think for her to gain some closure and understanding.

DS did not go. OH took him in and he thought that the pictures of Jesus Christ etc on the church walls were aeroplanes so he went to the park - he was just to young to understand the solemnity of it all. But OH was happy to take him away as he was not emotionally involved so that is different.

FIrst off I would ask your eldest and explain it to her and see what she wants to do and whether she will find it too much

 

[Eternal]

Firstly so sorry for you loss x

Its up to you, I guess its harder by the fact others could be around, if you decide not to take her you could always planet a special tree or something as a sort of special tribute for her to say good bye, but if you think she will understand then thats totally up to you.

I really think it depends on who the person is and your relationship to them, for the most part I don't take them to funerals but relatives I would, My husbands granny died last year and we took the kids, all 4 of them, and so did most of the other grandkids. I have never seen so many at a funeral before, but it was a fitting tribute to a woman who was so proud of her family and 18 great grandkids. To be fair I took them out during the service and didn't take them grave side, but thats simply because there is 4 of them and my husband was involved in the ceremonies so I didn't want to be chasing them through a grove yard.

I honestly believe its totally up to you.

 

[Lauraxamy]

So sorry for your loss

I honestly believe it's your choice, there's no right or wrong answer. It's a personal decision imo. If you think your daughter is old enough to make her own decision then you could explain and ask her if she'd like to go?
I like PP's idea that perhaps if they don't go you could still do something special together.

 

[Tasha]

Firstly I'm sorry for you loss. You I would take Skye as I feel it's important she gets to say goodbye as she understands some what and Oaklen is totally your choice. When Honey died my oldest two were 22 months and 3 years and they came, then when Riley Rae died they were 7, almost 6 and almost 3, and again they came xx