Chinese Accupuncture

[Briss]

Blythe, thanks I am OK just super busy at work. Just got home and looks like will be working weekend

Your previous chart looks strange, I do not think you ovulated on day 9, most likely day 11/12. I can see you started clomid?

I finally had my follow up scan and they could not see any blood I am so hoping this is good news but just in case I booked a private scan for next week cos the lady who did the scan could not distinguish between yellow body and a cyst. She thought I ovulated from both ovaries while I know for a fact I have a cyst on my right side, it's not yellow body. But at least the good news I ovulated so ovaries must be working. Also the Czech clinic wants a report that blood issue is resolved before they can start my cycle and the NHS unit just does not do it. I want to wait one more cycle and then I can start mid November. a bit scared if I am honest but we really need to step up our efforts.

I will probably start temping now, before did not make any sense cos my temp was constantly raised because of the blood.

 

[Blythe]

Im so pleased there was no blood visible on scan. I hope you get this double confirmed with your other scan...it will certainly be good to get a second opinion.

i will be following any treatment you do in CR very closely so when you get time please do post details.

i have had a pack of clomid in my cupboard for ages and it keeps calling....i think the super EARLY ovulation [combined with the days of spotting pre AF] swung it for me as clomid makes me ovulate later. i am doubling the dose to 100mg and its not monitored so quite stupid really but that is where i am at nowadays.....i hardly slept at all last night and had bright red cheeks. I also had the most explosive row with DH about drinking/TTC etc etc etc might be the clomid....might just be me losing it!

i am going to Fiona [qiyoga] fertility retreat tomorrow in harley st. it is on for four hours. i have been in such a dark hole obsessing about IVf that i just need to spend some time with her because she always feels so positive about it and makes me think it is possible. i hope to walk away with a clear plan about how i get my body back into balance without using acu and herbs. she has a reflexologist going to do treatments so i think a 10 min daily routine combing yoga poses, self administered acupressure and reflexology might help balance hormones....well that would be a nice outcome.

i will combine that with better diet. i have brought a nutribullet and the juicer and old smoothie maker are history. As they required lots of washing up afterwards i found it quite tiresome using them. i made a nice smoothie using chia seeds, almond milk, almond butter, coconut oil and frozen berries and it was delicious.

I hope you do get a break this weekend from work.

 

[Briss]

Blythe, I am totally with you re DH drinking. I can hold it together most days but when i see he's been drinking it just tips me off and I go nuts, feels like I've lost everything and even hope. the clinic in CR does not do IMSI, they only offer PICSI so having good morphology is crucial and drinking just does not help.

I joined retrofit FF thread and already know what hotel I should stay at etc. ladies are very helpful. one thing I still can't figure out is where to do my scans in London. that private scanning place is just too expensive at 200-300 per scan it just defeats the whole purpose of going to CR to save costs.

I also do not sleep well lately, probably stress at work gets to me.

I think this is a very good idea to go to Fiona fertility retreat, it helped you a lot last time. please share your experience. I could not do anything physically while having this blood issue and may have to carry on with no physical activity for a while. sometimes I feel really upset when I see myself in the mirror, I've never ever been this fat, I look so different. DH does not like it but after losing so much blood I really should not diet, my blood test is still not back to normal. I get some comfort from the fact that i lost weight twice in the past and I know how to do it now (it's not healthy but it works) so if I am desperate I can always lose weight in 2-3 months.

How does nutribullet work? how is it different from a blender? I love juices but agree it's so tiresome to do all the washing and cleaning for a small glass of juice.

 

[nobump]

Briss good news about your scan. Hope you manage to find a reasonable place for scans during your cycle.

Blythe sorry your feeling down. Hope your course helps.

Starting to enjoy acupuncture again today's session was good. Got tablets to take this week as we are travelling so boiling herbs not an option. Its dh 50th this week so letting our hair down. Heading to London for a few nights. Nice food and a few glasses of wine is on the agenda.

Was floored last week a friend anounced her pregnancy shes a month older than me... and was single at mt wedding. .. happy for her but made me feel like a failure with my crap eggs and hubbys sliw swimmers. ... thinking of giving up for good cant keep hurting all the time.

 

[Briss]

nobump, sorry you were feeling down, CD 1 for me so even though i had no expectations I still feel like it's the end of the world. one friend is pregnant with twins after 1 IVF, another after 2nd IVF, both older than me and both produced 8-15 eggs. what's wrong with me??? why can't I?? anyway, must stop feeling sorry for myself and get on with it

have a great time in London!

 

[Vonn]

Blythe--I am really curious about your new plan of yoga, acupressure, and reflexology. I've heard great things about all of them. Why don't you want to do acupuncture & herbs anymore? The retreat sounds great, I'm not familiar with it.

No Bump--Enjoy the birthday celebration!! I hope it takes your mind off TTC frustration. It can be so overwhelming. I turned 40 1 week ago and treated myself non stop for a whole week. That made it festive!

Brisk--Once you are in the TTC mode, CD1 just plain sucks. So depressing. It takes me a few days to get hopeful that the next cycle is the one. I'm glad you're connecting with others about the CR clinic & good luck on your search for a scanning place.

Hi to everyone else!

The only way I keep my sanity is by feeling like I am doing everything I can. Constantly adding/trying new things. Legs up the wall yoga pose...check. Rasp leaf tea...check. B complex vitamin...check. Etc., etc, etc. It's exhausting!

 

[Blythe]

No Bump - i don't know how to give up....i wish i could too because it consumes almost every hour of every day...it is always there.

glad the acupuncture is going well for you.....and i do hope you and your DH have lots of fun this week and enjoy the booze

Vonn - i don't want to do acu and herbs anymore because i did it for a long time and gained nothing from it....neither mentally nor physically. Yes, the acu appt was nice...well the 5 mins head massage at the end was the nicest bit but i cannot justify the expense with so little in return. i feel if i focus and change some of my own destructive thought patterns i can do quite a lot of things for myself.

Briss - i went to my retreat earlier today. it was me and another younger lady who has issues with PCOS and Fiona Kaczmarczyk [Awakening Fertility] and Katharine [mamabe]

link to retreat details and fiona's website:
qiyoga - here is the link: https://www.imsublime.co.uk/natural-fertility-yoga-retreat-ivf-support-retreat

Katharine website:
www.mamabe.co.uk

i sort of walked in there thinking i had a handle on most stuff but i walked away with a real focus and i really feel committed to changing a lot of my habits around eating and moving and also i will do my very best to start, if not meditating, then just sitting there with no distractions for 5 mins every day.

we started off with some yoga which i found so difficult...i really have let myself go. Also when i do it in my living room i never really contort myself properly into the right positions...i stop when i start having to exert too much effort!!

had a healing session...bit like reiki and then Fiona when through stomach fertility massages and i found that super helpful and will continue myself at home.

then had a reflexology session which was lovely, It was very interesting talking to both fiona and katharine about my own anger around this stuff, in particular with the IVF, and how i can change that. They are just very clear that i can achieve pregnancy without IVF or any other treatments with their support and they have had a tonne of success with their clients. Katharine had dealt with chaps with v.low sc and treated them until very high count.

Briss - do you think your DH would consider reflexology?

some stuff i recall:
don't buy vitabiotics stuff...wellman, pregnacare etc...all just crap. solgar good and other whole food/pure source products

talked a lot about food and food sources....so i am going to really revamp my diet and ditch the caffeine and crap.

 

[Briss]

Do you recall what they said about caffeine? I mean I know it's bad but why exactly in their view? I need something for motivation.

why is vitabiotics stuff bad?

If I am honest I do not believe they or anyone else can help with SC. I've heard it before from TCM practitioners but their herbs did not really make any difference. Even hormonal treatment did not help. I may get my Dh to see dr Ramsey again but he was very clear if that did not help nothing will maybe it's CD 2 speaking, just feel so depressed right now.

 

[Blythe]

Briss - I know it's bollocks. I'm so sorry AF came this month.....I was checking as I always hope to see you get a bfp naturally so you don't have to do IVF again.

I cannot recall the details re the vits but it was something to do with the lab and the standards being food grade rather than medicine grade/quality. I will have to follow this up with email and find our the exact detail.

They view caffeine as a toxin and when I said I drank it in the morning they shook heads. I don't know why. I remember reading somewhere before they it effects adrenal gland and has an effect on blood sugar levels.

 

[Blythe]

DH

 

[nobump]

Briss, sorry about AF making an appearance... it is hard to hear of others success, I have a friend who has just had an IVF baby...

Blythe, it is so frustrating when it seems all that we do is wasted when DH goes off and does things that don't help! The just don't seem to understand..

Vonn, birthday celebrations were good, but as my brothers girlfriend is having a c-section on Wednesday so there was bit of baby chat...

 

[Briss]

Blythe, really sorry about your DH, that's just stupid of him. I lose myself completely when i see DH was drinking even a little but then I think that he was not drinking for a long time and there was no improvement to his sperm anyway. it's all so random! by all means make a point that he should not drink, just try not to stress yourself about it too much. I know easy said than done... I so wish TTC was easier or at least shorter...

 

[alison29]

Blythe sorry to hear about the fight with Dh. I have learned to stay away from dh if he is drinking more than a couple he may not even remember that he was a jerk the next day. Most people when drunk are unbearable. Not to say that one or two does that at all we are talking LOTs of liquor.

As for caffeine I heard that is true about blood sugar and adrenal fatigue that your body is all always in flight or fight mode. Right now I am trying ot go free too. I am tired of being a slave to the drug and wondering if just maybe that is the key to fertilty. I think it also steals your energy in that if you are free you will have consistent energy through out the day instead of wanting to die around 3 o clock. I am tired of waking up groggy in caffeine withdrawal kind of "don't talk to me until I have had my fix" kind of thing. It's hard today. I went from a lot down to half a tea bag today (weaning down all last week). I was so spacey though at work I had a quarter cup of green tea to see if that helped at all. It would love to get this monkey off my back! I read you will eventually sleep better and be less irritable without caffeine. All things i could use help with.

 

[alison29]

oh plus the headaches are because MORE blood is circulating and flowing to your brain. So while suffering headache i think about the blood flow going to my reproductive parts too! The caffeine constricts the blood flow which can't be good every single day of my life for years and years.

 

[Briss]

warning: am feeling rather low and depressed today so I might be even more negative than usual. probably because I feel I am finally recovering from my IVF complications so can afford to think through what happened and finally grieve but all I feel is anger and terrible sadness

Blythe, did you go to the Urban Day Retreat Fertility Workshop for £199.00? seems reasonable. I'd go for the next one but I will probably be ovulating end of Nov so if all goes will I will be in Brno. Did you ask about their IVF Support Strategies? share any useful tips you leant there.

I was also checking Mama Be's website and was less impressed. their Retreat is £2,725 for 3 days. That's super expensive? Did you have your free personal hour of fertility coaching with her first? I read through her website but certain things she says are not supported by my experience like "Women deserve alternatives to the typical medical options of … IVF" – been there done that and well no, our first IVF was probably the closest we ever got to actually getting pregnant, naturally nothing is happening regardless of what we eat etc. If her retreats were free or cheap I'd definitely go because there is no harm in what's she is proposing but financially it's best to invest in IVF. and the prices are comparable to IVF. I just had lunch with a very overweight colleague who got pregnant with IVF with her even more overweight husband. That makes me feel ridiculous with all my greens and fresh wheatgrass juices and TCM etc etc (not that I do any of this now but still). I looked at the outline of her Fertility Coaching and I think we get most of these from B&B anyway? I mean we are experts on fertility issues like egg quality, aren't we? Did she offer you any more information on this than you already knew form your own research?

Having said that I also believe you can get pregnant naturally, you have done that before and you can do it again. I am very sure it will happen at some point. I am also confident you can get pregnant quicker with IVf if they look after you properly

I agree that vitabiotics products are cheap etc so maybe quality is not great but they give you the minimum vitamin intake you need daily. is this not correct? besides none of us is just taking pregnacare on its own, right? we have tonnes of other stuff to cover our unique deficiencies. Also, is it right that solgar are whole food products? I mean they are top quality vitamins and I tend to buy more and more solgar products but they are still synthetic I think. higher nature does food based vits (smell is horrible btw). Also a friend who is pregnant with twins after first IVf was only taking pregnacre and her husband improved his SC massively (they did not need ICSI in the end) after taking wellmen and nothing else, he also smokes occasionally and over 45. isn't it just ironic?

re reflexology, I personally do not believe it does anything for fertility. It's just for relaxation and the cheaper you can get it the better.

re meditation is fantastic but here is another ironic fact. My Dh was trying to find substitute to his social life and drinking beer with colleagues so he started meditating. I mean he is very serious about this stuff and have been for many months now, he read about 30 books on this and meditates all the time + no beer + vitamins + hormonal treatment and what do we have? his sperm got worse… both quality and quantity. WTF, I am asking?

yoga is tough, no question. I am completely the same when i do it in my living room i am not sure I do it properly and take the right positions cos I really cant tell and my Dh sometimes says what I do looks nothing like what the lady on the screen is doing… I still think it probably takes time and we need to do it more and more and with time it will get easier the problem is I do not stick with it ...

How did they recommend you deal with your anger about failed IVf?

I had my bloods done to check how my body recovers from blood loss and shockingly I have high cholesterol! All that chocolate… I am in two minds whether to lose weight or not: I am 8 kg heavier than 10 years ago and at least 4 kg heavier than before I started IVf. BUT there only way to lose weight is to replace food with chocolate (because I know it works) – not healthy at all.

alison, re caffeine, one thing I know is that it narrows blood vessels so blood circulation is distorted. it also increases blood pressure which I know for a fact cos my blood pressure is naturally low but it goes up to normal after a cup of coffee. it's a stimulant so it must make you stressed little bit (i.e. adrenal gland) but I LOVE it, the taste the smell so in that sense it has its therapeutic qualities, I actually feel relaxed and happy while I am having a cup of coffee. I do not drink it for "pick me up" effect because I rarely feel it, I just really love the texture and taste of proper black coffee. Will obviously quit it when we start IVF.

I know what you mean re staying away when DH is drunk. Not that he has done it in a while but he used to drink and at times was so drunk that he could not remember what happened and how he got home…. and he had no recollection of me screaming, hitting him and generally being upset etc so I also stopped talking to him when he was like that (not that it was easy mind you!) and picked it up in the mornings. thinking about it made me realise how far we have come in this process. it's been a while since I had to live through something like that, these days I am getting out of temper when he has a pint. I should be grateful to him I suppose it was not easy to change his drinking habits. but still not enough to make a baby…

 

[alison29]

That's great about your dh meditating Briss! He will be a much better father for it (and the sobriety ;/) Yoga helps with the mind focus for sure. It is too bad we can't replace food with chocolate I could eat pounds of chocolate everyday.I am going to dermatologist today. I have this hair shedding and itchy scalp/flakey problem. I don't know if their related but I am sick of trying to diagnose myself. Dr google is not solving my problem this time.

BTW you weren't too negative Briss. What will you do about the cholesterol? What is Brno? My friend at work failed 3rd iui with donor so is considering doing IVF. I told her it at least would take her possibly messed up tubes out of the equation and make sure to have good eggs implanted. She had stage 4 endo (one of her tubes was wrapped around her ovary).

 

[Briss]

alison, I totally agree that you need to see a specialist Dr google is not very helpful as there can be so many reasons for your itchy scalp/flakey problem. I hope it can be quickly resolved.

re Brno, that's so funny, I also did not know what Brno was and I did not even know how to pronounce it, not enough vowels it's a city in Czech republic where Reprofit clinic is. I looked it up it's quite beautiful. I already know the hotel I will be staying at, will fly with Ryanair and found a place for scans/bloods in London, not cheap so maybe going there a few days before EC will be cheaper than doing an additional scan in London. but there is also a problem with taking extra days off work.

I do not know what to do about cholesterol. I am so surprised about that. all those years of overeating chocolate...

 

[Vonn]

Alison--I had the same hair majorly falling out & scalp so, so itchy all year round but esp bad in winter (so dry). I also had a ton of other issues that I kept chalking up to being out of shape, getting older, not drinking enough water. Turns out they are all related and = low thyroid (hypothyroidism).

About a year and a half ago my primary care dr. had referred me to a derm for the hair issue & at same time to FS. Got in to the FS first and she said maybe it was a thyroid problem (something they check for because it can cause infertility). I went home and looked it up and was floored. All.my.issues.explained.

For some, it's an easy fix, for others not so much. Anyway, just had to get that out there as a possible answer for you. If they are willing to check for it with a blood test, make sure they test: TSH, Free T4, Free T3, Thyroid peroxidase antibody, Thyroglobulin antibody. If they only want to test TSH, tell them that's not accurate enough for everyone and you want to be thorough.

Good luck!!

 

[Blythe]

Briss my darling!!! - I was searching through this thread earlier looking for that link to the l-arginine report - the one that says it not great. I did find your notes also on 'everything starts with an egg'. Anyhow, thats an aside.

You are grieving your failed IVF and anger is one of the stages of grief isn't it. I know as i also feel total anger but i did not have to go through what you have just gone through. You are still only a cycle away from it so it is still fresh.You will get pregnant and once you are all this bullshit will just fade away. Just focus on the details of this new cycle.

i read all your questions re the retreat and i just thought to myself what a terrible lawyer i would have made. I really did not ask that many questions, instead i just off loaded about my own angers and frustrations. They advocate living a healthy lifestyle, inc. movement, eating higher frequency foods, avoiding certain foods etc and ensuring mind/body are receptive to new life and attracting your new baby.

Its really hard to be positive with this stuff as we have discussed and agreed on certain things in the past, particularly with regard to manifesting etc. However, i did think at the end of the retreat that i have been dipping in and out of things for the last few years but never really permanently changing anything so that is what i am going to try.

i had not looked on the mama be website so had no idea of the costs. She did say she was cheap but clearly not! Another lady was meant to come on the sunday but she found out she was pregnant the day before having worked with them both. They both have had lots of success with getting women pregnant and i suppose that means they can charge those prices.

i know that vitabiotics are just fine and dandy for most people. i mean most people get pregnant without any supplements at all. I just don't know the answers anymore as it all seems quite random to me.

With regard to my anger Katharine said she could work with me to help shelf it or resolve it...one or the other and move forward. i did not probe as i assume it is through her coaching and reflexology work. I have to say i am considering going to a cheaper reflexologist...they do deals on wowcher!!

at the end of the retreat they offered a deal so i could work with both of them with a discount...it was still around the 875 mark for about 5 sessions....which would be split between them both. i cannot commit to that right now but i am thinking perhaps this might work for me so I'm keeping options open.

I have to say i felt quite appalling yesterday as i had had a full on yoga session, healing session and reflexology session and my head was thumping all day and i felt really ill. But today i woke up and felt light and detached from what has brought me to this point. i just want to focus on eating and drinking the right things and making my body fit and healthy again. i have felt so lifeless and bogged down with LTTTC and i don't feel like that anymore. things have got to change for me now.

couple of things that stuck...

go outside and expose eyes to natural daylight for at least 30mins per day - no glasses, no contacts as light need to reach back of eye. i always have my contacts in so difficult for me. apparently helps balance hormones

Eating diet rich in high frequency/life force foods - have been getting lists together today and i find it fascinating.

the massage was good - she showed me how to really push against pubic bone around edges which helps massage ovaries and uterus...felt quite tender but apparently very good.

at the end fiona got some supplements out and said one way of determining if your body needs it is holding it against chest with both hands and then closing eyes and asking the question. Your body will go backwards [no] or forwards [yes] - probably more crap but i liked it and will try it with other things...shoes and the like!

i did do some Skype sessions with fiona...i got an hour free when i brought her yoga dvd but i think she offers 30 mins free without purchasing anything. i also do not have a Facebook account so don't worry about the 'like' thing. Its something to think about.

i am sure i will think of other things but my mind is a bit of a blank right now.

 

[Briss]

Blythe, thanks! you always find the right words to make me feel better

btw, I am checking wowcher for reflexology. I also got that back massager you recommended I think a while ago, the same type as the one we got for feet so am seating here with my feet and back being massaged heavenly!

If you feel so changed and so positive after the session that's the main thing, it means its working for you. maybe snapping out of this state of mind of LTTTCer is what we need. can't wait to hear what changes you are going to be making, so exciting!

I suppose anger is a tough one to cure in one session, but it would be really interesting to see how they will deal with this.

I never thought about exposing eyes to natural daylight as being related to hormones. my eyes are very sensitive to light even little bit of it. I wonder why

what are the high frequency/life force foods? like fruit and veg?

I have to say I am not sure about massaging ovaries. sounds worrying. is it for blood flow?

that's so funny about backwards/forwards test my body tends to naturally lean forward I will just say yes to basically anything. did they explain where this test came from and what's the thinking behind it?

thanks for sharing btw, it's all useful stuff to know and different to what we did before so i am hoping it will work.