Chinese Accupuncture

[smurfy]

I just got a response from Munich, usually they take ages to respond but this time they responded immediately. The email is just too depressing to repeat here but basically my choices are wait for it to happen naturally in next few weeks or do an op and get the embryo tested for chromosomes. I just hate myself for letting go and feeling happy, I had the whole new life planned for us already and now I need to go back into my "normal" TTC state of mind, remove all pregnancy related things from the house. just not sure what to do with all pregnancy related things in my head, I have built so many in the last few weeks.

So so so sorry, my heart goes out to you. You have been through so much and was extremely happy for you, this is not fair. Agree so hard to go from letting yourself be happy to this position. I thought once I got pregnant that would be it, but it wasn’t – I had MMC in Dec just after 7 weeks, I was heart broken like you and after 4/5 years of trying also. I also thought it I was going to miscarry I would not find out during scan and it would be private, for me this was the most shocking part of it.

You will feel very numb for a week, I was also given same information as you, in that you can wait to see what happens naturally, they said after you stop taking IVF drugs it should start after 5 days, mine did not and then had to have op. The only thing that helped looking back on it, if I had to have op the same time I had found out I would have been even worse. I would suggest you wait for next week and then see what happens.

When your read you will see at least positive you did get pregnant and I was told a MMC is your body wanting to hold on to the pregnancy – that broke my heart.

Please take care and let me know if you need any advice

Lots of love xxxx

 

[Briss]

terripeachy, according to database my numbers looked OK but I compared them to my previous levels 2 weeks ago and they should have increased more. I know at 6-7 weeks not everyone gets a HB and I was getting a lot of hope from that but Munich seemed very conclusive. they said "little hope". also embryo looked strange but DH managed to see hands (I doubt that's what he saw though). He is so hoping bless him, it was such a shock. I feel normal, no symptoms and no spotting but last week my breasts were less sensitive and stopped growing. and that got me worried.

Zeri, they offered to do the chromosome check on the embryo if we do an abortion. not sure if this helps us at all.

smurfy, thanks. I am so sorry for your mc. It's just so hard. I so hate it that I have to go back to TTC. My Dh loved me so much when I was pregnant and happy, he said he feels he finally got real me back and now it's all over. "unfair" just does not even come close to describe it. I am trying not to think about it in these terms because it pains me so, I need to figure out the shortest and safest way from here to my next EC/ET. Focusing on my next IVF is the only think I can hold on to not to fall apart completely.

Blythe, I am so naïve, we planned a holiday from Friday to South of France. Now I feel like it will turn into a trip to Munich for abortion… what's better mc or abortion? I cant decide. mc may take weeks and weeks and I really need to get back into TTC asap, 39 is just around the corner. It was such a relief that I got pregnant and have my first baby before I am 40 because there was hope we could TTC No. 2, now this thought just causes me a lot of pain. but then abortion is an op and can do some damage as well although it would allow us to test the embryo and find out if it was due to chromosome (I am pretty sure it is). mc is also not a guarantee we wont have to end up doing abortion anyway if something is left behind. It might be even worse. cant think straight at the moment. I do not need to decide now I will do another test and scan this week to be sure

 

[Briss]

smurfy, you were right I just got another email from Munich and they recommend to do another scan next week which will be conclusive. I guess they will tell me to stop the meds after that and wait for mc.

 

[smurfy]

smurfy, you were right I just got another email from Munich and they recommend to do another scan next week which will be conclusive. I guess they will tell me to stop the meds after that and wait for mc.

yes good then you can make informed decision. From the MMC scan they measured at 8mm and when I went back 10 days later had not reduced a lot to 7mm, there was no heart beat as we expected. Once I knew after the 2nd scan there was no heartbeat I didn't think of as abortion at all and they call medical miscarriage. It would have taken weeks from my situation and after 2 weeks I was ready to let go even though very hard. They also informed me approx. 15% of people even if have natural miscarriage then have to have op due to tissue being left over which can cause infection. I receovered very quickly and had period approx. 6 weeks later since 5th Dec op I will be having frozen transfer next week take care xx

 

[Briss]

smurfy, thank you. I agree medical mc is a better term. abortion sounds bad. After talking to Munich they actually said medical mc is covered by German insurance but because I do not have it it will be quite expensive for me to pay myself. not sure if I get this option in London on the NHS but even then I will be so worried if it's done properly. I'd prefer to do it privately because my uterus is working properly cos clearly it's trying to hold on to pregnancy and out of 3 ET I had chemical and now mc so two implantations (or attempt at implantation) so to me it looks like my uterus is doing a good job just unlucky with an embryo. I really want to make sure my uterus is fine after that.

It's so ironic when after so many failures and 6 IVfs I thought this cant get any worse. failed IVF is so much better than a mc. I really did think we would do natural IVF until we get a lucky embryo but I just did not factor in the possibility of us not finding out if our embryo is not the lucky one until several weeks into pregnancy. last 5 years my life was all about finding new low points …

btw, I do not know if anyone heard Elton john / Gabana argument about IVF but that's exactly the reason I did not want to disclose this pregnancy as a result IVF. too much prejudice I really wanted to protect my baby.

 

[smurfy]

smurfy, thank you. I agree medical mc is a better term. abortion sounds bad. After talking to Munich they actually said medical mc is covered by German insurance but because I do not have it it will be quite expensive for me to pay myself. not sure if I get this option in London on the NHS but even then I will be so worried if it's done properly. I'd prefer to do it privately because my uterus is working properly cos clearly it's trying to hold on to pregnancy and out of 3 ET I had chemical and now mc so two implantations (or attempt at implantation) so to me it looks like my uterus is doing a good job just unlucky with an embryo. I really want to make sure my uterus is fine after that.

It's so ironic when after so many failures and 6 IVfs I thought this cant get any worse. failed IVF is so much better than a mc. I really did think we would do natural IVF until we get a lucky embryo but I just did not factor in the possibility of us not finding out if our embryo is not the lucky one until several weeks into pregnancy. last 5 years my life was all about finding new low points …

btw, I do not know if anyone heard Elton john / Gabana argument about IVF but that's exactly the reason I did not want to disclose this pregnancy as a result IVF. too much prejudice I really wanted to protect my baby.

Hi I am doing IVF private similar to you as over 35 and my area won't cover us. My private clinic do not do medical miscarriage so I was able to transfer to a hospital of my choose local to me, the nurse faxed over all my details to arrange via NHS. I was put in private room and they really looked after me. You can get done on NHS most hospitals have an EPU where this is dealt with so you should be covered and to be honest you won't want to be traveling to do this.

Also if you have BUPA tmost policies cover this but the speed for NHS was within 2 days so did not use it.

Agree it seems like your body is doing what it is suppose too. 1 in 3 pregnancies ends this way. Do you know what size the fetus was that will give you indication what stage it got too?

Ps yes saw the news how awful and totally agree that people are prejudiced take care xxx

 

[nobump]

Briss my heart goes out to you. Life is so unfair. You ate si supportive of everyone in this thread.

Looks as though you are taking the positives from the fact you got your BFPs.

Hoping for a positive 2nd scan.

Waiting a week will allow you time to digest things.

I can't offer advice re waiting or going for the op. But has the clinic recommend a break before your next cycle?

Xxxx

 

[Briss]

Nobump, no the clinic said once this is over we can plan the next step.

Thinking back last week I did notice my breasts stopped growing, I did not need to pee as often and last few days I got acne which I usually get on hormonal change like O or AF. I was secretly worried something was wrong but could not exactly say what. I also have noticeable AF cramps today but it might be psychological after the news.

 

[Briss]

Smurfy, my scan says gestational sac 12 x 9 x 8; yolk sac 1.7 x 1.8 x 2.0; embryo present; I'm not sure what this means but the sonographer said it looks like 5 weeks rather than 6

I stupidly went to gp to register my pregnancy and they are supposed to refer me to a midwife. Maybe she can refer me to a mc management unit?

 

[Blythe]

briss. You would get the option of D&C on nhs if what is happening does turn out to be MMC. You may not have that option open to you though as it can happen naturally and quite fast. The girl at work had 2 MMC - heavy bleeding and scan showed uterus was clear. She had second within days of 7 week scan.....the first around the 10 wk point (no scans beforehand but only after bleeding which showed empty sac.....she had period within 3 weeks although came back after 6 with second).

Once you have conclusive facts you will be better place to make a decision based on what gets you to the next cycle the quickest and in good health.

My heart bleeds for you tonight. It's just too much. I am so sorry this scan did not show a hb at this stage. I pray that the next scan will be different.

 

[gingmg]

Briss I am so incredibly sorry. I have no words to comfort you but please know my heart goes out to you. Its so unfair.

 

[smurfy]

Smurfy, my scan says gestational sac 12 x 9 x 8; yolk sac 1.7 x 1.8 x 2.0; embryo present; I'm not sure what this means but the sonographer said it looks like 5 weeks rather than 6

I stupidly went to gp to register my pregnancy and they are supposed to refer me to a midwife. Maybe she can refer me to a mc management unit?

Yes the gp should be able to help but they will put you directly in touch with local early pregnancy unit to talk through options in detail. Suggest you plan doctors appointment this week to inform them what may happen and hopefully you do this in UK. Ok not sure about sac size but least they told you approx 5 weeks. X

 

[Hope3]

Briss, I've been one of those silently cheering you on from the sidelines. I'm so so sorry for your loss.

I just wanted to say you weren't stupid for registering the pregnancy with the GP. You did what you were supposed to do. Please don't beat yourself up. You were right to see the GP, be happy, have dreams, make plans because that's what pregnant women do.

When I had my early miscarriage I contacted the Miscarriage Association for advice. They're UK based.

Take care of yourself.

 

[BBbliss]

Briss, I'm so terrible sorry for this... I hardly ever come here anymore, after two years of TTC I felt it was time to put my time somewhere else. I was so happy to hear the good news but came back today to make sure things where going well...and...this now, I know how much this hurts, after only two IVFs I had to stop. I do admire your strength in not giving up. I hope the next one is your last one, and all of this will just feel like a bad dream.

 

[Vonn]

Oh, Briss, my heart goes out to you and your DH. I am so sorry to hear this news. You are in my thoughts. For what it's worth, I really do believe you will get your rainbow baby.

 

[Clizard]

Thinking of you Briss.
Whatever happens, don't kick yourself for the joy, excitement, hope and love you felt because of this pregnancy xx

 

[alison29]

I will pray to Briss.

 

[Briss]

Ladies, thank you so much for your support!

it turns out the NHS can be really efficient in certain circumstances. It usually takes for ever to get an appointment with my GP but as soon as I mentioned mc I got one the same day and he immediately called an early pregnancy unit and they booked me for tomorrow morning. He was trying to be positive as well and said it's still a good sign i got pregnant and it means we can have a healthy baby.

I am scared to think about my next EC but somehow I need to get there asap. It helps me cope thinking about our next IVF. I cried a lot yesterday and today and will probably cry more until my next BFP (which I probably won't believe until I see a healthy HB).

I am pretty sure this is due to chromosomes maybe DH's sperm was not good enough or maybe it's my ageing egg. keep thinking about immunes and blood clotting but I doubt it's my issue even though I was not tested. maybe I should get tested just in case but it's so expensive.

DH is back on no beer + tonnes of supps, I reduced my calorie intake but actually since last week I lost a bit of weight anyway and my tummy does not look pregnant anymore. I think baby will take what it needs from me anyway but It will help me cope if I can get my body back. at least something positive to focus my mind on. and it's really easy for me not to eat, I lost appetite completely.

Dh may need to go away and I am trying to get my mum to come over to be with me when it happens. from what I heard and read it can get pretty tough physically I really do not want to be on my own when this happens.

I also read in missed mc cos it may take ages, ladies prefer to take medication to speed up to process. it sounds a bit better than going for an op but on the other hand if you are forcing the body to get rid of it before it's ready it may not do a proper job and you end up going for op anyway. can't decide, hopefully will get some info tomorrow at the hospital.

and obviously as it always happens my friend (who I had my stim IVF with and she got pregnant with twins while I had the bleeding) just gave birth to a girl and a boy. totally happy for her but the timing for the news could not be worse.

 

[Briss]

my update, at the EPU they did a scan and still no HB and the embryo is very small at least a week behind. She looked at my bloods but even through she acknowledged that HcG should be higher and progesterone dropped – not good signs, they do not go by HcG. the theory behind is that placenta cells take up some of HcG so they do not think this is accurate. My German clinic clearly disagrees. Anyway she said they need to wait another week before they can officially diagnose missed mc. so I am due for another scan next week (At least it's free). she said will probably then take another 2 weeks for it to happen naturally and if it does not they will give me some medication to kick start mc or do an op. I asked around and a lot of ladies responded that they had very positive experience with D&C but a few wrote to me privately with horror stories on how this can go horribly wrong. I guess I am taking the risk any way but will probably start with natural and see how it goes.

we decided to still have a little vacation and go to France in between my scans. I could use some rest and fresh air. been crying a lot and am actually quite scared to go through mc.

Jazzbird, do you think Chinese herbs and acu are good options to help with natural mc? I wonder if I should see dr E again and ask for something to help my uterus clean up when the time comes.

 

[terripeachy]

Thanks for the update. At least your EPU clinic is a little more positive even if it does end up that you do have a mc. I"m glad they were able to fit you right in. Your post sounds like you are feeling a lot better too, so I'm happy to read the update. Hopefully next week your report will be even better. My thoughts and prayers are still with you.