Choosing an ob/gyn... help!

[SaraVO]

Let me start by saying I have had prenatal care I just haven't had health insurance to find my regular doctor until yesterday literally. My best friend is a surgical tech and delivers babies well, c-section delivers babies the day I told her I was pregnant she said I have your doctor and I want you at my hospital an hour away from me. I agreed because it's easier than not. I told her I only want a woman looking at my secrets and touching me I've had a man once and I just don't like a man not my husband to touch me. She sent me information on a woman doctor and I agreed but when I make the appointment I have to see another doctor. A Viet nam vet gruff man in his sixties that she keeps telling me is going to roll his eyes at my list of questions and doesn't do great with patients.

Now I'm thinking that I probably will have to have a surgery just because I'm not even five feet tall and all the women close to my size all though I'm the smallest have had to have surgery. But to drive an hour from home and plan an elective surgery so my best friend can deliver the baby and see a doctor that I don't want is just freaking me out. I love her but there is a good hospital five minutes from here that has eight women doctors that I can choose from and I want her there for sure but maybe as my best friend and not the gloved and masked person cutting me apart. And maybe I really do want to try to have the baby normally.

My mom and aunties all went through the attempt to not have c-sections and they have cautioned me against them but to be layed up like that if I don't absolutely have to? Maybe my body can actually do it and maybe I can find a doctor who will let me try. I did call a couple of the doctor's from the hospital down the road and I'm hoping to get a call back today. But it's okay to change my mind right? My husband is going with whatever I want all though he says his preference is for the hospital to be as close as possible he says he will be less worried but the man or woman doctor is up to me even though he doesn't like the idea of my being touched by a man. And he jokes about what does a man know about giving birth. Makes more sense for a woman to talk about it. Are we being sexist?

I know I will irritate her but I can blame my control freak status and Brian says I can tell her he's worried about going that far away this hospital means he could take an hour break at work and show up whenever I have an appointment. I want him there. He is also talking about not being at the delivery he doesn't think he can handle it. Which means I would really want my friend to not be working. My mom is okay but someone needs to keep her calm especially if things don't go smoothly.

I know it's early to be thinking about these things but I can't help it.

 

[xSweetTartx]

What's most important is your own personal comfort. I can not stress this enough. The best advice that I got with my first was to go with my instincts with what I wanted. I was told not to announce on social media that I was in labor because then everyone pesters you or shows up. I was told to pick a hospital and a doctor that I could trust and have a personal relationship with.

That really makes the process so much easier. Some may think being specific about your comfort is silly but you are bringing your child into the world. You have every right to do it how you feel is more comfortable. The less stress you have, the easier it all goes.

You will want to be in an environment with someone who respects your feelings so you feel like you are in control. Tell her how you feel. If she's a good friend, she will understand.

 

[SaraVO]

I haven't talked to my friend but I booked with the new doctor the office is completely women and it sounds really ideal. I'm excited to meet my doctor. I think I'm going to feel really good there.

 

[xSweetTartx]

It's great to be excited!

One of the things I love most about my doctor is that her office is on the hospital campus. They are seriously next door to each other. It helped a lot towards the end of my pregnancy when she had to send me to the hospital for monitoring. I ended up having to induce due to stress levels. They were concerned about my son's heart rate rising from it. I didn't want an induction but being close with my doctor made it easier. She was with me every step of the way.

Hopefully you get the comfort that you are looking for! Pregnancy is a big journey.

 

[SaraVO]

It's great to be excited!

One of the things I love most about my doctor is that her office is on the hospital campus. They are seriously next door to each other. It helped a lot towards the end of my pregnancy when she had to send me to the hospital for monitoring. I ended up having to induce due to stress levels. They were concerned about my son's heart rate rising from it. I didn't want an induction but being close with my doctor made it easier. She was with me every step of the way.

Hopefully you get the comfort that you are looking for! Pregnancy is a big journey.

Yeah this one is too. And it's so close to home. I love that. Thanks so much. I know we can't control our pregnancy the way I would like to but I can at least control who takes care of me.

 

[SaraVO]

Sweet tart. I'm due in April. And I have one sister that works at Dulles and the other one lives right outside of Fredericksburg VA... small world.

 

[xSweetTartx]

If I could control pregnancy, it would go by much faster A friend of mine and I have agreed that we would have tons of babies if pregnancy wasn't so long and hard. Labor is so easy compared to it.

No way! I live in Fredericksburg Not far from Spotsylvania Mall
That is really cool

 

[SaraVO]

If I could control pregnancy, it would go by much faster A friend of mine and I have agreed that we would have tons of babies if pregnancy wasn't so long and hard. Labor is so easy compared to it.
T
No way! I live in Fredericksburg Not far from Spotsylvania Mall
That is really cool

That is really funny I've been in that mall half a dozen times over the years. My little sister grew up in Lake of the Woods and my twin was in Culpeper until three weeks ago.... it's beautiful there.

 

[xSweetTartx]

That is really funny I've been in that mall half a dozen times over the years. My little sister grew up in Lake of the Woods and my twin was in Culpeper until three weeks ago.... it's beautiful there.

My mother and father live in Lake of the Woods I lived there until I was 16. I ended up moving to Stafford with my grandmother because she was really ill. I moved back here after getting married to be closer to my family.

Really small world!

Other than picking an ob, how is your pregnancy going?
This is my second and while I am sicker, it feels easier if that makes sense. I've been through the whole process so I know what to expect. Reeeeallly hoping for a natural labor this time though because Pitocin was not fun I got to deliver vaginally but the contractions were rough.

 

[SaraVO]

That is really funny I've been in that mall half a dozen times over the years. My little sister grew up in Lake of the Woods and my twin was in Culpeper until three weeks ago.... it's beautiful there.

My mother and father live in Lake of the Woods I lived there until I was 16. I ended up moving to Stafford with my grandmother because she was really ill. I moved back here after getting married to be closer to my family.

Really small world!

Other than picking an ob, how is your pregnancy going?
This is my second and while I am sicker, it feels easier if that makes sense. I've been through the whole process so I know what to expect. Reeeeallly hoping for a natural labor this time though because Pitocin was not fun I got to deliver vaginally but the contractions were rough.

Good I think. Morning sickness. I just woke up from a three hour nap. Every day there is a new smell I can't stand. Today it was my own shampoo. Last week pickles turned gross out of nowhere. I'm getting impatient for a baby bump and some movement. I think I feel something and then I think I'm imagining it. I ordered nursery furniture and maternity clothes last week. We are so lost on picking out a name. I know what I want for a girl but I'm too worried my husband will reject it that I haven't told him yet. We find out next week boy or girl I think things will start moving along better then. I told my bosses at work but not my coworkers. I'm just not in a hurry for the attention. I think I'll share when we know a gender. My husband thinks his dad will be disappointed with a girl and that is on my mind a lot. And he is in the garage getting started on building a cradle for the baby. He has his hand written plans. I think we're going to be great.

 

[xSweetTartx]

Good I think. Morning sickness. I just woke up from a three hour nap. Every day there is a new smell I can't stand. Today it was my own shampoo. Last week pickles turned gross out of nowhere. I'm getting impatient for a baby bump and some movement. I think I feel something and then I think I'm imagining it. I ordered nursery furniture and maternity clothes last week. We are so lost on picking out a name. I know what I want for a girl but I'm too worried my husband will reject it that I haven't told him yet. We find out next week boy or girl I think things will start moving along better then. I told my bosses at work but not my coworkers. I'm just not in a hurry for the attention. I think I'll share when we know a gender. My husband thinks his dad will be disappointed with a girl and that is on my mind a lot. And he is in the garage getting started on building a cradle for the baby. He has his hand written plans. I think we're going to be great.

Food aversions are so mean! My little girl apparently does not approve of meat so I've been rather upset about it. My husband loves eating it in front of me to rub it in though. Meany.

The name definitely comes easier after you find out. It was funny with us because we had a girl's name we agreed on and couldn't agree on a boy's name first time around. I ended up having a dream that he was born and I called him Tyler so when I woke up I told my husband and he accepted it immediately. We will be naming our daughter Jasmine.

My dad was disappointed for a day that Tyler was a boy but it didn't last. He wouldn't have it any other way now. Hopefully your father in law is the same no matter the gender. What's most important is a happy and healthy little one

Telling coworkers and all of your friends I find is fun and annoying at the same time. I found that people tend to act like you're a frail thing that can't possibly fend for themselves. My mother in particular acted like me picking up the laundry basket was nuts.

 

[SaraVO]

Just a quick update. I met my doctor today. We did the blood work to check for genetic abnormalities. And I have my next three appointments scheduled with her. My husband already sent the dates to his boss so that he will be available. We heard a heartbeat and I am in good health. We discussed my not wanting a c section and she said that she doesn't know just yet and I am very small. But that she would do everything she could so that I could have a natural childbirth. All in all I really like her, I like everyone in the office even her very peppy obviously a morning person assistant. My insurance is covering a lot more than we thought it would.

It was a good day. My husband and I both feel really good about deciding to stay close to home.

 

[xSweetTartx]

That's awesome! I am glad that it sounds like it's going to go well!