Christening without DH?

[Pearls18]

DS2's christening is booked for this weekend, we have the padre booked, accommodation for family, people have taken time off work, booked train tickets and I've ordered all the party food from M&S and balloons, personalised decorations.

DH is military and been called up to work away on Friday, important stuff absolutely nothing can be done to get him off it.

Do I go ahead with the christening? Or cancel? I'm absolutely gutted I can't put into words, I've been planning this for months, I just can't imagine him not there, it doesn't seem right, but so much time and money has been put into it not just by us, our family live over 4 hours away.

 

[maryp0ppins]

Oh no poor you!
I would probably go ahead with it if family have booked time off work, travel, hotels etc.
That is absolutely gutting

 

[Kay_Baby]

That is terrible but I think at this late stage I would go ahead...

 

[Pearls18]

Thank you both, just to add I know it sounds superficial, hubby isn't religious so I know that side of it isn't really a big deal for him (it is for me) it's just the lack of him in photos I'm gutted about, it's a family day. Why for ONCE can the military not freaking make family time impossible, you can't plan ANYTHING. We were going to go out together by ourselves for the first time in ages as we don't have family around, but nope, RAF comes first. I hate this life sometimes

 

[TwilightAgain]

How absolutely gutting! I honestly don't know what i'd do.

Can the accommodation be cancelled without a fee? (I know some companies allow you to cancel up to a day before). If it can be cancelled, I think I probably would as it wouldn't feel right without my OH.

But if money will be lost i'd probably go ahead with it though i'd be gutted.

Will your OH always work in the military?

 

[Bex84]

that's so difficult, I would go through with it due to late notice to cancel for people. Could you get some nice professional photos done when he is back, so your lo is in christening clothes to commemorate the event. Maybe a photographer could even do photos at the church

 

[supertabby]

Oh that's awful. Our lives often get disrupted by hubby's work, he gets sent abroad at short notice and it's often hard to say no, but it's not as bad as military where you cannot say no. I really feel for you.

At this late stage I would go ahead, people have invested money in hotels and train tickets etc.

When you dh is back you could ask the padre to do a blessing, you could dress up in your christening outfits and invite a few local close friends. Then a small dinner somewhere after.

Also could your dh write something for someone to read out for him, or even video something - so it feels like he's there in a way?

Have you got family who will help you with preparations and clean up after etc, so you're not coping alone?

Good luck!

 

[Lauren25]

Oh no how awful.

Me personally I would think like you and want to cancel for the thought of the pictures etc but I know my OH would make me go ahead with it!

I know it's not the same but when he's back you could always dress up again and have some family photos done!

 

[Eleanor ace]

Oh no! I'm really sorry hun . If the actual service isn't so important to DH, from a religious aspect, could you arrange for family photos to be taken another time? Maybe a family shoot where you could wear your christening outfits and have LO in his christening gown?
I'd keep the christening when it's planned for as it's short notice to cancel and people have made special arrangements to be there, and there's the cost element. Plus it would be nice if there were lots of people to welcome LO into your faith and pledge their support. It is so hard though, so gutting that it isn't able to go to plan

 

[tallybee]

Ah that's shit luck

I'd agree with those that are saying go ahead and then have family pics another time.

x

 

[Abigailly]

Agh no, that's awful.

Similar happened with us for DD's 3rd birthday. We'd booked a small party with a few close friends etc but OH's client called (who invest an awful lot in our company so when they say jump we ask how high) and he had to fly to Milan the day before.

We ended up going ahead with it, DH skyped (maybe ask DH to write a small reading?) and when he got home we did a 'cake smash and present opening' photo shoot.

It means a lot of the memories are from a few days after and honestly, after over a year the photoshoot with DH husband has almost merged itself into the day in my head.

 

[smileyfaces]

I'd go ahead with it as rubbish as it is!

 

[lhancock90]

Aww hun thats horrible
I'd go ahead with it though, and arrange some family pics for when hes home?


xxx

 

[Pearls18]

Thank you so much everyone, I really appreciate having some place to vent and get some sympathetic words, as well as advice.

Well I was all ready to plough on ahead and when I finally got around to asking hubby (I was a bit moody with him for a few hours....even though it's not his fault in the slightest....bless him) and I was surprised to hear him say he really didn't want to miss it, he would even let us use our savings to pay for the money we have lost out on and reimburse people if needed....anyone who knows my hubby will know that is a big deal, it's harder to get into our savings than it is the Crown Jewels

I know it sounds silly but I just didn't think the christening was a big deal to him, but turns out it is and he didn't want to leave me doing all the clearing up, so we have spoken to family and they've all agreed to do it next Sunday, thankfully we have a very understanding family who know our situation. (Because he is going this weekend he can't go next weekend so it *should* be a safe bet, either that or I will be storming into his work myself!)

My lovely family have even kept their accommodation booked so they can still come down and visit me this weekend to keep me company. I've managed to infiltrate the cake maker in time to get her to delay and the same with our balloons. The only loss really is £150 in food and my bunting says May 25th...but I will have my photos I guess!

Still totally frustrated how we can't book ANYTHING, it's so stressful not being able to plan for anything, but then I guess you win some, you lose some.

Thanks again everybody, I really did take your advice on board, if hubby hadn't of been overly bothered I would have carried on but to my surprise he was and thankfully family have been amenable!

 

[lhancock90]

Oh hun i'm happy for you that you've manage to work it all out so everyone's happy

 

[Lauren25]

Aww so glad you've moved it and will be able to get your day all together! Not too much of a loss with money either, could have been worse