Christian, 19, Pregnant, and in need of help

[Newmother9]

Hello. I am needing help coming up with ways to tell my strict Christian parents that I'm pregnant. They've always enforced the belief "sex after marriage" into my life for as long as I can remember, telling me that the man God has for me is watching what I do and might turn away because of anything I do. I am adopted and I have two older brothers who are their biological kids. Anytime I make a mistake or do something wrong, they compare them to us and it hurts. Lately, my eldest brother and his wife are trying to conceive (have been for years now) and I feel that if I tell my parents, it'll steal the light from them. On top of it all, I'm anxious about how I'm going to tell my parents. I live in their home and am going to college right now. I don't have any money to use to move out on because all of it is focused on my car payments or paying back my student loan and I can't get a second job because the only other jobs around are jobs they won't let me work at. I don't even have the dad around anymore. I broke up with him a week before I found out and I don't plan on telling him because he's abusive and I don't want my child growing up with that. I don't know what to do or how to tell them.

 

[Rags]

Oh Newmother, I'm sorry this isn't an ideal start to parenthood for you, you should be able to relax and enjoy your time carrying your little bundle of joy!
Are either of your parents more approachable? You could speak to them and hopefully they would help you break it to the other. Or how about speaking to your brother and his wife and enlisting their help, that way you're not stealing their thunder. If your family are Christian and part of a church community could you speak with the minister?
No one has any right to make comparisons between their children, biological or not! All children are individuals and all have times when they need a little more support. I get the feeling that you are a very strong and capable women, a parents job is to raise a healthy independent adult who can take responsibility for themself and their actions - exactly as you are doing now, I would hope that after the initial shock they show you they are proud of the way you move forward. Good luck.

 

[Heather.1987]

I know it might be scary, but they need to find out sooner than later. Just get it over with, they will eventually find out anyways. Then get in touch with your obgyn and make your first apt. This is a scary time, but a baby is a blessing, no matter the circumstances. Your parents might be disappointed at first, but if they see you as their own, then they will see this baby as theirs too eventually. You may be young, but you got this! If you feel alone, look into some Christian organizations that will help you along with your pregnancy! As a Christian myself, what's done is done, we need to focus on keeping you and baby healthy and safe! Congrats!

 

[lisaalove]

Hey! I agree that if you're Christian there are some pretty cool teen mom organizations out there. One I attended was called young lives. I believe they're in every state (if you are US).

Also, they'll probably be mad but if they are truly religious then they should understand that its in God's plan for you. I don't personally think teaching abstinence is very helpful but to each their own.

I do however suggest finding an OB as soon as possible and starting prenatals! You've got this, I know it can be scary but I think having a child at any age is scary. Lol I still worry what my parents will say each time I tell them I'm pregnant.

 

[JAJuly2013]

I feel for you. I'm a Christian and I'm raising my kids with Christian values. I know it will be hard to tell your parents and they will probably be upset at first...just give them time to soak it in. Jesus loves us and forgives us for our sins...so your parents should forgive you too. All children are a blessing from God. This might not have been Gods original plan for you but He is never surprised as He knows everything from beginning to end. He loves you and so do your parents.
Good luck sweetie and I will add you to my prayers!!

 

[Tropiclands]

Well it is unfortunate that there are parents like yours that struggle with forgiveness, although we all do to a degree. In addition to praying for your parents, do you know anyone who could help mediate a conversation with your parents?