Christian, 19, Pregnant, and in need of help

Discussion in 'Teen Pregnancy' started by Newmother9, Aug 1, 2020.

  1. Newmother9

    Newmother9 New Member

    Aug 1, 2020
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    Hello. I am needing help coming up with ways to tell my strict Christian parents that I'm pregnant. They've always enforced the belief "sex after marriage" into my life for as long as I can remember, telling me that the man God has for me is watching what I do and might turn away because of anything I do. I am adopted and I have two older brothers who are their biological kids. Anytime I make a mistake or do something wrong, they compare them to us and it hurts. Lately, my eldest brother and his wife are trying to conceive (have been for years now) and I feel that if I tell my parents, it'll steal the light from them. On top of it all, I'm anxious about how I'm going to tell my parents. I live in their home and am going to college right now. I don't have any money to use to move out on because all of it is focused on my car payments or paying back my student loan and I can't get a second job because the only other jobs around are jobs they won't let me work at. I don't even have the dad around anymore. I broke up with him a week before I found out and I don't plan on telling him because he's abusive and I don't want my child growing up with that. I don't know what to do or how to tell them.
  2. Rags

    Rags Mother of 1 boy

    Jun 26, 2009
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    Oh Newmother, I'm sorry this isn't an ideal start to parenthood for you, you should be able to relax and enjoy your time carrying your little bundle of joy!
    Are either of your parents more approachable? You could speak to them and hopefully they would help you break it to the other. Or how about speaking to your brother and his wife and enlisting their help, that way you're not stealing their thunder. If your family are Christian and part of a church community could you speak with the minister?
    No one has any right to make comparisons between their children, biological or not! All children are individuals and all have times when they need a little more support. I get the feeling that you are a very strong and capable women, a parents job is to raise a healthy independent adult who can take responsibility for themself and their actions - exactly as you are doing now, I would hope that after the initial shock they show you they are proud of the way you move forward. Good luck.
    noon_child and Newmother9 like this.
  3. Heather.1987

    Heather.1987 Well-Known Member

    Jul 18, 2012
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    I know it might be scary, but they need to find out sooner than later. Just get it over with, they will eventually find out anyways. Then get in touch with your obgyn and make your first apt. This is a scary time, but a baby is a blessing, no matter the circumstances. Your parents might be disappointed at first, but if they see you as their own, then they will see this baby as theirs too eventually. You may be young, but you got this! If you feel alone, look into some Christian organizations that will help you along with your pregnancy! As a Christian myself, what's done is done, we need to focus on keeping you and baby healthy and safe! Congrats!
    Newmother9 likes this.
  4. lisaalove

    lisaalove Well-Known Member

    Aug 12, 2014
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    Hey! I agree that if you're Christian there are some pretty cool teen mom organizations out there. One I attended was called young lives. I believe they're in every state (if you are US).

    Also, they'll probably be mad but if they are truly religious then they should understand that its in God's plan for you. I don't personally think teaching abstinence is very helpful but to each their own.

    I do however suggest finding an OB as soon as possible and starting prenatals! You've got this, I know it can be scary but I think having a child at any age is scary. Lol I still worry what my parents will say each time I tell them I'm pregnant.

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