Have you ever watched a movie about Fort Knox? If so, youve seen the huge chunks of gold stacked floor to ceiling surrounded by armed guards with really sour looks on their faces. What if I offered you a stack of these golden chunks? I dont mean one or two. I mean a stack so huge that it would take an armored car to get it to your house. Id even throw in a couple of the sour-faced guards in with the deal.
Heres the catch! You have to choose whether to accept my gift of all this gold or choose to remain in your current battle with infertility. If you take the gold, your infertility fight will end and you will conceive as easily as anyone else. If you refuse the gold and instead accept the gift of remaining infertile, the gold will return to Fort Knox and youll not see it again. I realize that you probably think Im either crazy, or that Im typing this Daily Double Portion at 3AM and have gotten myself really confused. This is not a typo! You choose the gift of gold and you lose the infertility. You choose the gift of infertility and you lose the gold. Whats it going to be?
Ill bet you didnt even have to consider your answer, did you? Id take the gold! Give me perfect fertility and Ill throw these ovulation predictors away!
What a mistake that would be! Do you realize that the trial you face with infertility is teaching you precious lessons that God can use for the rest of your life? This season, though it is a most difficult one, is producing in you gifts more precious than gold? Read with me in the book of 1 Peter:
In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ;
1 Peter 1:6-7
In the midst of your fight to be a mother, its hard to find any joy in infertility. If you cried yourself to sleep last night it may feel impossible to you today to think of rejoicing through such sorrow. But friend, this trial that seems to envelope you and your precious husband will shape and mold your faith in a way nothing else can.
Id like you to do something if you will. Journal a description of your faith today. Dont try to make it sound like something its not. If your faith is strong, describe it as such. If you feel like the weakest of the weak in the arena of faith, be honest about it. Tell how your faith helps you cope when you start a period. What happens to your faith when another cousin conceives? What about those times when it feels like your faith failed you? Write it out and save it somewhere youll be able to find it later.
When your struggle with infertility is completed, and you hold your baby in your arms, or you hold childless contentment close to your heart, find that journaled story again. Read the story of your faith. Remind yourself what it was like for you today when you were devastated at every period. You'll realize that after your struggle with infertility your faith has grown. Read again what it felt like when your heart questioned Gods plan. Youll realize that as you learned to trust Him through the babyless months and years, part of His plan has become clearer to you. Then take an account of your faith in your new life, post-infertility. I guarantee youll find a stronger, deeper more mature faith. Youll be amazed at how God works through these crucial events you face today.
Life can seem impossible for you to bear sometimes. Maybe today is one of those time. If it is, just hold on, friend. God finds it necessary for a little while, to allow you to be distressed by the trials you face. He hasnt forgotten you. Hes just shaping you. This trial will prove your faith, which is more precious that all the gold Fort Knox has ever held. Youll stand in awe of Gods work one day. And youll rejoice.
i'm still so sad and i have prayed about it, and want to start trying again...
