Christian ladies TTC, we can encourage one another.

[Godsjewel]

We have laid the groundwork for several great changes to take place in this new year! Writing out our requests and praises in a prayer journal. (Habakkuk 2:2) Falling more and more in love with God’s living, active Word. (Hebrews 4:12) Embracing a true view of God. (1 John 4:16) What a difference this could make in your life as you face infertility and the barrage of issues that life throws at you. Knowing God, having a literal record of His workings in your life, written by your own hand and pairing what you believing with the inspired Word of God. What power in such simplicity. These simple changes can really make a magnificent change in 2013.

What do you think God thinks of you? When God hears your name what does His heart feel? When He looks at your face, when He hears the prayer you cry out to Him at night, what emotion rises up in Him? Have you ever really thought about it? You probably know how your spouse feels about you. If you have a pet, you definitely know what your “fur-baby” feels about you! But how does the omnipotent Creator of Heaven and Earth feel about you?

Whether you realize it or not, infertility can play a role in how you answer this question. Even though I don’t sit next to you as you open this email and read these words, I’ll bet most of you didn’t break out into a huge smile, turn to whomever was closest to you and start bubbling over with pure joy as you began describing how you think the King of kings feels about you. If you are a Christian you know that God sent His Son to die on a cross for you sins. There must be love for you in His heart. But He made that sacrifice a long time before you found yourself weeping through the night because your womb and your nursery are silent. He made His eternal profession of love for you long before you fell apart the last time your pastor dedicated the sweet, little newborn at a packed Sunday service. Do your tears and wounded faith cause God’s love for you to wane?

Once again, we point you back to God’s Word. God is very plain in how He feels about you and your tears. If you think God is ready to give up on you, or that His love for you has been diminished by infertility’s presence in your life, think again. Your tears will never be enough to extinguish the fiery love God holds in His heart for you. In fact, examine the story of Lazarus’ death to see Christ’s reaction to hurting people. Did He shy away from a broken heart? On the contrary! Jesus’ tears mingled with Mary’s as she wept at her brother’s grave. Many people think Jesus wept because Lazarus died, but that’s simply not true. Jesus wept because someone He loved was hurting. (When Jesus therefore saw her [Mary] weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and was troubled, and said, "Where have you laid him?" They said to Him, "Lord, come and see." Jesus wept. John 11:33-35) If infertility causes your heart to hurt, then you can rest assured that Heaven weeps with you and God’s tears are mingling with your own. Does this sound like a God who tires of your tears?

That’s not the only reaction God has when you are on His heart and mind. Zephaniah 3:17 says “The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." God’s heart bursts with joy over you and when He can contain Himself no longer He breaks out in joyous songs! Wouldn’t you love to hear Him sing? I would! I imagine Him having the deepest, richest, fullest voice I could ever imagine, and to hear this magnificent voice booming out over time and eternity, singing with joy--over me? A concept I can hardly wrap my mind around!

If you have struggled with your image of how God views you, please commit Zephaniah 3:17 to memory. When you feel as if you are losing the emotional battle in the infertility war, remember God loves you and rejoices over you with singing. Even if you have collapsed in a puddle of tears at the news of someone else’s pregnancy and felt ridiculous asking God for help, know that He still rejoices over you and nothing will ever be able to separate you from the love He holds for you. When you weep, His tears mingle with your own. You are important enough that He was willing to orchestrate the death of His only Son to provide you with a way to be with Him for all of eternity. Jesus loves you enough that He knew He would rather die than live without you. Not even infertility could ever change that.

If you have struggled with how God must view you as you face infertility, why not commit to changing your idea of how God views you in 2013. Realize your worth in your Heavenly Father’s eyes. Listen carefully! You may just hear Him singing!

-Beth Forbus

 

[QueenKingfish]

I've posted a few times, been a lurker, avoided the site altogether when I was trying to reconcile my frustration and disappointment. Now I'm back with a renewed spirit and I feel like someone needs to hear what's been going on in our TTC journey.

Let's start with a little backstory. I'm 29, DH is 32. I am the only living bio-child born of my mother (10 pregnancies, 10 - I was a twin). Lost my birth father last November, just 2.5 months after we got married and I had my IUD (Mirena) removed. COMPLETELY thought I was pregnant that month - I was 8 days late. I wasn't. We've spent the past year NTNP, but in my mind I've been TTC. Had 2 or 3 months where I KNEW I was PG, alas, that was not the case. We are now in active TTC mode (praise Jesus for late-night heart-to-hearts at Christmas!).

Most of the time, I'm a SAHW, but I am a part of our church's staff as the Director of our Drama Ministry, as well as filling in for the Office Manager when she's sick or on vacation and DH and I teach classes in the Marriage Ministry. In October, I started praying for God to give me a clear-cut sign whether or not we were going to be parents - I had told no one, not even DH. I went with the rest of the staff to our District Pastors Conference.

The last night of that conference, during worship, the emcee stopped our voices and said we were going to have some prophetic prayer time. We turned to the people next to us, paired off, and started letting the Holy Spirit use us as vessels. My prayer partner and I were raised in very non-pentecostal religious settings, so we giggled to each other that if this didn't work, we were sorry that we got stuck with the "defects" in the crowd. As we started to pray, that sweet woman started crying and said, "Oh, God! I feel this child is so close! God wants you to know that he hears your prayers and he is going to give you the desires of your heart soon!" *cue *

Of course, we all know that our "soon" is sometimes very different from His "soon." Every month, I keep reminding myself of that, trying to hold-fast to the promise of His word. I was diagnosed with estrogen dominance/low progesterone this month after a year of trying to figure out what was off in my body. I'm pretty stoked to finally have a diagnosis that explains SO many things, acne, facial hair, bouts of depression, mood swings, severe PMS symptoms (that the former OB/GYN nurse in me tends to turn into PG symptoms) and weight gain around my tummy, hips and thighs.

I played Mary this Christmas Eve. Fake bump and all. Awkward... One of my mentors came up to me after the service and told me she'd had a vision of me being pregnant while I was up there. DH was a bit freaked out because this woman's visions have been proven correct time and time again. The look on his face was CLASSIC! This all came as I was starting to doubt what had been spoken to me - I love those "confirmation corrections" He sends.

I guess what I'm trying to say with all of this is to pray with a purpose. Ask for the desires of your heart by name. Claim them in the name of Jesus. Yes, we want to remain in His will, but praying "IF it's Your will, Father" all of the time is kind of a cop-out. I used that to blame God for it not happening. That's where bitterness sets in, and we get separated from our Creator, Father, Savior and Friend. The things that happened in Acts can still happen, and are still happening today. We have victory in Christ Jesus. Hold tight to that, ladies!

 

[No Doubt]

Queen what a blessing! I am so happy to hear that! God knows just what you need when you need it, and isn't it amazing how He will use anyone, even people like you and your prayer partner who were really all that familiar with that setting. He is a miracle worker! And just when you start to doubt just a little, He sends reassurance! That just sends chills up my spine! Our God is so good and I thank the Lord for blessing each and every one of us in our own special way and that He is big enough to accommodate all of our needs individually, one by one! Yes, speak thing with a boldness and declare them just the same. Believe and see how the Lord moves! God I give you praise!

 

[VGibs]

I am praying so hard for such a message to be delivered to me. Not about TTC mind you, I have been praying for some kind of sign and signal or message about where I am supposed to be attending church and helping me find some direction. I hope I get a message like yours! You are so lucky to have been given answers like that!

 

[QueenKingfish]

I am praying so hard for such a message to be delivered to me. Not about TTC mind you, I have been praying for some kind of sign and signal or message about where I am supposed to be attending church and helping me find some direction. I hope I get a message like yours! You are so lucky to have been given answers like that!

I know how blessed I am to have such audible confirmation, but that's only come because I've asked for it as such. Be sure to be reading your bible - I think that's made all of the difference in how I pray and (more importantly) how I stop and listen. Having a church home that I love is a huge part of how my faith has grown in the past few years - I'll be praying you find yours soon!

 

[No Doubt]

Agreed! I definitely think listening is a big part of it too. And may not always be so clear, but that's why it's important to be stay in the word and in prayer so we can stay linked and not miss important messages!.

I will be praying you find your church home as well. We went through that after moving here three years ago and we recently joined back in September. We fell out and it only made it harder to find somewhere, but once we really started trying to find a home and praying about it even reading the bible together it changed and became really easy.

 

[Proserpina]

That is some great news! How awesome to be able to contribute to a book! You will definitely have to share it with us when the time comes

When the book is out, I may do that. Right now I'm hesitant to give out too much about my real-life identity, but that may change by the end of the year when the book is due out.

I have other good news: a philosophy professor also contacted me about working out an RA/TA appointment. I'm meeting with him on Monday, though the biblical studies professor has moved up our appointment to Tuesday.

Boo! I'm sorry you're having to deal with an unpleasant landlady, I pray the Lord softens her heart and His will be done in this situation, even if that does mean moving. God will work it all out, sis!

Thanks, GJ. She didn't respond to our "no we will not pay your rent hike, that is illegal" letter, even though I know she got it, so I'm hoping that means she'll back down. Though it could mean she is regrouping and checking her legal options. Only time will tell.

I have been experiencing a lot of fatigue these past few days. Took an afternoon nap yesterday and today, even though I got plenty of sleep. I really hope it means I'm pregnant, though I'd be a little surprised if I conceived after just one cycle at my age.

Well, my family is going on a retreat this weekend with my local congregation. I hope it is restful.

 

[beckysprayer]

I am praying so hard for such a message to be delivered to me. Not about TTC mind you, I have been praying for some kind of sign and signal or message about where I am supposed to be attending church and helping me find some direction. I hope I get a message like yours! You are so lucky to have been given answers like that!

I will be praying for you to receive such a message as well! Praying for direction for you on which church is the one for you.

The appointment went great! We were there for almost 2 hrs, the Doctor was extremely nice and made me feel very comfortable.

We talked about my history and he apologized that I had to go through so much. He said with my age, I have between a 40-45% of conception.

I have to go for a physical on the 14th and then they will put me on birth control for 3 weeks, yup...birth control..lol! This will help control my cycle and the earliest we can do the IVF is the end of Feb beginning of March.

That's good because I need to get back to eating healthy and working out

So glad to hear this! I will be praying for you and can't wait to hear about what you are doing and, eventually, the best news ever.

I'm glad the fertility appointment went well, GJ. I hope it works out for you. I have known some couples who were told they would never have children who had some miracle babies, so with a 40%-45% chance of conception, you're already ahead of them.

My day has had ups and downs. The ups: I have an appointment with a professor on Monday to discuss being taken on as a research assistant or teaching assistant for biblical studies, which would complete my field education. I was also offered a contract to contribute a chapter to a book, which is totally exciting.

The downs: my landlady is trying to (illegally) hike my rent again. I am going to stand my ground and tell her we won't pay it. She can be quite the bully when she doesn't get her way, but she treats us horribly and I'm tired of letting her push us around. This could end with us moving in the next few months, which I don't want to do (I don't want to possibly disrupt my daughter's school year), but will if she keeps up.

That is very exciting about the book your are contributing to! I hope you feel comfortable enough to share with us what it is when it comes out, even if through PM, though I completely understand if you don't. How exciting though! Sorry to hear about your landlady, I hope that part gets straightened out and for the better soon.

AFM, I have the best news that simply couldn't wait until after church. I got a this morning! I'm so excited and am praying this one is a healthy, strong little baby that I will be able to meet in September!

 

[VGibs]

OH PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!! That is so great Becky! *I hope thats your name, as it says in your username haha*

 

[VGibs]

PRAISE HIM!

 

[HisGrace]

Congratulations Becky!!! This is wonderful news. Praise God!!!

 

[No Doubt]

Congrats beck! So happy for you! Such a blessing your little miracle!

 

[Praying4bump]

Congrats Becky!

 

[SuperwomanTTC]

AFM, I have the best news that simply couldn't wait until after church. I got a this morning! I'm so excited and am praying this one is a healthy, strong little baby that I will be able to meet in September!

Praise God!!!! Congratulations and may you have a happy, healthy, and blessed pregnancy!

 

[Godsjewel]

AFM, I have the best news that simply couldn't wait until after church. I got a this morning! I'm so excited and am praying this one is a healthy, strong little baby that I will be able to meet in September!

Woohoo!!! That is the best news I've heard all day....Thank you Lord for blessing my sis with her heart's desire.

My heart is truly filled with joy!

Please keep us updated

BTW- September is a wonderful month, that's when I was born

 

[BabyT2013]

Hi ladies-

I heard a wonderful message this morning about what the pastor described as holy waiting. This is not your everyday, run of the mill waiting like waiting in line at the grocery, or sitting at a stop light. This is the type of waiting that literally makes your soul ache. He described it as a wait for a positive job change or the desire to rebuild a relationship when the ball is in someone else's court. Clearly, as this message went on, I could see the waiting for a blessed little baby as a holy waiting. This holy waiting can be painful, make us angry, frustrated, or we may want to just give up. But through our trust in the Lord, we are blessed. God blesses us even before our holy waiting begins and sets us apart from others saying we are highly esteemed in his kingdom. As we travel through our waiting, we feel the pain and ache of that waiting until our soul is transformed.

I believe that God has blessed each and every one of us who are on our holy waiting journey. Through this wait, our constant faith in our God, our soul can be transformed. It will be transformed the moment he blesses us with little ones of our own.

So that's what I learned in church today. I also learned that 26 high schoolers in a small room is STINKY, but that what i learned as a youth volunteer. Bless you all on this day of epiphany. Hope you all have a great week!

 

[Godsjewel]

Hi ladies-

I heard a wonderful message this morning about what the pastor described as holy waiting. This is not your everyday, run of the mill waiting like waiting in line at the grocery, or sitting at a stop light. This is the type of waiting that literally makes your soul ache. He described it as a wait for a positive job change or the desire to rebuild a relationship when the ball is in someone else's court. Clearly, as this message went on, I could see the waiting for a blessed little baby as a holy waiting. This holy waiting can be painful, make us angry, frustrated, or we may want to just give up. But through our trust in the Lord, we are blessed. God blesses us even before our holy waiting begins and sets us apart from others saying we are highly esteemed in his kingdom. As we travel through our waiting, we feel the pain and ache of that waiting until our soul is transformed.

I believe that God has blessed each and every one of us who are on our holy waiting journey. Through this wait, our constant faith in our God, our soul can be transformed. It will be transformed the moment he blesses us with little ones of our own.

So that's what I learned in church today. I also learned that 26 high schoolers in a small room is STINKY, but that what i learned as a youth volunteer. Bless you all on this day of epiphany. Hope you all have a great week!

Amen! Thanks for taking time to share this with us. I just recently grasped ahold of that, that God has something amazing for me in my waiting. It has been wonderful growing closer to Him and being able to minister to others during the wait. I know this was all planned out according to His perfect will.

 

[QueenKingfish]

Praise Jesus for your , Becky! What a fabulous thing to be able to praise about on Sunday morning!

 

[Godsjewel]

Today we will wrap up our discussion of changes we can make in this new year to help us in our struggle with infertility. Many people have gone back to work and back to the day to day routines of life. Some have already forgotten their new year’s resolutions and have fallen back into old habits. Some never made an effort to break the destructive patterns in the first place! Today, I encourage you to make a change in how you view your infertility.

How have you looked at your inability to conceive? There is no doubt it is a devastating life crisis. For those who have never experienced the crushing blow of an infertility diagnosis, delayed or denied pregnancy may seem like little more than a passing inconvenience. However, for those who live in infertility’s shadow every moment of every day, baby hunger can be an all-consuming dread and heartache. Is it a punishment? Is infertility God’s way of letting you know you have wronged Him? Has God chosen to show His anger or disappointment in you by closing your womb tighter than Fort Knox? How should you view your infertility?

Go with me to the days of the Old Testament and take a seat next to our sister in waiting, Hannah. Let me tell you, she would be more than qualified to lead our support group this month! She cried buckets and buckets of tears as she begged God for a baby, yet no baby came. She watched others around her conceive. She even watched her husband’s other wife conceive babies for her own husband, and raise his children in her home. Can you imagine seeing a pregnant woman in your home, bearing children for your husband? As she wept in the temple, petitioning God for a pregnancy, she was accused of being drunk. Hannah understood all the frustrating aspects of infertility.

Here’s the point: In 1 Samuel 1 where the story of Hannah is shared with us, there are two separate occasions where we see the phrase “the LORD had closed her womb”. There is no question as to why Hannah was not a mother. The answer is clear: the Lord closed her womb! If the Lord closes your womb, it is closed. Hannah’s infertility was not an accident. God did it on purpose. The first time I really paid attention to this phrase, I must admit, it made me mad! I wanted to believe that Hannah was having a problem conceiving and that God rushed in like a knight on a white stallion and saved the day. Wrong! God closed her womb. He did it on purpose! I didn’t want to believe that God did this to her? Why? Because if God did this to her, maybe He did this to me, too.

But wait! Here’s the good part. If God did this on purpose, then Hannah’s infertility--and yours--must have a great purpose! I don’t believe God allows something as life changing as infertility to haphazardly interrupt the flow of someone’s life for absolutely no reason. We know infertility doesn’t catch an omniscient God by surprise. I believe infertility in your life has a holy purpose. God will use it to reach you and to teach you things you never could have learned outside of infertility’s classroom.

Even before the conception and birth of Samuel, Hannah praised God through her trials and dark days. Was that the lesson she learned? Was that the purpose? Maybe we can ask her one day. Her story has strengthened untold millions of infertile women through the centuries. That would be a great purpose for what she went through. Who know what all God did through her battle with infertility. Who knows what He’ll do with yours!
Change your view of infertility. Don’t let the enemy convince you that it is something that has happened to you because God is angry with you or that He has forgotten you. Infertility has a purpose. God will use it in ways you can never imagine today.

-Beth Forbus

 

[Proserpina]

That is very exciting about the book your are contributing to! I hope you feel comfortable enough to share with us what it is when it comes out, even if through PM, though I completely understand if you don't. How exciting though! Sorry to hear about your landlady, I hope that part gets straightened out and for the better soon.

Thanks. I will let you all know when the book is out. The landlady hasn't responded to our letter refusing to pay higher rent. I hope that means she's backing down.

I had a great time @ the retreat this weekend. The word God gave me to live into this year was "joy," & I'm very excited about that. More on that later.

Big congratulations on your BFP! I had a very vivid dream on Friday night/Saturday morning where my doctor told me I was pregnant. I was so excited about the dream that I broke my rule about early testing & tested yesterday, but it was BFN. I'm only 10 dpo today though, so I'm not out for the month just yet. Would so love a September baby.