Christian ladies TTC, we can encourage one another.

Hi ladies, just wanted to check in really quick. I noticed there are some new ladies here...welcome! God has led you here and I pray that you are as blessed as I have been and the other ladies have been as well.

Also I know some of you are having a hard time right now. I haven't had the opportunity to type anything, but I am praying for all of you and I pray that God comforts your hearts. Be sure to always trust in the Lord and He will always see you through!

GJ I've been keeping up with your progress, really excited for you and this upcoming IVF! How is your mom?

Take care ladies!

Hi sweetheart :hugs:

My mom is good, she said she prays for you all and gets a little confused on the ttc lingo :haha:

How is Virtue doing?
 
Virtue is doing really well. He's sleeping right now...surprisingly, lol. Its time for him too eat, but he's still asleep so I'll wake him in a few. Growing like a weed already. So far I've left him with my mil twice for all of 15 mins. That was really hard for me, lol. But things are going well, thanks for asking!
 
Hi ladies, just wanted to check in really quick. I noticed there are some new ladies here...welcome! God has led you here and I pray that you are as blessed as I have been and the other ladies have been as well.

Also I know some of you are having a hard time right now. I haven't had the opportunity to type anything, but I am praying for all of you and I pray that God comforts your hearts. Be sure to always trust in the Lord and He will always see you through!

GJ I've been keeping up with your progress, really excited for you and this upcoming IVF! How is your mom?

Take care ladies!

Hi sweetheart :hugs:

My mom is good, she said she prays for you all and gets a little confused on the ttc lingo :haha:

How is Virtue doing?

Hi...lol... I am overwhelmed and confused at times..trying to figure out who answered what.. who's doing what.. etc.. So I came to see what is going on and my prayers are here for ALL who are going through different seasons of their lives... God's got it.. even if we don't get it.. So nice to have each other tho.. right? On talking to some of my friends I am now aware how so many have MC their babies I was like WOW had no clue...My best friend and one of my Cousins did too... GOD is faithful just the same!!! God bless you all...:hugs:
 
OH! That's Sarah's Mom!!! lol I was confused there for a minute but then I saw the picture. Hi Sarah's Mom!
 
...God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.
1 Corinthians 10:13

When I was about eight years old, I went on a road trip with my mom through the mountains of Tennessee. I remember sitting in the front seat feeling like such a grown up. As I am a child of the 70’s, I remember the crackling of the CB radio as truckers carried on their lively conversations and warnings of “smokeys” hiding in their speed traps.

We were coming down the side of a mountain on skinny, curvy roads as I noticed that my mom was driving much faster than normal. She would take the curves without slowing down and it really became frightening. What was happening? There was an 18-wheeler just behind our car that had lost its brakes and was barreling down that mountain out of control. Truckers were talking my mom down the mountain as she had no way to get out of the path of the truck behind her. “There’s a huge curve to your right just ahead of you! Get ready!” “Just another mile and you’ll be off the mountain! Hang on, lady!” It was utterly terrifying. My mom never said a word to me as I peppered her with questions. She just gripped her steering wheel and prayed.

Finally, we saw the most beautiful sight we had ever seen in our entire lives. That dirt road leading up the side of the mountain was more glorious than any sunset, mansion or diamond ring we had ever seen. Why? It was the way of escape for the out-of-control truck behind us. When the trucker rounded that curve in the road and saw an empty escape route, he turned his steering wheel to the right and plowed his way up the dirt path. The incline and deep sand in the escape route slowed his truck to a stop. My mom was able to slow down and safely drive us the rest of the way down the mountain.

Infertility is hard. You certainly don’t need me to tell you that. It sometimes feels like your emotions are so out of control, that you simply cannot take the frustration any more. You get a bad report from the doctor, or you get another invitation to a baby shower in the mail just as you get off the phone with your newly pregnant sister-in-law. You just don’t know how much more of this you can take. You’ve been told time and again that God has a plan for your life, and that He will work through this situation, but you’re just not sure you can hang on long enough for Him to do the work. Has God pushed you to limits beyond what you can bear?

No, friend. He promises to never give you more of a burden than you can bear. It’s written in black and white, and found in 1 Corinthians 10:13. The word, “temptation” is really quite an interesting word. The literal meaning is “adversity, affliction, trouble: sent by God and serving to test or prove one's character, faith, holiness”. God will not allow more adversity, affliction or trouble to come into your life than what you are able to bear. He may push you right up to the limit of what you can stand, but He’ll never allow more than you can survive. When you feel like the burden is too heavy, and you are about to give in to the pressure, look around you. God promises a way of escape. Perhaps it will be found in the encouragement of a supportive friend. Maybe your pastor will deliver a sermon that speaks directly to your heart and the specific struggle you face. It may even come in a good doctor’s report, or just a stress-free date with your spouse. Look around you. God promises a way of escape when you feel like giving up.

God doesn’t allow tests and trials like infertility to come into your life because He likes to see you suffer. Don’t you know that He loves you, and hurts right along with you? So why does He allow it? They prove your character. Trials overcome make a shining example of faith and holiness.

Perhaps you need to hear it from a fellow sufferer of long ago. Surely there were days that Job felt like giving up. Surely he felt like he couldn’t take the hurt any more. Surely he wondered if God really did have a plan for him. Perhaps his escape route came in the form of a deep abiding belief that good things were around the bend. Read the words he shares with you today

But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. (Job 23:10)

When your struggle with infertility gets the hardest, and you feel tempted to give up on God and His plan, just hold on, lady! God will provide a way of escape for you. And when He has tested you, you will come forth as gold.

-Beth Forbus
 
Thank you so much for your message today, GJ. DH and I were talking about passing through God's refining fires just yesterday as AF arrived after a long and hard TWW. Despite having all the signs that I had conceived, our hopes had been dashed against the rocks and I lost all hope. But as always, my loving husband held tight to me and to God, and together we cried and prayed and sung His praises.

It is so very hard to go through these fires, even knowing that because of them we will grow in the Spirit and press closer to the Lord. It is incredibly comforting to be reminded of his promise not to give us more than we can handle. I'm scheduled for an HSG on Tuesday to see where the Essure coils are and contacting a surgical center to discuss having the procedure reversed. Even after the reversal Man would say my chances aren't high of becoming pregnant. But with God I know it is inevitable, in His time. He promised me that the daggers would be removed and that I am not damaged merchandise, that I am being made new. I am trying to learn to trust in that.
 
Teared up reading today's installment. First cycle I didn't cry at the start of AF. I'm sad that last month didn't end in a BFP. Praying optimistically for this coming cycle.

Please pray for us. July 3-8 we're with his parents. We're going to break the news to them about our struggles. My family knows, but overall there hasn't been a ton of support from that side (Mom takes the "just quit trying and it will happen approach and doesn't seem overly concerned that I may have imbalances/medical issues; sister who is normally my support doesn't know what to say anymore).

We know it took his mom a few years before my DH came along (they were married in 72, hubs didn't come along until 80), then there was a miscarriage between him and his brother in 82. Not sure if there's anything that would have to do with his side on that part, but perhaps they can share a little and be a bit more understanding. His dad is agnostic, though; so, we're praying this can be just another part of our testimony before him.
 
Thank you so much for your message today, GJ. DH and I were talking about passing through God's refining fires just yesterday as AF arrived after a long and hard TWW. Despite having all the signs that I had conceived, our hopes had been dashed against the rocks and I lost all hope. But as always, my loving husband held tight to me and to God, and together we cried and prayed and sung His praises.

It is so very hard to go through these fires, even knowing that because of them we will grow in the Spirit and press closer to the Lord. It is incredibly comforting to be reminded of his promise not to give us more than we can handle. I'm scheduled for an HSG on Tuesday to see where the Essure coils are and contacting a surgical center to discuss having the procedure reversed. Even after the reversal Man would say my chances aren't high of becoming pregnant. But with God I know it is inevitable, in His time. He promised me that the daggers would be removed and that I am not damaged merchandise, that I am being made new. I am trying to learn to trust in that.

Praise God, I'm glad that message touched your heart and that you have a wonderful, supportive husband.

I will keep you in my prayers and can't wait to see how God is going to move in your situation :hugs:
 
Teared up reading today's installment. First cycle I didn't cry at the start of AF. I'm sad that last month didn't end in a BFP. Praying optimistically for this coming cycle.

Please pray for us. July 3-8 we're with his parents. We're going to break the news to them about our struggles. My family knows, but overall there hasn't been a ton of support from that side (Mom takes the "just quit trying and it will happen approach and doesn't seem overly concerned that I may have imbalances/medical issues; sister who is normally my support doesn't know what to say anymore).

We know it took his mom a few years before my DH came along (they were married in 72, hubs didn't come along until 80), then there was a miscarriage between him and his brother in 82. Not sure if there's anything that would have to do with his side on that part, but perhaps they can share a little and be a bit more understanding. His dad is agnostic, though; so, we're praying this can be just another part of our testimony before him.

Hi Sweetie :hugs:

It's hard to share the details of your struggles with others, especially when they aren't very encouraging. That is one of the quotes I hate the most, "just relax, it will happen". Hmmm, let me see...I've been relaxed for 5 years and it still hasn't happened.

It's sad that people tend to be insensitive and I know they aren't trying to be, it's mostly because they are not fully aware of what infertility does to a person. I pray that your in-laws will be more of an encouragement for you.

Yes, you never know why God has you wait and shining your light before his father may be part of the bigger picture.

Please let us know how things go, you will be in my prayers.
 
I have not yet reached my goal, and I am not perfect. But Christ has taken hold of me. So I keep on running and struggling to take hold of the prize. My friends, I don't feel that I have already arrived. But I forget what is behind, and I struggle for what is ahead. 14I run toward the goal, so that I can win the prize of being called to heaven. This is the prize that God offers because of what Christ Jesus has done.
Philippians 3:12-14 (Contemporary English Version)

What errands do you need to run today? Have you got to go to the store? Maybe you have a doctor’s appointment. Are you running late for work? Imagine what it would be like if you had to drive your car down the road looking only in the rear-view mirror!.

What would happen? You would crash into another car or a tree. At the very least your car would be destroyed, but there is a high likelihood that you would be injured. You could even injure someone else. You would never get where you need to go, nor would you be able to get everything done that you need to do. You simply cannot travel down the road looking only behind you.

If you have experienced the mind-numbing devastation of the loss of a baby, the thought of another pregnancy can be terrifying. If you have conceived following a miscarriage, you may be tempted to look back at your previous tragedy in horrifying anticipation of another loss. Rather than basking in the joy of a baby on the way, you compare every twinge, every thought, every movement or lack thereof to the pregnancy when your baby was lost. Your heart keeps looking back to the memory of the pregnancy that failed.

Perhaps you’ve done the same thing with infertility. You invested so much emotional energy in your attempt to get pregnant. You fought the fear and tried your best to boost your faith enough to believe God for a healthy pregnancy. Then the negative pregnancy test came. You grieved the loss of the baby that could have been, and you just don’t know if you can go through this again. You can’t seem to do anything but look back at all the failed attempts to conceive.

Just as it is impossible to drive by only looking in your rear-view mirror, you cannot go through your life down this journey toward parenthood only looking behind you at the past failures to conceive or to carry a baby to term. Satan will use the situations you have faced in your past to cloak you in fear and dread, and will convince you that God does not have good things in store for you. Philippians 3:12-14 admonishes us to forget the things that are behind us, and press toward the prize before us. Do not let yourself get so consumed with the months gone by when you were not able to conceive that you forget that God is still able to lead you to the desires of your heart. Take the time you need to grieve the loss of the pregnancy that did not occur, but get your eyes ahead of you and believe that God really does have a great plan for your future.

This is not to say that a rear-view mirror has no use. You have to glance behind you from time to time to see where you’ve come from. Don’t ever forget to look back and see where God has brought you from. Look back at the victories He has given. Remember the days you did not think you would survive the stress and strain you were under, yet God brought you through each and every one. Glance into the rear-view mirror of your life to see the victories God has brought you through, but turn your eyes to your future, and envision where God is taking you.

(Allow me to clear one thing up. If you have lost a baby, do not think that this Scripture encourages you to forget your baby. Not at all. You will never forget the precious baby that inhabited your womb, even if only for a few days. That baby was a part of you and your spouse and was created in the image of God Almighty. How could you ever forget someone that precious?)

When you sit down in your vehicle today, glance at your rear-view mirror and be reminded of God’s grace in bringing through every heartache, every difficulty you’ve ever faced. Let that mirror be a constant reminder of the goodness of your Heavenly Father. But don’t stop there. Look ahead through your windshield. Let the road in front of you encourage you that God still has places to take you, and works to be done in your life.

-Beth Forbus
 
It's very hard for me to write this post, but I feel that I deserve it to everyone here and to others who may come to read this thread looking for hope of what I have experienced over this past weekend. I apologize if anything in this post is TMI or upsetting...

As I said on the 21st I had what I thought was the beginnings of AF. But it was unusual in that the signs and symptoms were not like they should be. My temperatures had remained elevated and the flow was pink instead of red and very light. At 10:00 AM I passed a small bit of white and pink tissue that was unlike anything I've ever seen before, and at 10:30 a small grey clot about the size of the last digit of my pinky finger. I've now been able to confirm that this was a very early miscarriage ("chemical pregnancy").

I still feel like I'm in shock, 3 days later. My husband and I had successfully conceived, even with the Essure in place making our chances a .01%... I would have been 3 weeks and nearly 2 days along when we lost the baby...

My emotions are all over the place. I'm shattered, gutted, empty and so lost in despair that God granted us this special little gift that we only knew existed for about 2 days (I had a faint BFP on Wednesday) but for whatever reason we couldn't keep her (something in my soul just tells me it was a little girl). We spoke with our pastor yesterday and he was so kind and understanding (he too has recently lost a child through very different circumstances) and we have another meeting with him on Thursday to talk privately. I can't even begin to understand why God would do this but I know that His ways are not my ways.

But I'm also excited. I feel like crying and dancing at the same time. God has healed me, and I have my proof. My arms ache to hold my baby that now resides in heaven and I'm jealous of the angels that can play with my daughter while I cannot. I'm praying that God will bless us with another baby, one that I can carry to term and watch grow and learn and speak, and it's so hard to find the patience within myself to wait for his timing.

I hope that I haven't offended anyone here with this message or made anyone feel like their feelings are not significant. I don't know how long I'll be grieving for my first LO or if I'll ever really get over it. I now wear a necklace that has a glass heart with a mustard seed inside it, because we had just reached that milestone when we lost her. But she came with a very important message:

Matthew 17:20
And Jesus said to them, because of your unbelief: for truly I say unto you, if you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain, remove hence to younder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible to you.
 
Kuawen that was beautiful and thank you for sharing. If you feel like dancing and crying then do both! I thank God for your obedience to trust in Him and praise Him during this time in your life that can he so difficult. But you sound as though you are doing well. Continue to trust im the Lord and I'm sure you and your husband will be fine. I will be in prayer for you and yours.
 
Kuawen, that was a miracle you had experienced and to think that all the odds were against you getting pregnant. God is so good and I can't wait for another miracle to come your way.

I too lost a little one recently and I daily have to remind myself to think of the positive, that it actually happened and for the 1st time in my life I saw 2 lines on a pregnancy test. If it happened once, it can happen again.

Thanks for sharing with us :hugs:
 
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
Psalm 119:105


Have you ever tried to walk through a house late at night when the electricity has gone out? It is pitch black and you can’t see your hand in front of your face. You might not even be quite sure of where you are in the room--until your toe finds the leg of your coffee table! Ouch!

Eventually, you find a flashlight. You click it on and the light floods the space around you. Where do you shine it? You shine its light on the floor just in front of your feet. It would be silly to try to use this flashlight to light up your entire home, or even a room on the other side of the house. You need it to show you where to take your next step. You don’t need to see what’s hidden underneath the bed in the guest bedroom. You just need to know where to place your foot so that you don’t stumble and fall.

God has promised that His Word will be a lamp to your feet and a light to your path. Infertility can be a very dark time in your life, filled with questions and very hurtful emotions. Why not search Scripture for God’s guidance? Jeremiah 29:13 says “You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.” There’s a little bit of light shining in the dark days when you don’t know what to do. Search for God, and He’ll be found by you.


Does that mean that He will instantly reveal His entire plan to you, complete with all the details surrounding the resolution of your infertility story? Not likely. Many struggling women have said, “If I just knew that God really was going to give me a baby, I could get through the darkness of this night. I could hold up under the pressure if I knew for certain that at the end I’d have a baby.” Remember that the flashlight only shows you the area right around you. It gives just enough light for you to take the next step. Sometimes God does the same. He doesn’t reveal His entire plan to you. He just illuminates your way enough for you to take the next step, to make the next decision, to get through the next day or the next hour. He knows you are traveling infertility’s journey. Through His Word, He can shine a light to this path and help you know what His beautiful plan is for you and your family.


Dive in to the Word of God. You’ll find help there. You’ll find encouragement there. Most of all, you’ll find God there.
 
We’ve desperately cried God’s Name in times of extreme crisis, pleading for divine intervention and we’ve whispered it quietly in moments of reverent worship. We’ve spoken with Him of day to day things and wept with Him through the most intimate hurts our hearts can carry. Each is an example of prayer. It’s the communion of divinity and humanity where we’re invited into presence of the Almighty by God Himself. We speak of prayer as the most powerful weapon in our arsenal, yet seldom truly believe in the truth of its strength.

What is the reality? Is there power in prayer? Is God moved by the heartfelt cries of people who call on His Name or would things remain the same whether we pray or not? As people who struggle with infertility, we pray for children. We ask God to bless our wombs, and give us the desires of our hearts by granting us the gift of a healthy baby. Why does God give some people children, yet withholds pregnancy from others?

While we could never pretend to answer all the questions that abound on prayer, perhaps you will be encouraged and find yourself wanting to learn more about prayer from our devotions this week. We will look at what Scripture says and what you have said about prayer. We will also share from readers who so graciously tell their own experiences of the power of prayer in their own lives. You don’t want to miss this week’s Daily Double Portions!

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Prayer really is amazing. It is literally communication between God the Creator and created humanity. Sometimes we make it so confusing that we tend to shy away from it, believing we are doing it wrong. If we are talking to God, we are praying! Every time you ask God to bless you with a child, you have lifted your soul in prayer. But why do we pray? Do we do it because of tradition or because it’s what good people do? Does it really matter if we pray or not? Let’s turn to Scripture and see what God’s Word says about prayer.

Should we pray about infertility? Does it really matter if we pray about infertility or are we wasting our time and God’s? Thankfully, we know infertility matters to the heart of God. God chose to include multiple stories of barren couples in His Bible. He could have included anything He wanted in His Word--after all, it’s His book! God chose to include story after story of couples who cried out to Him for a baby. Abraham and Sarah. Elizabeth and Zacharias. Elkanah and Hannah. He even included the infertile in the lineage of Christ. God’s heart must have a tender spot for those of us so consumed by baby hunger.

Since so many pages of the Word are devoted to infertility, let’s take a look and see what role prayer plays in the lives of these families. Since there are definite examples in Scripture, let’s examine a few of them.

Praying your emotions regarding infertility:

Abraham spoke freely with the Almighty about his unmet desire for a baby, and the emptiness his heart carried. What was Abraham’s prayer about infertility? “O Sovereign LORD, what good are all your blessings when I don’t even have a son?” (Genesis 15:2 NLT) Sometimes we feel our prayers have to be so “holy” that we cannot be fully honest with God. We must never forget that God is God and He is holy and we must approach Him with respect and reverence. However, He is also our Father, and He understands that we are emotional creatures. He made us this way. He knows that infertility hurts and He wants us to come to Him with all the pain we are feeling.

Look at God’s response back to Abraham when he poured his heart out to God. God had just promised Abraham a great reward yet he basically responded by telling God it wasn’t enough if he didn’t have a child to share it with. What was God’s reaction? It certainly wasn’t anger or disappointment. God showed Abraham such compassion and love as the God of the universe made a blood covenant with the created.

You can express your heart to God in prayer in times of joy, in times of sadness, in times of frustration. Learn from Abraham’s example and tell God how you feel.

Daily Double Portion reader, Rosilynn S. shares with us how she was able to pour her heart out to God in a moment of sadness:

Just last week, I was fighting depression. The root of my depression came from my insecurities about getting older, not having children, struggling with where I am in my career, and not knowing how to move forward when life doesn't happen the way I expected it to happen. I called my mom, we talked and she prayed for me. I told my husband about my feelings, he prayed for me. Later in the day, after running an errand, I pulled my car over to an empty parking lot and I just began to pour my heart out to the Lord. I shared my fears, my frustrations, concerns, sadness, disappointments and I asked for God's peace. I prayed the scripture weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. After that prayer, I felt peace and joy. I went home and began to clean my home and played some Christian music. I began to praise God. My heart was lifted because of prayer and I felt hope and like everything would be ok.

I am a living witness, prayer works!

Perseverance in prayer and asking God to give you a child:

Perhaps the most natural prayer we pray regarding infertility is the prayer asking God to give us a child and the most natural place to start is in 1 Samuel where read about Hannah. The pages of 1 Samuel are drenched in Hannah’s tears as she wept on the floors of the temple, begging God for a baby. Year after year after year, Hannah and her husband would travel to the house of the Lord to worship. When she was there, Hannah would fall in prayer at the temple and beg God for a child. Notice that even in her distress, Scripture tells us Hannah “prayed to the Lord” (1 Samuel 1:10), even though she wept bitterly. Hannah’s prayers were not a one time thing. Verse 12 says she “continued praying”. Nothing could stop her petitions to the Almighty. Not the years of barrenness, not the provocation of a bitter, hateful rival. Not even the discouragement of years of waiting for a baby. Hannah is a portrait of perseverance in prayer for all of us to emulate.

Eventually, Hannah’s prayers were answered in the birth of her son, Samuel. 1 Samuel 1:19 says “the Lord remembered her”. The grief she had lived through paled in comparison to the incredible joy at the gift of this baby. However, Hannah’s prayers did not stop when God gave her what she had asked of Him so many times. Hannah offered prayers of thanksgiving for her son. In fact, the record of her thanksgiving outnumbers the number of scriptures that describe her prayers of petition. Her worship of God even began before her child was conceived. If you find similarities in your prayers for a child and Hannah’s, may you also find similarities in her prayers of praise and your own.

Praying for each other in the infertility journey:

Don’t forget to pray for each other. Genesis 25 tells us about another infertile couple in Scripture, Isaac and Rebekah. Verse 19 says “Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was barren; and the Lord answered him and Rebekah his wife conceived.” Pray for your spouse as you go through this trial together. This Scripture plainly says that Rebekah conceived because Isaac prayed for her. Praying about infertility matters! Pray for other couples you know who are struggling. Join together and pray for each other. There is power in your prayers one for another.

God cares about infertility and He wants you to come to Him with your hurts, your petitions for yourself and those you love and your praise. God answers prayers about baby hunger!

-Beth Forbus
 
Ladies I need a bit of advice. I'm a firm believer of "if you don't have anything nice to say" etc...well I have come across another BNB member who is sooooo rude and never has anything nice to say. I know she is struggling with infertility and tonight she made it personal by attacking my comment. Told me to "stick my happy go lucky pregnancy up my ass." And that I didn't deserve my children because I don't care for them properly. But she wrote me on FB. So I can't really say anything to a mod on BNB. Anyways, I chose not to respond because, well if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. I kind of wanted to tell her that I know she is hurting and I forgive her for saying what she did, but not to talk to me again. Am I being fair? Or am I shutting off a line of communication that could possibly help someone in the end? Not sure what The Lord wants me to learn from this...
 
Ladies I need a bit of advice. I'm a firm believer of "if you don't have anything nice to say" etc...well I have come across another BNB member who is sooooo rude and never has anything nice to say. I know she is struggling with infertility and tonight she made it personal by attacking my comment. Told me to "stick my happy go lucky pregnancy up my ass." And that I didn't deserve my children because I don't care for them properly. But she wrote me on FB. So I can't really say anything to a mod on BNB. Anyways, I chose not to respond because, well if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. I kind of wanted to tell her that I know she is hurting and I forgive her for saying what she did, but not to talk to me again. Am I being fair? Or am I shutting off a line of communication that could possibly help someone in the end? Not sure what The Lord wants me to learn from this...

She must be hurting to say those kinds of things. Sometimes hurt brings out the ugly and that was definitely ugly. I would just pray for her and leave it alone, no sense in going back and forth with someone who is bringing you down. Hopefully she will come to her senses and realize what she said was wrong. Forgive her and move on.
 
Why should we pray? Should we pray because we have a problem and God has the answer? Should we pray because we need to let God know we need something? First and foremost, we pray because God tells us to. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says to “pray without ceasing”. When things are going great for us--pray. When things are awful--pray. When we get the answers we desire--pray. When nothing is going right--pray. Perhaps the most amazing thing about it is that prayer is God’s idea. He loves us and desires relationship with us. Relationship requires communication and prayer is how we communicate with God.

Don’t forget, however, that communication goes two-ways. What if you went an entire week with your spouse where you spoke every word, but he said nothing. No notes written down, no emails or tweets. Not even hand gestures. No communication from him to you at all for one solid week. Not because he was angry or because of any other problem, but just because that was the method of communication you had fallen into. What would your relationship be like that week? Would you know exactly what your husband was thinking and feeling? What he wanted for dinner? How his day was at work? What would your relationship be like that week?

When you spend time in prayer, remember to listen for God’s communication back to you. When you are dealing with infertility, you desperately need God’s guidance. You are asking Him to new grant life and with this new life comes an eternal soul. What could carry more significance?

So many prayer requests come into Sarah’s Laughter asking for God’s guidance. What an honor to pray for and with you. Prayer is one way you will find God’s direction for your life. Jeremiah 29:11-14 says “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,’ declares the LORD”. God is telling you that He will not be hidden from you when you come to Him in prayer and seek Him with your whole heart. He does not promise that He will reveal His entire plan to you all at one time, or even that He will reveal things to you within your time frame. But He does say when you seek Him with your whole heart, He will allow Himself to be found by you.

Christine Y. shares with us a time when she sought God's guidance over which doctor she should contact regarding her medical treatment for infertility:

My husband and I have been hoping to conceive since December 2010. After 6-months of no conception, I grew concerned and went to an OB/GYN for basic blood work. This first doctor and I did not click well - she was recommending ovulatory drugs, something that I did not feel comfortable with at the time because by all my tracking calculations, I was ovulating regularly. Her recommendations did not seem to match my situation. So as my annual exam approached in December 2011 (also the one-year mark of us trying to conceive), I began searching for a new doctor, but was very unsure about who to see. I asked several friends who they recommended and seemed to get a different answer each time, making me feel even more confused and uncertain. I scheduled an appointment with a particular doctor, but kept wondering if I should switch my appointment to a different doctor at the same practice named Amy who was also recommended to me.

One night as I was agonizing over this seemingly small decision (that felt big to me at the time), I was crying out to the Lord to help me. I realized as I was praying that it was silly for me to worry and fret about what doctor to see, and instead prayed for a clear sign if I should switch my appointment to see Dr. Amy instead. The clear sign I prayed for was to see or hear the name Amy the next day.

Lo and behold, God has a lovely sense of humor. As my husband and I were driving to church the next morning, we were behind a car for several miles that had a "Vote for Amy" bumper sticker. The funny thing was that I did not remember my prayer in that moment - it wasn't until I was talking to a friend after church that it hit me, and I just felt so much awe and wonder that God had so faithfully and specifically answered that prayer. (And my friend wondered why I suddenly had zoned out.) So the next day, I called and switched my appointment to Dr. Amy. My appointment with Dr. Amy was wonderful and we get along very well. I know God does not always answer our prayers that specifically, but I'm thankful for the moments when He does.

I'm currently still walking this journey of waiting and hoping for children. It has been 2 1/2 years full of lessons learned, relationships we would otherwise not have, and opportunities realized that would not have been. I would not change anything about how our journey has gone so far. We have been praying for wisdom and guidance about what the Lord's plan is for our lives, but are presently receiving only silence. But in that silence, we strive to be thankful for all the blessings He has given us: five furry kids, a home, time alone together, more financial freedom, and improved physical health through our decision to adopt a plant-based diet after watching Forks Over Knives. Whether we grow our family biologically or through adoption, we are open and ready for the Lord's will, just waiting for His guidance. I think the hardest thing for me currently is getting impatient and anxious (in an excited way) about what God's plan is for our lives. I firmly believe Romans 8:28 - His plan will be good because He is good. I want His plan. I just really, really want to KNOW what His plan is. Like, really. Really!!

Prayers for patience much appreciated. :)

God can even show you how He wants you to pray. Perhaps He wants you to spend time with Him offering your most heartfelt praise. He may lead you to be vulnerable in His presence, laying your soul bare before Him.

When you face questions in your journey through infertility, pray about what God wants you to do. Does He want you to seek medical treatment or trust Him for conception? Does He want you to check into adoption or wait a little longer? Let Him guide you in how He desires you to pray. Don’t rely on others alone to pray for you. You’ll miss the wonderful treasure of a relationship with the God who loves you more than you could ever comprehend and who has an amazing plan for your life. (Also--notice the verse says YOU will call upon me and I will listen to YOU. I will be found by YOU. God wants to hear from YOU!) He’ll reveal His plan to you as you need to know. How will you know His plan for you unless you communicate with Him?

God loves you. He desires communication with you and with give you His guidance when you seek Him with your whole heart. Pray without ceasing about infertility and every other area of your life.

-Beth Forbus
 
Ladies I need a bit of advice. I'm a firm believer of "if you don't have anything nice to say" etc...well I have come across another BNB member who is sooooo rude and never has anything nice to say. I know she is struggling with infertility and tonight she made it personal by attacking my comment. Told me to "stick my happy go lucky pregnancy up my ass." And that I didn't deserve my children because I don't care for them properly. But she wrote me on FB. So I can't really say anything to a mod on BNB. Anyways, I chose not to respond because, well if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. I kind of wanted to tell her that I know she is hurting and I forgive her for saying what she did, but not to talk to me again. Am I being fair? Or am I shutting off a line of communication that could possibly help someone in the end? Not sure what The Lord wants me to learn from this...


Firstly, I am sorry to hear someone is that hurt to go out of their way to hurt you. I too, would be offended of that type of message directed towards me. As much as it is tempting to be provoked at the anguish she must be feeling we must respond (if we choose to) in love. Or perhaps sit quiet and pray for her? You might be surprised at what work God will continue to do in your life if you allow him.
We must CHOOSE to not be offended. Just as we often look for a negative in someone's compliment, we must seek a positive out of someone's negative comment. It's evident, she simply wants to be where you are right now.

When your load is too heavy, cast your cares to him. xx
 
...by His wounds we are healed.
Isaiah 53:5

You look beautiful! You are fit and seem to be the picture of health. No one would ever think you carry diseases in your body that torment you so.

Those of us who suffer from infertility are often afflicted with various diseases and physical conditions unseen by outward symptoms. Polycystic ovarian syndrome, endometriosis, low sperm counts. In fact, if pregnancy were not a desired outcome, the presence of some of these conditions may never be discovered. Once revealed in our lives, they become a near constant focus of attention and medical treatment.

God provided for the healing of our physical bodies when Christ died for us on Calvary. Isaiah 53:5 assures us of our healing through the wounding of Jesus’ physical body on our behalf. When Christ offered His perfect, sinless life as an atoning sacrifice for our sin, don’t forget that He made a way for our bodies to be healed as well. What indescribable love and sacrifice!

There are numerous examples of healing in Scripture. In 2 Kings 20:1-6 we read the account of Hezekiah being healed because of prayer, and God adding 15 years to his life:

In those days Hezekiah became ill and was at the point of death. The prophet Isaiah son of Amoz went to him and said, "This is what the LORD says: Put your house in order, because you are going to die; you will not recover."

Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the LORD, "Remember, O LORD, how I have walked before you faithfully and with wholehearted devotion and have done what is good in your eyes." And Hezekiah wept bitterly.

Before Isaiah had left the middle court, the word of the LORD came to him: "Go back and tell Hezekiah, the leader of my people, 'This is what the LORD, the God of your father David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will heal you. On the third day from now you will go up to the temple of the LORD. I will add fifteen years to your life.”

There have been many instances of people in my family being healed as a result of prayer. Allow me to share some of them with you.

My husband was experiencing chest pains at the age of 30. He had just returned from leading a group of teenagers on a missions trip to Costa Rica where they had had the privilege of leading several people to God. Their faith was strong! He asked them to pray for him one night at church, and as they gathered around him and prayed, the pain left him and has never returned.

My brother-in-law suffered severe cardiomyopathy and was told he had about 2 weeks to live. That was almost 20 years ago. Through much prayer and medical intervention, God healed him. He is in full time ministry today.

My mother was healed from crippling arthritis after being told she would live her life in a wheelchair. As she knelt in an altar in a time of prayer, asking God for healing, she said she literally felt a hand on her back--although no one touched her--and her back was healed.

My sister was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor just before leaving the country for a missions trip. During a time of prayer on the missions field, she was miraculously and instantaneously healed and the cancer has never returned.

At 5 years old, my niece broke her arm and sustained severe nerve damage. Doctors said her arm would never grow beyond the size it was at 5 years. Through prayer, her arm was healed and at 24 years old, it is perfectly normal.

I was diagnosed with three diseases that affect fertility. My whole family prayed for God’s will for us. I prayed over every procedure, over every pill and shot I took and asked God to bless them and enable them to do the job they were intended to do. Through much prayer, God granted me a daughter.

In December 2012, I had a stroke. While shopping with my husband, I suddenly lost the use of my left arm. Doctors are still unable to explain why I had it. There were no warning signs, no explanations. They told me that with therapy, I should regain most of the use of my arm within a few months. We immediately called on family and friends to pray. I regained 100% of the use of my arm within 3 days.

These are only examples within my family! To God alone be the glory!

When you pray about your infertility, pray about your physical healing as well. Ask God to heal your ovaries, or to remove fibroids. You can ask Him to heal the conditions that doctors cannot find. God can heal instantaneously or He can heal over time. He can work through doctors and medicines or He can heal in ways that cannot be explained. However He choses to heal, know that all healing comes from the hand of God and be assured that people have been healed because of prayer.

-Beth Forbus
 

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