Christian ladies TTC, we can encourage one another.

[No Doubt]

Honestly, and maybe this is callous of me, but if you don't want to go don't. And yes, I did cut my mom off from information. First, because she was telling everyone about our trouble which I obviously told her in confidence, but second because I was tired of hearing "it'll happen when it's supposed to" and "I just don't think you should be this stressed, it's not healthy" or "stop worrying about it". So I get what you're saying. Even when I was pregnant I kept info from her...we were on bad terms half of my pregnancy, but when it got better I still kept things from her for fear of hearing anything negative.

It's not that you don't want the support, it's just that they're not supporting you properly. And that may be by no fault of there own if they've never been through the struggle. Answers like what they're giving don't help, only hurt. Have you tried explaining this to them?

 

[ProfWife]

Would have loved to try with my sister tonight, but she had to get to church group so she told me she couldn't talk anymore...

Mom is too busy hating life (long story) because of something my dad did almost 2 years ago now that she can't forgive him for...no, it wasn't an affair. She's convinced he's lied about his past and that he had affairs in the past when he denies it.

My other sister would rather focus on classes and running (her classes are 15 minutes from my home, but I never see her).


We use to all be so close...

 

[uwa_amanda]

Ladies struggling with the 12month+ wait (LTTTC)...did you ever cut your family off from information? My sister just seems to constantly want to tell me "maybe it's not God's plan for you to be a biological mother" or "not all prayers are answered...don't you think the prayers for XX's baby to not be born dead or for XX whose 9 year old daughter died of cancer weren't fervent?"

I KNOW prayers go unanswered... I wasn't even talking about my prayer to be a mother...I was talking about the prayer that if biological children aren't God's will for us that it be taken from me...that the desire for it would just be reduced, the pain stop...that we could close the door and move on... For His Will to become ours...

Yet, we aren't getting any movement towards adopting...there's nothing indicating that's our next step yet.

I'm regretting ever bringing my family into my bubble of confidence. My mom tells me to "just go pick one out" or that I need to quit stressing about it. Sister comes up with those examples for why I shouldn't be so upset or upset at all...why I need to basically suck it up and just not doubt God.

I wish I'd never even told them. I don't even want to go home for Mother's Day this year anymore.

Would have loved to try with my sister tonight, but she had to get to church group so she told me she couldn't talk anymore...

Mom is too busy hating life (long story) because of something my dad did almost 2 years ago now that she can't forgive him for...no, it wasn't an affair. She's convinced he's lied about his past and that he had affairs in the past when he denies it.

My other sister would rather focus on classes and running (her classes are 15 minutes from my home, but I never see her).


We use to all be so close...

ProfWife, I read your first post while I was still at work. I have been thinking very hard on what you've said. I know exactly how you feel. One year ago this week, my husband and I made the decision to stop trying and from there I prayed that if this was God's will, then he remove the desire from my heart so my husband and I could heal and move on. It has been a difficult year, but in the last few months, I've gotten better. I got to where I wasn't telling my family much of anything because of the comments from them. My parents were great but my extended family were a whole 'nother story. I have lost friends in the last couple of years and am at a point where I am content with how things have ended up for us. Closing the door on this chapter of our lives after seven years total was very difficult, but I feel like it was for the best, not only for me, but my husband as well, as it really tore him to pieces to see me so upset about everything all the time. My biggest issue right now is trying to figure out what to do with myself now that being a mother will probably not happen. I am praying for you and hope for the best for you and your DH.

 

[No Doubt]

Would have loved to try with my sister tonight, but she had to get to church group so she told me she couldn't talk anymore...

Mom is too busy hating life (long story) because of something my dad did almost 2 years ago now that she can't forgive him for...no, it wasn't an affair. She's convinced he's lied about his past and that he had affairs in the past when he denies it.

My other sister would rather focus on classes and running (her classes are 15 minutes from my home, but I never see her).


We use to all be so close...

Yeah...my mom is busy hating life too. I still choose which things to talk about and not talk about simply cause I don't want to hear anything negative. What I've learned from that is that I still have to live my life and be happy in my life regardless of her. What I'm saying is don't let her affect you, harder said than done I know, but you have to do what's best for you and yours and not let any negativity affect that.

If you need someone to confide in there's always us and I'm sure there other ladies you know in life that you could speak with. Doesn't mean you have to shut them out completely, just maybe choose what you do and don't talk to them about. Example...I don't tell my mother about anything that hubbs does that rubs me the wrong way. Why? Cause my mom is the grudge queen, lol. Then she feels it's her to place to correct my husband like he's a child. He hates it, I hate it and it's so pointless. So there is another lady I talk to that I can actually vent to and she just listens. And that's all I need, cause I know me and hubbs will get through, but sometimes I just need a sounding board.

Fertility is like that sometimes...sometimes you just need to get it all and have someone listen to you at a time you feel like no one is listening at all. I hope you get through it and you and your family get closer. I know that's hard on you by itself. It sounds like you really miss them.

 

[ProfWife]

I do.

Everything used to be a party with us...holidays, birthdays, random Sundays, family UNO night...the last about 3-4 years, it's been gradually getting worse and worse.

I think some of it is that we don't want to be around our parents when they are acting like this...but the three of us don't have the ability to be together often since we all work and I'm an hour away.

I hate it though.

 

[Wish4another1]

Just wanted to subscribe... Been stalking and reading...

 

[No Doubt]

Welcome wish!

 

[Godsjewel]

Just wanted to subscribe... Been stalking and reading...

Welcome

 

[Godsjewel]

Ladies struggling with the 12month+ wait (LTTTC)...did you ever cut your family off from information? My sister just seems to constantly want to tell me "maybe it's not God's plan for you to be a biological mother" or "not all prayers are answered...don't you think the prayers for XX's baby to not be born dead or for XX whose 9 year old daughter died of cancer weren't fervent?" .

Funny, I had the same response from others I confided in...'maybe it's just not God's will for your life'. I hated that more than anything and that's why I didn't go around sharing my business with those who didn't go through what I've been through. That's why it is so nice to come on this thread and encourage each other, because we all understand.

I personally believe God answers every prayer, I believe they come in the form of yes, no or wait. All my answers for 6 years were 'wait'.

Here is a good article I found about it...

How will I know God’s answer to my prayer?
By Dr. Charles Stanley

God often answers prayer in the following ways:

1. “Yes, you may have it.”
2. “No, that is not good for you.”
3. “Wait, I have something better for you.”
4. “My grace is sufficient for you” (2 Cor. 12:9).

When He answers yes, it’s easy to say, “Praise the Lord!” But when He says otherwise, we have a hard time finding reasons to praise Him.

Sometimes we don’t take “no” for an answer, and we keep praying! Or we look for a reason why He didn’t answer our request. But Scripture never says God will give us exactly what we ask for every time. He is sovereign. He has the right to say “no” according to His infinite wisdom. Oftentimes, it’s for our protection.

Sometimes, God wants to answer our prayer, but the timing isn’t right. As I reflect on my life, I realize that if God had answered certain prayers according to my schedule, I would have missed His best in every single case. He may have been waiting for me to grow spiritually in some area so that I could more fully experience the blessings He had in store (Eph. 1:3). Again, He is sovereign, and His timing is perfect.

God also answers “My grace is sufficient.” We may pray for years, yet our circumstances remain unchanged. God seems unresponsive and heaven is silent. In many cases, the problem isn’t the length, intensity, or nature of our prayers. Oftentimes, God is up to something we don’t know about, something much bigger than we were expecting. Something that may require a different answer than the one we anticipated.

But rest assured that if God isn’t removing your particular “thorn,” His grace is sufficient. By an act of our will, we can decide to trust that God knows what He’s doing, even when there’s no logical or rational explanation for our circumstances. The Father is not offended when we ask, “Why?” But He’s overjoyed when we trust Him, even though He may choose not to explain.

God always answers the prayers of His children. As we learn to pray, we will learn to discern His methods.

 

[No Doubt]

I agree Sarah! Your post reminded me of a sermon a couple years back. I can't remember who my pastor quoted, but he said:

If the prayer is wrong, God says no.
If the timing is wrong, God says slow.
If you are wrong, God says grow.
But if the prayer is right, the timing is right and you are right, God says go.

 

[Godsjewel]

Hi Ladies,

A friend of mine has a friend that is currently in her 6th month of pregnancy and on May 4th her water started leaking and she is currently in the hospital having contractions. They did a scan and found out that her little girl has suffered brain damage.

Can you please say a prayer for her and her family during this difficult time, especially with Mother's day coming up on Sunday

Thanks ladies!

 

[No Doubt]

Oh wow...I am so sorry to hear this. Lord bless this family with Your peace and comfort. Surround them and hold them close to You while they go through this process. Be their emotional foundation and physical strength and remind them that everything works out according to Your plan and for the good. In Jesus name, amen.

 

[HisGrace]

Sarah - I will be praying for her.

 

[sportysgirl]

Send prayers to your friend x

 

[Wish4another1]

Saying lots of prayers for her and her family this weekend!

 

[Beanonorder]

Ah Sarah that is so sad, saying lots of prayers for them x

 

[ByHisGrace08]

Hello Ladies,

Just wanted to pop in and say thank you for all of your prayers!!! My husband got very very sick after I posted last and had to be readmitted to the hospital. Since he has so many health issues/is always sick we can handle a lot at home but this time it was spiraling out of control and we are at our home away from home the hospital. Right now it looks like we will be home by Sunday! We have some major decisions to make regarding surgery for him, education plans for me and if Kenny should go on short term disability. These are decisions that need to be made at home where we can find our center again and re-group. Kenny has a surgical consult on Tuesday so we wont have much time once we get home to make our battle plan.

I find God is my rock right now and the chapel at the hospital has become my sanctuary. It upsets Kenny to see me upset so on my one break a day from his room for dinner I spend time in the chapel.

I know it might not make sense to all you but we are still going ahead with TTC. We had to cancel our last apt. with FS but will be rescheduling. Kenny's health has made us realize that life is very short and we want to be parents. This may sound morbid but if something was to happen to Kenny (I cant bring my self to type the D word) I want a small piece of him with me in the form of our child.

I thank you so much for all of your prayers, support and letting me come in here and talk (type) about this even though it is not all TTC related.

Please know I will be praying for all the other needs on here.

Blessings,

Sarah

 

[HisGrace]

Sarah - Stay strong Sarah. I am praying for you and your family.

 

[ProfWife]

Sarah - Praying for you and these upcoming decisions. (Out of curiosity, are you looking to freeze some of his sperm for AI/IUI or IVF? I had a friend freeze her eggs before undergoing cancer treatments in case she went into menopause from them...which she did. At least they have a potential option for gestational carriers later, if they choose.)

Sarah (Godsjewel) - Praying for your friend. So scary!

 

[No Doubt]

Sarah...doesn't sound weirs to me, makes perfect sense. I would want the same in fact. I was actually going to make the same comment, about maybe a sperm retrieval for Kenny. Saw it on a tv show and she ended up with quads, but she felt the same as you and wanted a piece of her husband there with her. Praying for the both of you and that God directs your path accordingly.