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Lou what is wrong with him?! Surely he must NEED sleep!

X x x
 
Excellent message there Chell! Well done hun xxx

Cool on primarni and pizza express Suz. Yummy!

Sorry the trays arent working for you Casey, and I cant believe you are a Potter fan!!! Shock! Hahaha
 
Lou I just don't get it! You would think he would be all cranky then with no sleep. I should google it to see about other cases similar.

good load of crap you got there suz! haha.

Ellen ya total potter fan. I want to sit and re-read the last 3 or 4 books but guess when I will have time to do that? NEVER!
 
Casey, I'm with you on the Potter mania! :)

Lili is 6 months old today... Where on earth has the time gone?!

I'm upset with Joe, but he is clueless to the fact that I am and I have no way of initiating a conversation to tell him... I feel like we were 2 separate people on holiday. If I had Lili he'd disappear to a different room and seemed stuck to his computer and phone not to mention the TV! I bought some condoms and packed them in the suitcase so that he would see them... as a BIG hint... well they came back unopened... :( As a test one day I decided that I would consciously not initiate any physical contact at all... guess what? Not one hug, kiss or even a stroke... I feel like I'm the mother of his child, but I don't feel like a wife, partner or lover in anyway... THEN today we adjusted Lili's buggy to the upright position rather than the lie down pram bit. I said "I'll put this stuff away for next time... he replied "babe, stop saying that, it's not going to happen." No discussion. No considering why I might want another one or how important it might be to me. He's decided and that's it. It's really getting me down and I have no idea how to tackle it... He'll get all defensive or dismissive if I try and talk to him. If I write it in a letter to him he'll never mention it and probably won't change in anyway... I feel like he's lost all interest in me. :cry: :cry: Sorry to rant ladies. I just don't know who else I can vent to!! :)
 
Aww Jess! Shit! You gotta be able to talk to him about this!! He cares for you and doesn't want you to feel unloved I am sure of it!! Talk to him in a way that isn't accusatory, Saying "I feel so sad because I feel that we have lost our intimacy and I want us to be lovers and parents and I don't feel attractive to you, etc" Ask him why he doesn't want to have that physical bond anymore or tell him you feel like you really need it and hopefully he can touch you more because you really miss it. I don't know! You gotta talk to him!
 
Aww Jess :hugs: :hugs: I'm so sorry you feel blue :hugs: They do say the worst time for relationships is straight after having a baby- I think it's especially difficult for some men. Everything in your lives has shifted and it seems like he's doing the typical man thing of backing off and burying his head in the sand :hugs:

I think Casey's advice of how to raise the subject is perfect!! :hugs:

Love you xxxxx

X
 
Thanks Casey, I know I have to talk to him, I just don't know how.... I feel like it's been an uphill battle for his affection for years now... I'n almost at the point where I want to do something dramatic so that he gets a wake up call!
 
Aw Jess :hugs: sorry you're feeling crap. Seriously aside from our totally random twice in a day DTD I feel like me and Danny are the same. I think perhaps it's fairly standard after having a baby, being so busy etc etc.

But I agree with casey, you've got to talk about it. He's not going to get hints, you need to just sit down and talk about it. Maybe send a text/email and say 'can we spend some time together, it's been ages' and then just sit down and tell him how you feel.

Why doesn't he want another? Do you think he's scared because of all the losses and the stresses of the pregnancy? Or having to dtd on demand when ttc? Or does he just only want one baby?

X x x
 
I wish u could go to couples counseling or sex therapy but I am sure he would hate that idea right? But he loves u and wants to be with you and would hate u being unhappy right? As long as u are like "it's me, it's my problem, I need more love and physical touch to feel happy and secure in our bond" he can't be defensive. It would help to cry too! Guys are suckers for that.
 
If you've felt like it for years then you definitely need to broach the subject properly Jess and don't let him fob you off xx
 
Did he used to be affectionate? How long have you been together?

X x x
 
SBB said:
Why doesn't he want another? Do you think he's scared because of all the losses and the stresses of the pregnancy? Or having to dtd on demand when ttc? Or does he just only want one baby?

X x x
Click to expand...

He says he just wants one. Even though he knows I want more. He has no proper argument for it apart from the disruption to his life... He says that everyone he knows says it's harder with 2... It's not like I want another straight away...
 
Jess, I'm sorry you haev to go through that. I agree with Casey...the best thing is to get your feelings out in the open. OH was the same after Jackson...he doesn't want any more but I am very clear that I would like at least one more. His only good reasons are the lack of sleep, but he has a 10-year-old that loves to sleep in so I'm always like look! You will get to sleep in eventually. They're only small for a short time. I think it kind of circles back to the men and babies thing Casey brought up...most men I think just don't do babies, but love older kids they can play sports with or video games. :hugs:
 
We've been together for 11 years. He was affectionate at the start. But then he went through a period of depression and things went weird. We split up for a while and he slept with someone else whilst we were "on a break". But that was about 6 years ago. Then we got married, but he's not been very physical since the depression period. He would give me cuddles and kisses though. I think he found the TTC process really hard going and not very enjoyable... But at the core I just don't feel that he's attracted to me. And as I said I feel like in his eyes I am the mother of his child... not an object of desire.... :cry:

Sorry girls... Think I may be a little premenstrual at the moment!
 
He is on meds too right? That sucks. It kills the libido. Are u upset about the no baby thing or the lack of contact thing more? I feel like the baby thing should be dealt with after u deal with the relationship part. Dont even bring it into the first talk- ttc is distracting from the core problem. Right?
 
Jess- I totally agree with the advice given. You haveto speak up. I know it's hard but don't let it go. I think your feelings are valid. 100%. I think there has to be a discussion about more children and how you really feel, and the way that you feel unattractive e to him etc and that you feel he's not giving you the attention you need to feel loved. I do know that I always feel unattractive for months after having a baby and it is hard to feel good about myself without a hair cut or teeth whitening or something totally stupid like that to feel better! You need to go pamper yourself. And working out (if you don't already) will also help your self image. You are beautiful. I'm sure he feels the same way and is just having a hard time expressing that. Maybe u could just sit down over a nice meal and talk about everything you are feeling. Just tell him you need him to listen and get it all out. We love you and think you are wonderful!
 
True Jess! Casey has it! The children thing should be addressed after the main issue is tackled!
 
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