Clomid Club Graduate Buddies

[Peach Blossom]

Well, Lili seems to be coping with the jet lag better than me! I'm on my knees... just need to push through for a few more hours... So. Tired. Want. To. Sleep...

Glad telling the folks went well Veron. It doesn't matter when you tell people, especially family. Better to have the support early on. x

 

[babyloulou]

The average birth day for a first baby is 41+1 - that's why they don't medically consider you overdue until after 41 weeks in the UK x

 

[Euronova]

I know it's a hard call but I guess it's also a case once more of cultural differences! There aren't more death in the UK or in France at birth, it's pretty much equivalent. However there are a lot more complicated births in the UK.
We do things so differently back in France. For a start, you see a gynaecologist every year and they prescribe your pill and do an overall (and internal) check up, including checking breasts for lumps, smears and sometime bloods if you are on the pill. My SIL here has had a C-section and never seen a gynaecologist in her life... and is still fiercely avoiding her smears... it just seems that here everything is passed down to the lowest level qualified possible person... my french gynaecologist was joking that next it will be the doorman delivering babies...
no one in my family there has had anywhere near as bad an experience as my friends here... but then it might be luck! In most cases I presume it does not matter and things just happen naturally and well. I think mainly here my friends felt panicked because they did not have the reassurance of a doctor that knew what was going on and could make a decision for them. A lot of them felt very let down in hospital and had really horrible fears. My sister and SIL in France felt completely safe and looked after, their OB was there and he knew them.
My mum had very small babies usually 3 weeks early, but Oliver's mum had huge babies up to nearly 3 weeks late!!! (I didn't even know that was possible!)... I know for sure when I conceived so there is no way I am waiting 2 weeks +!!! (now we shall see if I am proven wrong!! hahaha!)

 

[babyloulou]

Hey Jess- I didn't know you were back!! Have I missed an earlier post from you? Did you have a good time?

Have you spoken to Joe yet? Xxx

 

[kcw81]

Welcome back Jess! I can't believe how far away you took lilli! Did it go ok for the most part? Did she adjust well? Is she eating better now? Update us on Joe when you have news! I hope you and him can fix this.

Wow v! That's early to tell but glad u did! It's fun bearing the news, such happy news! I was freaked out till 2nd tri so no one knew. Plus I had a mmc before.

 

[lisaf]

I actually didn't mind going late.. I wasn't horribly uncomfortable and knew it was the last time I'd get to just relax and laze about and have all the 'me' time I wanted I didn't understand why everyone else was so impatient

I think some of the bad experiences come from funding issues and poorly trained staff.

In the US part of the problem is reported to be that we have women see OBs and not midwives. Many OBs admit that they find regular births boring and don't feel useful unless something is going wrong.
I had the same OB for all my pregnancy but I had to see other OBs because you are not guaranteed your own doctor at time of delivery. I ended up having my doctor and a midwife too but that was just luck of the draw.

Many women feel disappointed in their birth experience. Thats why I hired a doula to support me and my husband through the process. It was just too easy for us to panic and having someone who was an 'expert' at the birthing process (labor etc) who could help us talk through our choices etc was great. In the hospital, the nurses just want you in and out. You see a different nurse each shift change and they don't stay with you while you labor. A doula is there for you for your whole labor, can fetch food for your OH, make phone calls for you, or support you while your OH takes a breather etc. I am totally satisfied with my labor and know I did everything the best I could. Even though it ended up being nothing like what I wanted, I know I wasn't rushed into any decisions.

 

[Euronova]

it might sound stupid but I have a feeling everything is going to be fine... i can't quite explain it as i am a born worrier! Everytime I tell someone I feel really positive about it, like it's making it more real. I know it's still early days but having seen the bean on the scan and the heartbeat I know that stats are in my favour
Oh and HI JESS!! I DON"T THINK WE MET I've invited myself to your thread hahaha

 

[lisaf]

oh yes, Jess, let us know how things go with Joe!
Did you ever find your phone?

 

[kcw81]

Lou do u wish u had a c section? Wouldn't it have gone so much easier?

 

[babyloulou]

V- out of me and 4 of my friends that have given birth only 2 had straight forward labours- the other 3 of us had complications. But then the anteclass I was in all had normal births except me (out of 7 women) so I'm not sure how common it is or not.

I would prepare yourself for going late though- most first babies are and they won't induce you for no reason xx

 

[lisaf]

I felt everything was going to be fine for me too Vero I just didn't want to deal with having to notify the world at large if something went wrong before 12 weeks.

Oh yeah, and I knew exactly when Daniel was concieved, even got my first positive blood test at 7 HCG so I knew basically when he implanted, lol! I was still late One positive side to bigger babies is that they are supposed to sleep better. Ben is an exception of course, lol!

 

[Euronova]

Lisa, that sounds nice!
I thought a Doula here was for after the birth, I didn't think you could have someone during labour too!
I can choose OB led care or midwife led care at the private hospital... i think I will have to discuss things and also see the prices, it's covered by my insurance but I don't want to go over my limit!
I am glad I am going private, not that I think the NHS is not qualified but I feel I am less likely to have to experience over stretched teams

 

[lisaf]

that sounds ideal then Vero! There are post-partum doulas too that can help you with breastfeeding, make sure you are getting the support you need, even stop by and do a load of laundry for you Mine included 2 post partum visits. I only got 1 visit really but she did bring me dinner another time, so that was awesome (And it was yummmmmmmmy too).
I don't know what the rules are there with support in the delivery room. Its important to find a doula who is there to support you no matter what choice you make (some can be a little pro-natural labor which might be what you want, but you don't need a guilt trip if you are really at your limit). One of the ones we interviewed gave me a bit of a guilt trip about breastfeeding because I had worries about my medication and if I was willing to try a different medication in order to breastfeed. We didn't hire her.

 

[kcw81]

Oh I think that labor will never go as planned so why even plan! Ha. If I had written a plan it would have been in the trash can since mine was so freaking fast. We had to give our doc a ride to the hospital next Door to his office because there was no time. I don't even remember the nurses in there's faces but one of them
Was in her workout clothes i guess cuz she was in the hospital gym on break since they had no planned deliveries!

 

[lisaf]

 

[babyloulou]

Casey- I'm not sure to be honest. I don't think I would have wanted a c-section. The actual pushing bit wasn't the main problem is was Ben being stuck on my spine before that- during the actual labour. If I'd had a c-section I probably wouldn't have been able to have been there next to his incubator for those 7 days in Neonatal still BFing him (it was hard enough with my bloody fractured tail bone!!)

I wouldn't make any sort of birth plans if I had another baby. I was so sure everything was going to be ok with Ben. I wasn't scared about the birth at all! I fought for the birth centre birth instead of the hospital- had my maternity tankini packed for my water birth! I wasn't even scared when I went into labour!! Shows what the fuck I knew!! I wouldn't bother planning anything again!!

I was told at Ben's latest review that my file had a note on saying I needed to be offered post-traumatic counselling (as apparently my birth is considered a high-category complicated birth- whatever the hell that means!!) and that I was at a high risk for PND!! It just shows you how shit the NHS is that the first time they mentioned this is when Ben is 9 months old!!!

 

[kcw81]

Wow Lou - I can't believe they never told u that. U poor girl it must have Been really scary. I mean- are u afraid for the next one??

 

[babyloulou]

I still don't know if I'd have another yet to be honest

 

[lisaf]

is that because of the birth or because of Ben's sleeping issues?

 

[babyloulou]

The birth Lisa! I'm on a roll with no sleep now!! He only slept two hours altogether last night (and not even in one block!) and it just feels normal to me now!