Chell, I'll look at the house in a minute... It's a tough call but I'd say location is as important as the actual house. A super big all singing house won't make you happy if you get pissed off listening to traffic in your garden or stressed every time you need to get off the drive!
Jess
I'm quite sure you are a wonderful, giving, selfless person. We all know that, and love you for it. The charity things etc you do are amazing, and yes you should spend some more time on you. But to use that as a reason not to be with you or to look elsewhere is so low. Seriously. Not on. He should love that about you and maybe offer to take care of Lili so you can have some you time. Not what he has been doing.
I think many people have stories of parents divorcing, mine did when I was thirteen after my mum had a sort-of affair, with my dads friend. Nice. Needless to say it kind of ripped our family apart. She barely sees/speaks to my brother, my dad can only now just about look vaguely in her direction, and obviously it was a huge mistake. The friend split with his wife to be with my mum, it didn't last long and caused a whole lot of anger and upset.
They both did it to escape from their relationships.
Anyway, my point I guess Is that if you are going to split, which I know is not what you want, to do it while lili is so young, and to do it amicably is probably the best way to do it.
I know you are pinning your hopes on counselling, and I do undersand that, but try and think about the other option. I know you don't want to
but you WOULD be ok. You really would. It would take time and be heartbreaking, but it may be the best option. I'm sorry I know this is not what you want to hear.
For now, I'd say be tough with Joe. Tell him matter of factly what you want, what you want from the counselling and try and be really strong. I know it's so hard, but show him you are tough and not a walkover and he doesn't get to hurt you and walk away.
As for whether he's cheated or just has feelings, I'm sure it will come out in the end. I think you probably know, from what he's said and whether you believe him. whichever way it is, he shouldn't have gone to someone else for a way out, he should have come to you and addressed this long ago when he first felt you were drifting. But hey, how many people do that right?
We are with you whatever you decide to do. And right now you want to make it work so we are going to support you in that. If you change your mind so do we
First thing is get tough with him. He IS NOT your life. YOU and lili are all you NEED. he is an extra that you want around, so look at it like that instead of thinking your works will fall apart without him. Ok? Good.
Love you x x x
Ps is my tough-love ok?
xx
The road would put me off though. I'd be too afraid Ben or one of the dogs would run out of the front door xxx
my sister was in a very unhappy marriage and her husband was cheating on her for years. He said he fell out of love with her. She tried to make it work for the kids and just got really really depressed. It was getting very bad. Once they split she was so much happier and looked back on it wondering why she stayed as he continued to cheat. Now she is very happy on her second marriage with a man that is very in love with her. I mean you could work it out, but like I said, it takes two
)
girls hope your all well afm 13dpo today going to test Tuesday if no af fx the witch stays away its my birthday tomorrow wooopp love prezzies haha x x x