co sleepers.. who do you let co sleep with your baby?

[hanni]

Sometimes my son and I bed share, I usually stay at my mams on weekends and my son and I share her spare bed, no issue there.

We were talking about Dominic staying over for his first sleepover without me soon and I asked where he would sleep and she said she would share the bed with him, I don't feel comfortable with this and when I told her no she went in a mood.

I'm his mum, I'm totally aware of him and used to sleeping next to him, it's instinct to know he's there and be aware of pillows, bedding and things like that. I fear she won't be used to it and could forget and god forbid.

Would you feel comfortable with letting your baby share a bed with their grandparent?

 

[mummytobe_93]

Sometimes my son and I bed share, I usually stay at my mams on weekends and my son and I share her spare bed, no issue there.

We were talking about Dominic staying over for his first sleepover without me soon and I asked where he would sleep and she said she would share the bed with him, I don't feel comfortable with this and when I told her no she went in a mood.

I'm his mum, I'm totally aware of him and used to sleeping next to him, it's instinct to know he's there and be aware of pillows, bedding and things like that. I fear she won't be used to it and could forget and god forbid.

Would you feel comfortable with letting your baby share a bed with their grandparent?

No definitely not. I will only co sleep with my son and no one else not even my partner as I don't feel comfortable at all and if anything were to happen to him I wouldn't forgive myself.

Just tell her what you said just say that you're used to sleeping with him , you're aware of him and if anything were to happen to him you would never forgive yourself. Maybe just use a carry cot off a pram or a travel cot? X

 

[SoupDragon]

Absolutely not. Me and my husband are the only ones I would ever consider. Thankfully this issue has never come up for me, and I won't be letting DD do an overnighter without me for years yet, but if it was ever to happen, I'd insist on a travel cot.

 

[hanni]

Thanks ladies. I said I'd been looking at travel cots to buy and she started huffing saying well that's up to you. I just told her it didn't matter and we'll wait until he's old enough to sleep on his own. All I wanted was a break since he is the worst sleeper in the world and I'm getting to the point I'm too exhausted to function but seeing that reaction made me realise I wouldn't be able to just relax anyway.

 

[amytrisha]

My MIL has asked a few times, 1. I'm not comfortable to leave him over night yet 2. There is no way in hell hes sleeping in her bed with her.

I'd definitely opt for a travel cot. X

 

[AP]

No - safe co-sleeping involves the mother instincts imo. I wouldnt even let my OH. Not until they are older toddlers.

 

[Button#]

I wouldn't let anyone else either and that also includes my OH. It's not safe no matter how it makes her feel.

 

[bbbbbbb811]

Me and only me!!
Not my OH, or parents, sister, daughter or anyone else would be allowed to bed share with a baby so young. Toddler stage, yes but not as a baby so stand your ground on what you feel comfortable with

 

[Cattia]

No, not in a million years. We as mothers are tuned into our babies sleep in a way that nobody else is. I used to co sleep with my son who was a terrible sleeper and there is no way I would have let my husband sleep with him, let alone anyone else.

 

[Becky1987]

I'm obviously the odd one out but with my son I've allowed both my mum and sister from around 4 months and then later sil and mil sleep with him and over 1year he's slept with cousins too....I know when I've had someone else's baby to sleep I don't really sleep anyway and have co slept with other babies both prior to and after becoming a mum myself:..to each their own I guess....I wouldn't let my new baby sleep out anyway but if I was co sleeping later and was comfortable in them sleeping out I wouldn't expect someone else to try make them sleep in a cot/Moses basket. You've always to do what your comfortable with tho not anyone else. X

 

[Cangaroo]

I wouldn't let anyone else co-sleep with my baby until over 1. If it were an emergency and I couldn't be there, I would let OH co-sleep, but that would be a last resort even though I know he's fully aware of "the rules" and always seemed pretty aware of DD1 when she used to sleep in the middle when she was little.

 

[zorak]

No one else apart from myself or my husband until they are over 1. My husband and I are aware of our own kids and both take time to prepare the bed, ourselves etc I'd always doubt other people.

Fortunately both sets of Grandparents are v old school and they themselves wouldn't deem it safe. Only toddlers are allowed in their bed when staying over and even then its a last resort, they all prefer everyone to sleep in their own beds.

 

[Bevziibubble]

Only me. DH can be in the bed but by the side of me and not baby. Now she's older I wouldn't mind her sleeping next to other family members, but as a baby definitely just me.

 

[Zombers]

I feel like I have a 6th sense when LO sleeps in bed with me. He stirs just a bit and I'm wide awake to make sure he is alright. I've even kicked DH out of the bed and he sleeps on our oldest sons bunk bed. Thankfully the bottom bed is a full size so he doesn't mind.
Like most the other ladies, I agree that other family shouldn't co-sleep, especially since they are not used to it and may have habits that could put the child at risk.

 

[MindUtopia]

At his age, no. Up until my daughter was 9 months, I was the only one who slept with her (my husband slept in the bed, just not next to her). From around 9 months, we both sleep with her, particularly if I'm working away or am sick and need a break, etc. My daughter is now 2.5 and I would feel comfortable with a grandparent sleeping with her now. But definitely not at only 5 months. I think the risk is too great with someone who isn't used to bedsharing with a small baby, even if they did it with their own children. We have very different sleep patterns when we're older and I just wouldn't trust that someone would be alert enough to notice how they were lying at that age. My daughter is old enough now that she can kick you or tell you to move if you invade her space! But when they're babies they can't do that. I would be inclined to not allow an overnight visit if I had any concern that she might bedshare.

 

[Rainstorm]

A big no for me. I never co-slept with lo when he was a baby. We do now sometimes (he's almost two) when he's sick. When he was 2 months old we went for a short trip with my in-laws and after a complicated night they offered to take him to bed with them to give me a break. I refused and said I didn't even co-sleep with him, so I wasn't going to let THEM do it. They insisted and I explained that I was fully aware of him at night cos I'm his mother, but it wouldn't be the case with them. At the time, I was a new mom and not as confident as now. If it happened today I wouldn't even offer an explanation

 

[hanni]

Thanks ladies!
She went out and bought a travel cot so I think she now understands.
It's good to know I wasn't just being fussy and unreasonable. I'd probably let him once he's about 1.5-2 but not this young.

 

[staceymxxx]

We share a bed once or twice a week when hes unsettled, only i sleep next to him and the bed is a double in the nursery.. i wouldn't let anyone else as they aren't use to ut x