Thanks hun, that’s really sweet of you. I think I messed it up by trying to change the title of my thread and now I just can’t get on it anymore. It doesn’t matter, I was just rambling and can’t remember most of what i’d written to be honest. Basically af was a week late so I’d stupidly let myself believe maybe I could have been pregnant. I brought a test yesterday morning when I went shopping and as is always the way just as I was about to take it af arrived. I’ve been so regular since having my youngest, so to be a week late of course my heart wanted to believe I could be. It’s hard to know how to feel because I desperately want one more baby, but dh doesn’t. When he asked if I’d got my period yet Tuesday night and I said no he looked really worried, which is the main reason I picked up the test yesterday morning. I txt him at work to let him know he could stop worrying and he replied that he knows I’m disappointed. I just don’t know how to feel. I don’t want to make him feel pressured to give into me again (not that I believe he would again) but it’s taking a huge amount of self control most days not to beg him because of how much the feeling is overwhelming me. I’m feeling in a constant state of panic that times running out for me now, if it hasn’t already. I’m struggling so bad with it all. I had a beautiful dream the night before I brought the test that I had a gorgeous little baby girl and it was so vivid that when I woke up realising it was a dream I could have cried. My hearts just aching for one last baby. Sad thing is tho that even if I did by some miracle fall pregnant, I would literally be the only one happy about it. How could I bring a baby into the world that no one but me wanted