coming up on Lily's second birthday..

[amotherslove]

and i'm not sure how to feel. i've recently come back in contact with her father (2 months ago) and we've been talking. we've all but gotten back together and he's even seen pictures of her urn. we arent living in the same province so he wont be here for her birthday.. i'm feeling the anxiety creeping up. october has alot of significance for me (not only because of her, but alos him and oct 15th and other things)

i guess i dont know why i'm posting.. i just needed to say it somewhere and it seems silly to post on facebook over a month away from her birthday. i miss her so desperately.. :'( i just want my baby back.

 

[mhazzab]

It's still so hard isn't it? In some ways it gets more difficult because as time goes on and it gets further from the day we lost them, it feels like we are getting further from our babies.

All I can tell you is that I found Eve & Megan's birthday to be peaceful, I managed to remember them with a smile, I even bought them some birthday cupcakes. Like many things the lead up to it was worse than the day itself. To be honest I did feel a little guilty because I wasn't as upset as the previous year but that's just the way grief works I guess. I finally realised it wasn't because I loved them any less.

Thinking of you and I hope the coming weeks are gentle on you xxx

 

[amotherslove]

thank you last year i bought cake for her and wrote her name on it. i am hoping this year is easier. but i'm really anxious about it. *hugs* to you and your babies.

 

[Xpecta]

I'm sorry you have to go through such an event. I couldn't even imagine! to both of you! I hope you can face the day with a smile!

 

[amotherslove]

thank you. i appreciate the hugs i could definitely use them.