Confidence building

[x_Kiirsty_x]

Okay, so I've always been one of these women who don't have any confidence about herself and who has trouble talking to people .. I was just wondering if any of you have any tips to build your confidence as I would really like to be a more outgoing, shiny, bright confident Mummy

 

[topsy]

Hi Hun,

I`m sorry I don`t have any advice on becoming more confident, just wanted to say I will be watching this thread closely, as I too lack self confidence.

Take care x

 

[aubreee]

the first thing that came to my mind was:

this thread is about confidence and this girl's post is written in tiny letters (maybe it's just me, but if not then how come your letters are so tiny?)

you could give yourself little daily exercises, like for example if you want to say what you really feel etc...then set yourself a day and that day really do it. don't try, really do it. and then see how that makes you feel. and if it was good, then do it again. and set yourself a more challenging goal

what is it that makes you feel that you lack confidence? i mean like in which situations would you liek to have more confidence?

 

[x_Kiirsty_x]

Didn't mean for the writing to be small, didn't do it on purpose.

What makes me lack confidence??

Well I feel that I'm the uglyest person on the planet!! lol and also that I am the size of a house which I know I'm not ,, I'm just like any one who puts themselves down about there 'saggy bits' or 'big/small nose' etc.. It don't help though when my OH is constantly looking at women who are much prettyier/skinnyer than me (and before you all say "thats what men do" - I know)
Also I feel awkward in social situations.. like I don't know what to say to people, etc..

you may feel that this thread is compleatly pointless & stupid but heyyy...
I only want advice on how to become more confident.

 

[aubreee]

no i really don't think your thread is pointless!!

i was not too hot on the self confidence thing a while ago myself.

But for some reason i also don't really have any advice to give you.
what i did was look at the situations that i wished i would be different and then i just started being how i want to be. and big part of that was just accepting me as who i am. it sounds stupid to write that but it helped for me.

thats why i asked, because maybe if you look into the situations you can already find the answers there for yourself!

But it is possible!

 

[MummyToAmberx]

wish i knew id taken it up years ago.

 

[x_Kiirsty_x]

no i really don't think your thread is pointless!!

i was not too hot on the self confidence thing a while ago myself.

But for some reason i also don't really have any advice to give you.
what i did was look at the situations that i wished i would be different and then i just started being how i want to be. and big part of that was just accepting me as who i am. it sounds stupid to write that but it helped for me.

thats why i asked, because maybe if you look into the situations you can already find the answers there for yourself!

But it is possible!

^^ I have tried this but I get so far then clam up :[ lol

 

[icclebaby]

Hi

I know how you feel, I too hate social situations, never know what to say to people, just cant have a normal flowing conversation (god I sound so sad saying that) think I might have some signs of social phobia but not others, doesnt help that my OH is life and sole of the party, loves to be centre of attention so I cant tell him how I feel, he just wont understand, make up any excuses I can not to have to go to get togethers. Dont know what to do about it, I try to think that I am a kind caring person (which I am by the way, not just trying to convince myself!!!!!) but I want to be a funny outgoing person and realistically that is never going to happen

 

[JosieM]

I'm not exactly an extrovert it takes me time to get to know people well but it doesn't bother me, even if you don't feel confident you can fake it and no one will be any wiser! Plus I've stopped worrying what people think of me, maybe it comes with being 30 plus and becoming a mum! It's a cliché but try to believe in yourself and take pride in your achievements whether that's becoming a mum or whatever challenges you've taken on and succeeded at.

 

[JosieM]

Oh yeah and if you don't know what to say to people, ask them questions about themselves, takes the attention off you and lots of people like to talk about themselves!

 

[kanga]

Hypnosis tapes are quite good. You can listen to them each night before you go to bed, and after a few weeks you will start to see a difference. You can get them from the internet, and possibly book stores

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/search/...idence+and+self+esteem&ie=UTF8&qid=1289210294

You need to work out what is affecting your confidence and take small steps to change your perception. Log your experience each day, so when you achieve change, you have a record you can look back on. Get yourself a note book.

Books are quite good too
https://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_s...-keywords=confidence+and+self+esteem&x=9&y=13

Is there something you can add into your life to fill the gap? So maybe join a weight loss group where you can meet new people to give you support. Can you manufacture social situations where you can practice your mingling skills, eg church group, baby/toddler group, craft group, book club.