Confirmed 3rd boy on the way

Discussion in 'Gender Disappointment' started by twinklestar25, May 5, 2019.

  1. twinklestar25

    twinklestar25 Well-Known Member

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    So we had out gender scan and sure enough we have our 3rd boy on the way! I’m ok, a bit taken a back at the thought of 3 boys. Kinda thought we’d maybe get 1 girl amongst 3 children but hey ho, I fully new and accepted it could go either way before we fell preg, guess I just had some hope for a girl even though I was pretty sure it would be a boy, now it’s confirmed there’s no quiet hope in the back of my mind.

    My worries maybe superficial, my main dread is the comments of other people, I’ll prob just tell family and tell everyone else we’ve not found out to avoid too many daft comments!
    I feel abit guilty on my family, kinda like I tired for another baby with hope of having a girl and all the extra things and adjustments like nursery costs, probable house move, saving harder for holidays would be worth it if I’d gotten my wish but now we have another boy I feel guilty for this. (Feel awful saying that but I need to get my thoughts out).
    Having said that my boys both want a brother , but my eldest (just turned 9) was not impressed to be getting either at first :-( but said if he had to choose he would want another brother. My middle (nearly 6) is happy, he wants to be in the middle! Which is a blessing at Least!
    They don’t know yet, we’re letting them pop a big balloon today to find out so I think they will be happy.

    My other worry is how will the dynamics be, my 2 boys are great together most of the time, how will the 3rd after a gap effect them, I hope it will be ok.

    At the end of the day I could not shake the desire for a 3rd baby (it was actually making me crazy the I decisin but not been able to settle with a no decisin after trying so many times) I’d always wanted a slightly bigger family as mine is tiny, I don’t really get on with my mum that much, she can be hard work so I did have worries about having a girl incase it ended up a similar relationship, also didn’t look forward to the teen yrs with a girl. So I don’t know why I felt the want for one at all really, I guess just to experience it and the pressure of others.

    Hubby didn’t really want another but said he would for me so that’s hard also, he has been great though, even been saying about a 4th since we were first Preg! But I can’t see that happening, mostly with my age, 33 now and costs.
    I have some thoughts of how things would of been easier to stick with 2 BUT I know I would
    Of always wondered what might of been and not sure if I’d of gotten over not having another with how I was feeling. And it wasn’t just a few months it was a good couple of yrs of going back and forth trying to decide what to do, it was deffinatley not rushed into and I’d waited until I felt I wasn’t just trying for a girl but there was always that quiet hope in the back of my mind.
    I just hope we will still manage our holidays, I’ll save harder if I have too, I’d hate for my kids to miss out because I wanted one more, also a holiday to look forward to keeps me sane!
     
  2. Sander

    Sander Well-Known Member

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    Thank you twinklestar, I read your responses to my post as well. I think with time I’ll come around to the idea, I did with DS1, so I’m sure I will with this baby too.

    You seem like you’re handling your emotions with this 3rd boy so well. I read this quote the other day that said your money will return but your time won’t (referring to putting experiences and life above money). I thought it was nice, and I’m sure even if a third baby puts additional strain on your finances, the great moments you’ll have with your newest little man will make it all worth it.

    Plus with the age gap your older boys will be able to help so much! And your littlest one will just idolize them I’m sure.

    When these kids are born I’m sure all of the worry/doubt/guilt will melt away. It’s just hard for us now because we’re hormonal and (speaking for myself) haven’t really bonded with baby yet.

    Hugs :)
     
  3. twinklestar25

    twinklestar25 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for your thoughtful reply, it really does help. I think I I’d prepared myself so much that this would be a boy, I hardly allowed myself to think about the other. I did get abit ahead of myself after my 12 weeks scan when I thought it may of been girly but soon rained myself in after posting to nub pages and getting boy guesses. That was a little sting at the time but I think it also helped prepare me, otherwise had I gone off my thoughts alone, I may of had high hopes for a girl at our gender scan and likely been alot more disappointed.
    It will take some time for definite, I’m still in a little shock when I think of 3 boys or 3 kids full stop really! But have room for 1 more in our life, even though it means adjustments, I’m hoping it will be fun!

    I felt sad when I thought of the baby days been behind me, never getting to go through it all again, breast feed or any of it, even though the hard parts scare me! This was it, do or don’t last chance and when you really want too it’s so hard not too! So I felt we could fit one more in and who knows it could be a girl! But never the less we have our 3rd boy and I’m sure it will all be just right when he’s here. However at the moment in these early days of our scan I still have panicky moments about the whole thing. But I do know we will love this baby and do our best for all of our children, I’ve always been scared of the jump to 3 hence the age gap but (crazily maybe) wanted to jump in anyway! So now we have to make it the best we can.
     
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  4. bobster

    bobster 2 perfect boys

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    Just had to reply as your post resonated with my own life so much. I have 2 lovely boys but always longed for a girl. I had awful gender disappointment after finding out the second was a boy and I hated being pregnant. I felt panicky and anxious and depressed at the thought of not loving him. Then as soon as he popped out I fell instantly in love and felt such relief. He’s such a different character to ds1 which is really nice. All of your boys will have different identities and you will love your new boys new character it just feels so detached before they are here.

    I also was deliberating for ages about whether to have a third for all the same reasons. My hubby agreed but he only did it for me and in the hope I’d get my daughter. The full extent of GD has come out since ds2 and hubby is the only one who understands. All of my friends have at least one girl so I don’t feel anyone else understands.

    I am pregnant now and find out on the 19th but I’m so scared about my hope ending. I’m trying not to have too much hope like you but it’s hard. I don’t want to say good bye to the dream of a daughter as it’s definitely no more for us after this (also 33 and financially).

    Anyway just wanted to say I’m sorry you have gone through the same feelings as me as it really is so hard.
     
  5. twinklestar25

    twinklestar25 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks bobster, good luck for your scan x
     

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