twinklestar25
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- Mar 10, 2011
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Interesting to come back in here & see I’m not alone in my thoughts for a 4th! I wanted to get my own thread/thoughts down & welcome any opinions/experience.
so after 2yrs agonising about a 3rd which was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make we finally gave into the relentless longing for another! He’s now 6 months & yep wish I’d of done it sooner!
As I’m now in the position of do I have a 4th for him to have a sibling close in age. There’s 6&9 yrs between the big 2 & the baby. It’s great at the moment, they’re interested in him & want to hold him/play with him but also go off & do their own thing together or apart.
The 3rd also adds another play mate, if either of them are bored they have another brother to play with & thyeve said that themselves, so that’s nice.
I’m glad for the gap for making adding another abit easier as they understand & whilst I don’t often ask them to help (bit of a complex from my childhood being the eldest child) they want to do some things & will grab sumit or wait abit till I can do what they want etc
But I’m sure when they reach their teens they prob won’t be as interested & youngest may start to feel the effects of the gap more.
I know there would probably be pros & cons to that too.
Our eldest has the type of personality where he likes to be playing with someone more than by himself where as our middle will happily play alone or with someone.
Our youngest although early, appears to be similar in personality to our eldest, which means he likes a lot of attention/entertaining. So I wonder if he would benefit from a sibling closer in age.
it wound probably be easier on us to stick with the 3, I know when I take 1 child to do something how much easier it is (for the most part) no arguing/disagreements/wanting to do diff things, going in diff directions when young etc (thinking when the big 2 are at the stage of going out with mates & it’s just the youngest on days out etc unless I’m surprised & the big uns still want to join in, which would be lovely, they prob would now & then depending what we’re doing)
But having said all that about 1 being easier, it’s also lovely when I see my big 2 playing together, working something out together, talking about school, having someone to play with on holiday/days out/at home etc not being as much pressure to arrange play dates, although eldest is starting to go to friends houses of his own arranging now!
other points for a 4th-
Makes an even number
I feel I’m missing out abit on the baby dats/mat leave at the moment with all this Coronavirus & lockdown! So might be nice to get to have that time once more.
Bigger family hopefully more support & strong relationships
We have 3 boys so tiny possibility for a girl but can’t see it really!
Being totally honest I’d be a little nervous about 4 boys! But I was about 3 boys & it’s fine, I was still happy to have either. It’s everyone else’s opinions that’s the problem. And my 2 big Boys have similar interests so in a lot of ways it’s better, although it’s always a nice thought although a little scary! to experience having a daughter.
I have everything from my current baby so wouldn’t need much.
kinda feels like, well we’re bringing 1 baby Up, might aswell add another at the same time with a 2.5-3yr gap (prob 2yr 9 month-2.10 yr gap if fell right away)
we would need to extend or move
Need 7 seater car (might need in future with growing kids anyway, not sure if would manage with a 5 seater when there big teens)
Obvs more childcare costs & general expense
Holidays- more expensive now anyway, already need 2 rooms apart from the odd hotel that sleep 5 to a room, when middle is 12/13 won’t be an option anymore anyway. So might*? Not make that much difference. & May even benefit from 2 free child places wen big 2 are over 12 & we’re taking 2 rooms.
I had to have a section last time due to low placenta- they say it might not happen
again but everything I read say the Risk is increased.
I didn’t really want to be having babies past 30ish but I was so indecisive for the 3rd it ended up a bigger gap & couple yrs older than would of liked. I’m 34 just turned. I just kept thinking I’d rarther another with a gap that not have one at all. & what’s the difference of 1-2yrs older & being done at 36 (if have 4th) instead of 32-35 (depending if stuck at 3 being a smaller gap between 2nd-3rd or still went for a 4th 2-3yrs later)
so those are my thoughts, will see what next yr brings!
so after 2yrs agonising about a 3rd which was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make we finally gave into the relentless longing for another! He’s now 6 months & yep wish I’d of done it sooner!
As I’m now in the position of do I have a 4th for him to have a sibling close in age. There’s 6&9 yrs between the big 2 & the baby. It’s great at the moment, they’re interested in him & want to hold him/play with him but also go off & do their own thing together or apart.
The 3rd also adds another play mate, if either of them are bored they have another brother to play with & thyeve said that themselves, so that’s nice.
I’m glad for the gap for making adding another abit easier as they understand & whilst I don’t often ask them to help (bit of a complex from my childhood being the eldest child) they want to do some things & will grab sumit or wait abit till I can do what they want etc
But I’m sure when they reach their teens they prob won’t be as interested & youngest may start to feel the effects of the gap more.
I know there would probably be pros & cons to that too.
Our eldest has the type of personality where he likes to be playing with someone more than by himself where as our middle will happily play alone or with someone.
Our youngest although early, appears to be similar in personality to our eldest, which means he likes a lot of attention/entertaining. So I wonder if he would benefit from a sibling closer in age.
it wound probably be easier on us to stick with the 3, I know when I take 1 child to do something how much easier it is (for the most part) no arguing/disagreements/wanting to do diff things, going in diff directions when young etc (thinking when the big 2 are at the stage of going out with mates & it’s just the youngest on days out etc unless I’m surprised & the big uns still want to join in, which would be lovely, they prob would now & then depending what we’re doing)
But having said all that about 1 being easier, it’s also lovely when I see my big 2 playing together, working something out together, talking about school, having someone to play with on holiday/days out/at home etc not being as much pressure to arrange play dates, although eldest is starting to go to friends houses of his own arranging now!
other points for a 4th-
Makes an even number
I feel I’m missing out abit on the baby dats/mat leave at the moment with all this Coronavirus & lockdown! So might be nice to get to have that time once more.
Bigger family hopefully more support & strong relationships
We have 3 boys so tiny possibility for a girl but can’t see it really!
Being totally honest I’d be a little nervous about 4 boys! But I was about 3 boys & it’s fine, I was still happy to have either. It’s everyone else’s opinions that’s the problem. And my 2 big Boys have similar interests so in a lot of ways it’s better, although it’s always a nice thought although a little scary! to experience having a daughter.
I have everything from my current baby so wouldn’t need much.
kinda feels like, well we’re bringing 1 baby Up, might aswell add another at the same time with a 2.5-3yr gap (prob 2yr 9 month-2.10 yr gap if fell right away)
we would need to extend or move
Need 7 seater car (might need in future with growing kids anyway, not sure if would manage with a 5 seater when there big teens)
Obvs more childcare costs & general expense
Holidays- more expensive now anyway, already need 2 rooms apart from the odd hotel that sleep 5 to a room, when middle is 12/13 won’t be an option anymore anyway. So might*? Not make that much difference. & May even benefit from 2 free child places wen big 2 are over 12 & we’re taking 2 rooms.
I had to have a section last time due to low placenta- they say it might not happen
again but everything I read say the Risk is increased.
I didn’t really want to be having babies past 30ish but I was so indecisive for the 3rd it ended up a bigger gap & couple yrs older than would of liked. I’m 34 just turned. I just kept thinking I’d rarther another with a gap that not have one at all. & what’s the difference of 1-2yrs older & being done at 36 (if have 4th) instead of 32-35 (depending if stuck at 3 being a smaller gap between 2nd-3rd or still went for a 4th 2-3yrs later)
so those are my thoughts, will see what next yr brings!
