Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm...?

[EpdTTC]

They don't really know why. The Dr said he was surprised because my hcg was so high initially and that usually when that number is high in the beginning the pregnancy does well. They are going to do some blood tests to check for autoimmune issues to make sure there is not some bigger reason as to why this happened. Usually early miscarriage is due to some sort of chromosomal abnormality but there is no way to know for sure. I just hope there isn't something wrong with me and that I will be able to carry. Even though this was early, I am/was only about 5 wks, it hurts a lot more than I ever could have anticipated. I now have a better understanding of your pain Lizzie Moon. I feel so depressed. I know I will recover, but right now, it really sucks.

 

[LunaBean]

It's good that ur doc is doing tests, it could be something as easy as adding an aspirin a day if your endometrium lining was too thin for it to implant properly, think that's why I keep miscarrying. Hope you get to the bottom of it, try and sleep as much as you can, I'm always really tired, and go straight to A&E if you start bleeding through more than a pad an hour. Hope ur ok, it does get better, but I still get days I don't even wana get out of bed, so if you need to stay in bed (work permitting) you should

 

[EpdTTC]

Thanks Lizzie Moon, it is nice to hear from someone who has been through it. I have been so tired and have slept more than usual and I have been very blue, today was the first day in three days that I actually took a bath and left the house. I called off of work today and spent time with my mom and my girlfriend, just being low key. Between the cramps and being on pain killers and the emotional distress, I just couldn't pull it together to teach today. Anyway...it looks like you are in the TWW again! Fingers crossed for you. My Dr. said I should wait until my next period to do the clomid and IUI again. He did say I will likely ovulate again in two weeks though. I am wondering if I should try on my own in the interim. Have you always tried again immediately or have you waited until your period after the miscarriage to begin again?
Erin

 

[Trippymama]

Lizzie Moon mentioned the daily Aspirin, and my friend who is an OBGYN nurse said that taking Aspirin and some Robitussin 4-5 days before ovulation really helps with mucus and conception. Do any of you know about this? And, I know this is a probably a ridiculous question but since I'm new here.... I'm assuming that TWW is Two Week Waiting, and I am thinking that BFP means a positive pregnancy test.. but what does it stand for? AF is Aunt Flo? It's a cool language, but I can't figure it all out.

Thanks ladies! -Trippy

 

[Nimyra]

Hi Trippy,

Personally, I recommend avoiding the Robitussin. The ingredient in there that thins mucus is Guafesin (probably not spelled right). I took guafesin once during my fertile periods and it gave me heart palpitations and a lot of anxiety. Apparently that is a side effect. I really regretted my decision to use it. Grapefruit juice, consumed in large quantities the week up to ovulation, supposedly has the same effect, minus the yucky side effects.

 

[LunaBean]

I'm not actually in the 2ww this month, because I ovulated over valentines weekend, we were away for the weekend, so had no donors!!!!! I'm so annoyed, but nothing could be done!

I tried straight away after both my miscarriages, my doctor said there's no harm in it, they sometimes just like you to wait so you know your dates, but when you're temping and charting and can pinpoint your ovulation to the day, it doesn't matter so much.

 

[RubyRainbows]

Erin, so sorry to hear your news. This whole process has so many ups & downs. I know you will soon be on an "up" again... ! Please hang in there! We are all rooting for you!

I think there are lots of BFP's waiting right around the corner for all of us!

 

[RubyRainbows]

Trippy -- we are (sorta) neighbors! I live in northeast Pennsylvania! BFP means "Big Fat Positive" by the way. Somewhere on this forum there is a post that explains all the lingo & acronyms... it helped me out alot when i first joined.

I went for an initial consultation with a fertility doctor. The first step she wanted me to take was to go for blood work. So, i did that on Friday. Next step is to go for some procedure to check my fallopian tubes i think she said. I forget the name of it... some really long name. They will insert dye & do an U/S i think. I have to go for that approx. 10 days after the first day of my period. So i scheduled it for this Tuesday (Feb. 23). After that she will prescribe clomid & make arrangements for IUI. I chose which donor i want to use from an online sperm bank that the doctor recommended. This time the clinic uses a tank that can stay frozen for 14 days... which is much better since last time i tried at-home insemination & my poor little spermies started defrosting on me after 5 days! Grrrr! HOWEVER, the doc recommended i lose weight first. I know that is ideal... but it's cetainly going to slow the process down! Plus i'm not doing very well with following a diet!

 

[Trippymama]

So, my timing wasn't off at all during my first "guess" month. I just figured out that my cycle is about 35 days, and therefore (despite the crappy ovulation sticks that said it was day 23-24) I assume I ovulated on day 21. We inseminated on day 18 and 20 and 23, so I'm not sure what I did wrong. Maybe I didn't ovulate. I just don't know. Anyway AF got me, and now I'm on day 2 again. This is like a game of Candyland. You get going and just when you think you are almost there, you get sent back home. UGH! I am so impressed with those of you who are so patient about this very aggravating guessing game.

Though I love my partner more than anything, sometimes I wish I could just do this the old fashioned way and have someone there to "produce" and have fun with every day. But, I'll refrain from a pity party, since I had that day before yesterday when I saw the first signs of the red monster. And, not only did she come but she brought horrible cramps with her, reminding me... no taunting me that it didn't work. ****SCREAM****

Okay, much better. So, this month I'm going to chart everything and try to get in tune with my body. I, too, need to drop some weight, but I intend to do it slowly as I inseminate. I refuse to stop trying. Also, I asked my donor (who is a very close friend) if I could test his sperm motility. He said he wasn't worried about it, which equalled no. Now, I'm wondering since I had the tube test done a few years ago and it was fine, if the sperm is the problem. I hope not, but I guess I truly did expect it to happen the first time around. I know... ridiculous. I'm 34, and the computer says that if everything is perfect I have a 10-15 percent chance every cycle. That's not much!

So, I'm at school during my planning period, and I just thought I'd say hello! I love this forum.

 

[Nimyra]

It's a numbers game, Trippy. You have to keep playing the baby lotto 'til you win.

It seems lame that your donor isn't willing to get tested. A lot of women (using sperm banks) switch donors if they don't get pregnant within 3 or 4 months of trying. It might be worth finding a back up donor just in case.

sorry the witch got you. We've all been there. Nothing makes you more insane than this TTC business...

 

[Nimyra]

It's a numbers game, Trippy. You have to keep playing the baby lotto 'til you win.

It seems lame that your donor isn't willing to get tested. A lot of women (using sperm banks) switch donors if they don't get pregnant within 3 or 4 months of trying. It might be worth finding a back up donor just in case.

sorry the witch got you. We've all been there. Nothing makes you more insane than this TTC business...

 

[Trippymama]

You are right Em, I'm sure. It will just take a few months. And, I do have another willing donor that's much younger. He's 18/19 vs. the one I'm using now that's 37. However, when I think about who I want to tell the child is his/her father, the one I'm using now is preferable, mostly because of maturity. That's why we chose a known donor, because I want my child to know his/her father. Also, I don't think guys like to be told their "stuff" isn't working, because it seemed weird to me that he would mind me testing it either. I think the idea of trying 3-4 more months is perfect and then I will switch. I've also signed up for fostering/adopting a baby in my area, and there are many. I'm going to use this as a back up plan. Congrats on your pregnancy. How long did it take you? I can't believe women have done this every month for years. I can't even imagine that crazy journey. Well, I'm on day 2 now, and I'm just going to relax and enjoy life for another two weeks until it's time to be up and inseminating again. Thanks for the response!

 

[LunaBean]

Yea I think guys are surprised when it doesn't work first time! I though it's work first time for me, and having been pregnant twice in 4 months, it's hard, but we'll get there eventually!! I think you should try awhile before even getting him tested, because I've had months where everything was timed to a T, and it still didn't work! It's just a case of getting lucky I guess! It does make me mad that heterosexual couples have it much easier than us, what what can you do?! I oved over Valentines weekend, and no doubt of OH was a boy, Id have gotten pregnant! I'm geting veryyy impatient, I'm having a break in June too because we go on holiday on 23rd, and don't wana be in the 2ww while we're away, hopefully I'll be pregnant by then tho! Even tho I should have a 2 week old by then.

 

[Nimyra]

Trippy, I got lucky the 2nd month of trying with a donor, but went through about 8 months of trying with my husband (and going insane) before we discovered that he had a problem. I'm in my late twenties.

I think fostering/adopting sounds exciting too. I want to foster or adopt later once my living situation is more stable (we may have to move in a couple of years).

 

[RubyRainbows]

Fostering & possibly adopting is a wonderful idea! I used to work as a child welfare caseworker with kids in foster care. Currently, i teach parenting to families & teen moms... so often work with kids in foster care now as well, but in a different capacity. I would love to do that someday too... but right now i need to work full-time to afford the new house we recently bought! Plus, i think it would be extremely hard to get attached to babies/children that may end up going home with their parents. On the other hand, i have seen many childless couples end up with 1, 2, even 3 children after fostering-to-adopt!

 

[LunaBean]

Adopting is such a longggg process here, maybe 3 years before you're even approved!!! We were approved to foster, starting the training soon because OH couldn't take every tuesday off work for 8 weeks. I know I'll wana keep them all!

 

[Trippymama]

So, yes, we have a friend at our local DSS that is helping us find that baby fit for us. We're looking for an infant that either comes from a limited mother or from a mother that has had other children taken away. Those rarely return to their birth family. Sometimes many siblings are taken away, and the adoptive home cannot take any more. That would be a great situation for us so that we can keep siblings in touch. I feel awful wishing for these things, but I believe all children deserve a happy, healthy home.

I'd really like to have a birth child, but when I was a teenager I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. I know... I was a complete idiot then. But, I worry because I never got preggo. I should have. It could have been him, but something has just stuck with me about that. I've only tried inseminating one month now, but I'm pretty sure my timing was right so I'll just keep trying. I did ditch my ovulation sticks... I hate those things, and now I'm using one of the Ovulation computers. They are awesome because they measure your estrogen and LH surge. And, the egg comes up on the screen so there's no misinterpreting the results. I'm a writer, not a scientist... so I need the easiest method.

Anyway, I'm really glad to have met you cool women on here. Your experience has helped me so much.

Hope everyone is having a great day. Peace from the Day 3 Lady....

 

[Trippymama]

I'm on day 7... let's try this again. I heard yesterday that BMI influences fertility greatly. I've got to check into this, because I'm a bit overweight. How is everyone else doing?

 

[EpdTTC]

Hey Trippy,
I am over weight also and not in a 5-10 lbs kind of way. I am about a size 16-18. I didn't have any trouble getting pregnant but as you know I did miscarry and I worry that my weight has something to do with that. Then again, there are plenty of big, beautiful women that have gotten pregnant and successfully carried a pregnancy. In fact, more plus size women have been successful than those who have not. With that being said, I'm sure that it certainly can't hurt for me to continue to work on my weight and begin to exercise, even if just a little. In one of my books it says that women who exercise are 40% less likely to miscarry. I got on my treadmill today for the first time in a long time. I see my Dr. on Saturday and I am going to talk to him about my weight and see what he says. Frankly, I'm surprised he hasn't mentioned it before, but he hasn't. I'll let you know what he says.
EPD

 

[Trippymama]

I so understand where you are coming from... I wear a size 20 usually. I'm working on it though. I grew up in the south though, where gravy and biscuits were a part of daily life. So was being a mother though. It's difficult because where I'm from you really aren't a woman without being a mother, and I guess this factored in to me adopting my three children. Now that time has passed, I still want so badly to have a baby. I don't know why I'm so worried that it won't happen for me. There's no real reason that I feel this way, and now I have two very willing donors, one who will be around for a few years for college and will help us as long as we need it. So, I shouldn't stress. It's just that we have this beautiful nursery that's attached to our bedroom that just sits there waiting for the baby to complete it. My best friend at school is about 6 months preggo now, and one of my high school students is pregnant and having an abortion. It's just all so much to take in. You know, whoever said that women have a clock that goes off in their bodies is so right. When I turned 30, my body started telling me it was time. Now it just seems empty somewhere with no baby to hold. I'm not really as sad as this post sounds, but women who just get preggo easily or don't care about having children don't understand what it's like to really want a baby so badly. We'll keep working at it together though. I love this forum. I check it multiple times a day, because I've been looking for a place to connect with others who are on this journey.