Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm...?

[RubyRainbows]

Would love to read your articles and/or stories --- such a crazy process this whole making babies thing is!

 

[LunaBean]

Well beainie is still hanging in there up to now! Hope everyone had a good easter!!!

 

[EpdTTC]

Just checking in...

I'm 9/10 dpo right now. I don't know whether to count it as 9 or 10 days post ovulation since I think I ovulated at about 1:00 or 2:00 am on Sunday March 28th. Some days I think this could be the month and some days I don't. I have had a lot of crampy tugging sensations, both in the middle and on each side (even the side I did not ovulate from). Did a cheapie dollar store test yesterday and was BFN. I don't know why I do that to myself. On one hand it just bums be out and makes me lose hope and then on the other hand I just tell myself, oh, well it's too early anyway! WTF! Last time I got a positive on a dollar store cheapie at 8 dpo. But I have to keep telling myself, things were not normal last time. My hcg was 776 at 8 dpo which is totally bizarre. Most women's hcg is barely detectable by a home pregnancy test at 12-14 dpo (it is usually like 25-50) ...I really think I got pregnant with multiples last time...3-4 maybe..and that my body just couldn't handle it. So, I have to remind myself that if I do get pregnant again, it is not going to look like last time. I may not get a positive until 14 dpo...my boobs may not start to hurt until then too...ugh..the two week wait sucks.

This is my fifth month of trying. Two at home months, one unmedicated IUI, and two IUI's with Clomid. I'm starting to get nervous that if it doesn't happen soon that my donor will give up on me.

Either way, I will know on Friday if I am out this month. I see RE for a beta test at 11:30 am and should have the results a couple of hours later. But...you know I'll torture myself with HPTs until then!

Hope everyone else is hanging in there!
EPD

 

[LunaBean]

I have everything crossed for you! 14dpo is usually when people get a good positive, 10dpo is still quite early! I'm still not getting anything more than squinter lines lol. Good luck for Friday! I hate waiting too, I keep checking for blood every 5 mins!

 

[RainbowMum]

Keeping my fingers crossed for both of you

We're not even TTC for another what...8-10 months and I'm already havin nightmares how it's all going to work out without having to tell my employers. The job I'm in means I can't just take a couple of hours/half a day off here and there, so no idea how I would make it to any appointments/inseminations on a work day since the latest appointments are at 4:30 and I work until 6:30
I start working at 7:30, so can't even make the earliest appoinments at 8ish

 

[LunaBean]

could you not shedule them at the weekend maybe? or tell ur boss you have a few dental appointments for a root canal or something?!

 

[Nimyra]

I had my 20 week ultrasound today (at 19 weeks). Overall everything looked good except the doc scared the crap out of me by telling me that the baby has a choroid plexus cyst which is not a problem in and of itself (occurs in 1-3% of normal fetuses), however it is a "soft marker" for trisomy 18, a very serious chromosomal abnormality. Basically the risk increases from 1 in 3,000 to 1 in 300. This is according to google - the doc at the hospital (not my normal OBGYN) was scarier - suggesting we could do amnio to find out for certain - which I absolutely refuse to do because there is 3% chance of miscarriage and odd are the baby is healthy anyway.

Anyway... logically I know that probably the baby is fine and the cyst doesn't mean anything (no other markers were found) - but I'm freaking out a bit anyway... I wish the hospital doc hadn't said anything at all!

Also she said that my placenta is fairly low-lying - it will probably move on its own, (85% of the time it does) but if it doesn't then I'd have to have a C-section.

Probably this is all nothing to worry about - I don't know if this is hard to read about when you are in the 2WW or otherwise focused on the getting pregnant part - but i feel closer to you all then the ladies in 2nd tri.

The good news is that we are having a girl! OH and I were both hoping for a princess. Praying she will be a healthy girl.

 

[LunaBean]

Congrats on your baby girl!!!! Thats brilliant news! I wouldnt worry too much about everything else, my sis was told thre was a problem when she was pregnant with my niece and was offered an amnio too and she refused, and she was born perfectly fine! Googling is the worst thing you can do! Im never off the thing lol. Try not to worry too much, these things usually sort themselves out, they just like to give you a heads up just incase!!!

 

[EpdTTC]

Em-that is upsetting. I'm sorry that you had to go through that. Sometimes doctors say things so matter of factly and don't think about how it impacts us. I hope that it is nothing to be worried about and that they are just trying to do their job by telling you about the worst possible case scenario and offering you an amnio so that if something should go wrong that you can't come back and say someone should have done offered you one.

I am so excited for you that you are getting your girl! Funny...I had a feeling about this and I almost sent you a text last week that said, I think you are having a girl! Now, I wish I would have sent it!

I'm losing hope for this cycle. Was really optimistic during the first week of tww, but now that it's getting closer to beta test and AF and I'm not really having any new symptoms, I'm just losing hope and feeling really sad. I feel like it's never gonna happen for me.

I'm here if you want to talk. Stay off of the Internet. That's what my docs office told me when I was having my miscarriage. I about drove myself nuts looking stuff up. It was torture.
EPD

 

[Nimyra]

Aw, Erin, it will happen. If not this month then soon. Your donor is wonderful and he wont give up on you! It's just really frustrating. Remember some of the women on here tried for over a year before getting their lucky BFP - I hope it won't take that long, but don't give up hope. You are gonna be one terrific mommy. It will happen.

Thanks for the sympathy. My OBGYN returned my phone call later this afternoon. I her so much! She was so reassuring - she said that while technically what the hospital doc said is true, my risk is probably lower than 1 in 300 'cause of my age. She told me not to worry about it and I've resolved to just put it out of my mind and forget the hospital doc even said anything. It's just hard not to get worked up in the moment.

She also said that probably my placenta will move, but if not, then a c-section is what it will have to be and there is no sense in stressing about that either. She said I should call back if I find myself worrying more.

Anyway - must stop the insanity and be stronger than the inner worry monster. My heart and gut is saying that this baby is going to be fine - so that is what I am going to listen to.

And yeah, I'm thrilled it is going to be a girl!

hugs to everyone.

 

[RubyRainbows]

Em -- Congrats on your baby girl!! I am glad to hear about your pregnancy & baby -- please continue to update us! I enjoy hearing success stories, after all, that's the outcome we are all hoping for on this thread!!!

I think it is wonderful that you are being so positive & optimistic. I wish i had just relaxed & enjoyed my pregnancy more! I worried all the time & was fanatical! I had 14 ultrasounds in total bc i was a nervous wreck! I had opted to have the Quad Screen done & at 17 weeks i was told my son was "at risk" for Down Syndrome. I also decided to not have the amnio, even tho that was the only way to know for sure. I was also too afraid of the chance of miscarriage. They told me he had a 1:17 chance of having DS! But that there is a high rate of false positives with the test! It lead to needless worry for the whole second half of my pregnancy. My son was born perfectly healthy & DOES NOT have DS.

Do you have any names picked out for your little pink bundle??

Erin, you're not out yet... still rooting for you & keeping my fingers crossed!! Hoping you get your BFP this month!

Lizzie -- so happy to hear you & baby bean are doing well!!!

I started emailing a guy online who said he is willing to be a donor & have no future involvement. He lives over 2 hours away. My girlfriend thinks it's weird & creepy to meet a stranger from the computer & is not at all supportive. He suggested meeting half way for coffee & getting to know each other first. He is 46... do you think that is too old???

 

[Nimyra]

46 isn't too old! then again, my OH is 42 so I'm biased. Meeting for coffee in a public place is a very good idea. I did that before using my donor.

 

[EpdTTC]

Mommy Tammy,
I don't think 46 is too old. Age can have some impact on sperm quality but it certainly doesn't always-just like women and eggs. I'd consider having a semen analysis done if you decide to go with him just so you don't waste any time, yours or his. Before I met my current donor, who ran in my same circle professionally, I talked to a couple of guys online. My mom and OH thought it was a little weird and I know that to most it seems pretty creepy. However, I also know that in talking to them, they were really nice guys, both gay men who wanted to help out a lesbian ttc. If I hadn't experienced talking to them myself, I might think it is creepy but having done it, there are some great men out there. I know that Em will also attest to the fact that their are some creeps out there too so you have to be careful. If your OH isn't willing to go with you to meet him, maybe you should consider taking a friend with you, just for your own comfort and safety. Good luck, I hope it turns out to be a good match!
Erin

 

[Nimyra]

MommyTammy, thanks for sharing the story about your son. I think it was brave of you to hold your ground about the amnio. Yeah, sure, there are some creeps online, but this really isn't any weirder than online dating and everyone does that these days! My online-found donor was terrific! Couldn't have asked for a better experience and all in all it was less potential drama than using a friend and having to educate him about the process and what to expect. I liked that my donor had done all this before and was comfortable with the implications.

 

[LunaBean]

I met all our donors online, and they were fine!!! I didnt reply to weird emails, so whittled out the weirdos lol. Em its great that you're feeling more positive!!!!

 

[RainbowMum]

Lizzie...just out of interest, do you have some good UK based donor sites?

 

[sam#3]

coparent match is one we use

 

[LunaBean]

I used co-parent match too for awhile, but hardly any donors were in my area, and none of them had paid accounts, so couldnt check their mails, so I just posted an ad on Vivastreet, and local classifieds site! Your area should have one!

 

[RainbowMum]

^^ yeah, I'm in London-there should be a few ;-)

 

[RubyRainbows]

My brother's girlfriend was taken from her doc's office by ambulance today... to a hospital that specializes in high risk deliveries! Her blood pressure is very high & lots of swelling. She may have to be delivered this weekend due to preeclampsia. She is only 28 weeks preggo!