Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm...?

[topazicatzbet]

stick with it hun because among to wierdos there are some great generous men.

obviously the ones wanting natural conception go straight in the bin.
i would reccomend you try and get some one within a reasonable distance from you. my donor is just over an hours drive away which is perfect, i drive there 3 days on the trot.

i got offers from over seas too, one guy offered for me to go stay with him and his wife for the week in spain

i would suggest you discuss finances too, my friend tried someone who was just claiming travel costs but they were greatly over exagerated.

 

[snagglepat]

Do keep at the donor search. After we'd exhausted our list of friends we placed an ad on a gay parenting site (this was in 2004 and it doesn't exist any more) and we had 8 responses in the end. Only two were in any way worthy of consideration and of those two, once we'd met up with them one of them was straight in the bin as well. But that last guy - he's stuck with us for 6 years, a total of 20 cycles of inseminations (so around 40 donations with an hours drive each way for him each time) for two children and has been completely reliable, respectful and stayed true to his word throughout. The gems do exist but finding them can be a challenge.

And fresh sperm does live a lot longer than frozen so it gives you so much more flexibility when it comes to arranging inseminations. Last time we tried our donor was about to go overseas for a week so he donated to us the evening before he left. I ovulated three days later but yet here I am wearing very unflattering elasticated trousers and feeling wriggles in my belly as I type this. I did have good fertile mucus when we inseminated which I'm sure made a massive difference to the lifespan of the sperm, but even so, three days is pretty impressive. I honestly didn't believe I could have got pregnant that cycle until I started getting feelings I hadn't had since I was pregnant last time and did a test, so I'm living proof that fresh sperm definitely improves your chances.

Topaz - a trip to Spain might be fun. And it would only feel slightly strange living with your donor and his wife wouldn't it? How bizarre!

Good luck to all,

Gina. x

 

[EpdTTC]

Great story Gina! It really amazing how long those little buggers can live isn't it?

 

[LunaBean]

Another loss for me girls I'm gona have a break from BnB for awhile, so don't worry if I'm not around much, I'll come back to see how the bumps/ttc journeys are going tho

 

[topazicatzbet]

oh im so sorry.

 

[snl41296]

i just posted about a very good friend of ours is willing to help out. fresh sperm too. I will get it in a cup from him and then insert it inside me with a 5ml syringe. I am hoping it will work. we have been trying for sometime now and nothing has been happening. we have a beautiful DD who is 3 yrs old and it happened very fast 2nd month trying this time around nothing. =/ you woman inspire me all. and I love reading all stories

 

[Nimyra]

I'm so sorry, Luna. It really isn't fair. Are you still going to be getting the fertility testing done or just take a break from everything?

 

[snl41296]

Another loss for me girls I'm gona have a break from BnB for awhile, so don't worry if I'm not around much, I'll come back to see how the bumps/ttc journeys are going tho

so sorry

 

[RubyRainbows]

Aaww Gina! Your post made me smile from ear to ear! Glad you're feeling that little wriggly baby in there!!!!!! According to the theories -- you should be having a girl right?? Since you inseminated a few days before ovulation?? Will you be finding out soon what you're having?

snl -- congrats on finding a donor! You are now on your way to making a baby!!!!!!!!!!!

The guy i messaged on FB finally responded! He apologizied for the (couple day) delay & said he was on vacation. He said he will "ask around" to see if any of his friends would like to be a donor! Lol. So... i guess he's not interested! But at least he responded.... it's something!

Luna -- big hugs to you. I'm so sorry this has happened to you again. It's just not fair. Sorry for your loss. Please PM me if you need anything!

 

[snagglepat]

Luna, I'm so, so sorry to hear of your loss. Know we are here whenever you want to return, and please look after yourself in the mean time.

Ruby, at least you heard back from your potential KD. Fingers crossed he helps to find you Mr Right.

We won't be finding out the gender in advance, no. We prefer the surprise, well, DP does and as much as I would really like to know I really want to announce the gender at the birth so if I did find out I'd have to keep it a secret and I'm rubbish at that. So no. It's guess work all the way here. Timing-wise we are more likely to have a girl, but I did have an orgasm this time which I've since read increases the acidity of mucus making it a more favourable environment for boy sperm. I didn't have an orgasm when we conceived our daughter. All the old wives tales, including bump shape, heart rate and pregnancy symptoms point to a boy, but the scan we had at 11w 3d showed a downward pointing nub - this might have been too early to tell though. Gah! My instinct says girl more than boy. Anyone care to hazard a guess?

Snl, great news about your donor! Fingers crossed it will work for you before long.

How are things going Em?

Gina. x

 

[cdun1980]

This website is proving very helpful. AF finally arrived so I will be starting insemination this cycle. Hopefully I don't go through what I did this last cycle, which was 48 days long (although I was under a lot of stress). I will probably try 24 hours after my positive OPK since this seems like a good time. I have the CBFM and regular test strips as well because I want something that I can read with my own eyes.

I will update everyone later, but I will be reading in the meantime!

-Cindy

 

[RubyRainbows]

Wow Gina -- you have great will power! I would never ever be able to wait to find out! I had a hard enough time waiting to find out at 20 weeks with my son!!!!!!! I can picture you having another girl -- two pretty little princesses!!

Hi Cindy! :wave: Best of luck -- i hope this cycle is the one!! Keep us posted!

 

[rosie5637]

hi ladies hope you're all keeping well!

another opinion needed here. i've been e-mailing another potential donor. he states that he will only do AI which is great, he seems quite experienced. he sent me a list of questions about myself in order to establish if he could help me (i thought i was meant to be the picky one!). i asked him for a picture and he didn't send one and said that he'd explain his picture policy when he phones me. is that usual? what do you think he'll say? he wanted me to send him a photo
i haven't given him my phone number yet.

 

[Nimyra]

Rosie,
I'm curious what his picture policy is, exactly, but a phone call doesn't seem like much harm. If you are nervous about giving out your number, you could always use a friend's phone or something. I don't think it's necessarily a red flag, but you'd have to see what else he says. Feel like posting his questions up here for us to see? I don't think its bad for donors to be picky -- they should want to know that children they are helping to create will have a good mom, but if it starts to feel too invasive then it might not be the right match.

Gina,
Thanks for asking. We're doing really well. Maya is sleeping less and fussing more, but she is eating well and gaining weight like a champion. She is going back and forth between breast and bottle well - we're almost off the formula, but for middle of the night feedings I'm letting my husband give her formula to give me a break while he's here. I'm quite nervous about how things will be when he leaves again (for the rest of his deployment), but we'll manage.

 

[rosie5637]

questions as follows:

1. how old are you?
2. do you smoke?
3. what do you do for a living?
4. can you send me 1 or 2 photos of yourself?
5. tell me something about your main hobbies and interests
6. when do you hope to start the donation process?

as i typed out these questions they actually sounded quite reasonable. it's just the photo thing that got me a little worried. looks aren't everything but i don't like the thought of starting donations without seeing what he looks like in advance.
think i'll get him to ring me and see what he says.

i hope he's genuine cause he sounds ideal. for some reason i didn't think making contact with and choosing donors would be so hard.

suppose i've still got major trust issues with men!

 

[Nimyra]

those questions sound reasonable to me. I sent our donor pictures (unasked), but he had already sent us some pictures of him. Maybe he just wants to get a sense of you? The donor I used had a policy of not donating to smokers - I think he felt it was disrespectful to life or something.

 

[EpdTTC]

I think the questions sound reasonable. I will be curious to hear about his picture policy.

So glad to hear that things are going ok with baby Maya Em. I'm sure it is wonderful having John there and will be quite the adjustment again when he has to leave I will be so glad for you when he is home for good!

 

[topazicatzbet]

hope your all doing good girls. im in the 2ww again. my donor is so good bless him. went to his on cd 12,13,and 14 and usually ov on cd14, well not this cycle, cd16 and still had fertile mucus so text his if i could go again and thankfully i ov that day.

so i got 4 lots this month. hope it gets me that bfp

 

[Nimyra]

Good luck topazicat! My first cycle the donor ended up donating 4 times as well, bless him. I was really off with my dates. :S

Thanks, Erin. Sorry I've been sort of out of touch. We're honestly not sleeping much at the moment. Having John here is a godsend since he's on diaper duty, keeps the house tidy without my having to ask (!), and helps with the middle of the night feedings. I don't know that I'm going to get much sleep when he leaves. I'm starting to make plans to occupy our weeks (Mommy and Me activities), and we're trying to take daily walks now with Maya to help me get back in shape. I haven't done anything vaguely physical (besides carrying a baby and giving birth) in 9 months and I really want to be able to go back to doing aerial acrobatics (trapeze and aerial fabric dancing) which was my hobby before I became obsessed with TTC. It is going to take a while for me to get my strength back so I need to start small. I tried to do a push up the other day - it didn't work out so well. Probably by the time I'm back in my old shape I'll be ready to start inseminating again... here we go!

Are you feeling less sick? You are you going to be joining the 2nd Trimester club before you know it!

 

[EpdTTC]

Thanks Em. So sorry to hear that things are rough right now with the no sleeping. I think that part is going to be really hard for me as I love my sleep. It is hard to believe I am nearing 11 weeks. I'm so thankful everyday. I do feel a little less sick some days-it comes and goes, actually feeling kind of sick today and have a headache. When I don't feel sick-I feel worried that something is wrong. It's so crazy-but I keep telling myself it is normal for symptoms to come and go and that it is normal for me to start feeling a little better. i hear you on the whole physical activity thing. I swear, I gained a bunch of wait while TTC and through the miscarriages and I haven't been physical at all. I feel like I am already starting to show-my chunky belly is starting to be pushed out by my growing uterus. I feel like a cow...I can't imagine how I will feel by the time I deliver and getting back in shape is going to be quite the project. Good for you for tackling it! I look forward to chatting after John heads back and you get a moment to breathe!