Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm...?

[quinny23]

Hi everyone!

My wife and I tired 3 at home insemination's and they all failed. Are you using donor sperm? Like frozen, from a bank? That is what we did and I guess if I had known ahead of time how VERY little they give you, we would have saved our $$ and gone right into the clinic. The vial holds a little less than 1cc. My doctor says it is about 1/3 of 1/4 a full ejaculation. ISo if you think about it... it is only a 20% chance with normal intercourse and if you have even less and no real 'oomph'! well, your chances decrease. But maybe I am just jaded My wife is dying to go back to ICI's but I can't stomach paying that much money for such a small chance (especially since I had no idea what I was doing!!! it was straight out of a sitcom!). I hope it works for you on the first try!! Keep us posted if you decide to try at home, who knows.. if you get it, maybe we will go back! Although I am going in for an IUI on Thanksgiving.. and this is going to be my month so it won't be necessary

ahh...blind positive thinking..

If you are using a bank, which one? we use CCB and they have a great learning center/message board. You don't have to use CCB to access it but there are hundreds of same-sex couples going through this and if you dig, you will find some at home successes!

 

[quinny23]

oh jeez.. I am now to these boards and was posting a response to the very first question! In 2008!!! UGG!!! sorry to break up your conversations!!

 

[LunaBean]

Hey, have you tried using fresh sperms at home from a known donor? Thts what a few girls on here are doing, including myself, alot cheaper (free for most of us!), and you get more! Good luck!

 

[Nimyra]

Hi Quinny, welcome! So nice to see another East Coaster on here! Please check out the thread "At Home Insemination - HOW TO" at the bottom of my signature block. If you read our stories you will see that most of use ended up abandoning the sperm bank route in favor of using fresh sperm.

benefits of fresh:
- free
- more sperm available
- lasts longer
- works better

benefits of frozen:
- proof of no disease

Frozen sperm only have a 3-5% chance of working in a cycle when used at home without clomid. IUI in conjunction with clomid increase that chance to 10-20%. There is a lot of research on the internet (don't ask me for links, I did this research a year ago!). So... most of us decided to find known donors either through friends and acquaintances or through internet matching sites/message boards/ etc.

If you use a known donor be sure to use someone you trust and get current STD results! If you are set on using frozen sperm, it is worth the money (from a cost effectiveness standpoint) to shell out for IUI and fertility drugs. If you do the math, it saves money in the long run based on the odds of success.

Good luck and welcome to the board!

 

[snagglepat]

Welcome Quinny! Nimyra has posted a very thorough intro. Good luck with it all.

Lea - wow that's great news. Fingers and toes crossed that it's a sticky one for you this time. How are you feeling?

Luna, what's the next step for you after those initial results?

EPD - it seems to have come on quick, from a bulge to a serious bump that gets in the way all the time, makes it impossible to roll over in bed and feels like a sack of potatoes on my thighs whenever I sit in no time. For those who are interested, my clients on the boat gave birth on Tuesday, to a beautiful baby girl on a misty evening on an isolated bit of canal with no-one but them, me and the midwife for several miles. It was just how they wanted it - absolutely beautiful. It's my turn next...

Gina. x

 

[topazicatzbet]

oh hope the line gets nice and dark lea.

i ve been feeling sick all week, didnt get any sickness with callum.

 

[day_dreamer]

. For those who are interested, my clients on the boat gave birth on Tuesday, to a beautiful baby girl on a misty evening on an isolated bit of canal with no-one but them, me and the midwife for several miles. It was just how they wanted it - absolutely beautiful. It's my turn next...

Gina. x

Wow - reading that gave me goosebumps!! Sounds perfect

 

[day_dreamer]

Hi everyone!

My wife and I tired 3 at home insemination's and they all failed.

Hi Quinny - welcome

Just wanted to say that 3 attempts is not really very many - I read somewhere it takes the average heterosexual couple between 9-12 months to conceive on average, so for it to work for you in just 3 tries you would have been very very lucky. Ovviously there are people for whom it works that wuickly, even quicker - but just don't give up hope so soon

 

[snagglepat]

Yup. We didn't get pregnant the first time until our 18th cycle and some offline friends of mine took until their 25th. Stick with it though - you will get there in the end.

Gina. x

 

[mommies1and2]

Hi everyone! I've been out of touch lately...so tired all the time now! After putting in a full day at the office and exercising all I want to do is sleep. My OH and I laugh because by 9 pm I'm ready to go to bed! We are getting ready to leave town and spend some time with the OH's family up where it's cold...today was gorgeous here, 70 and sunny!

I bought my first maternity bra today...my regular one was already getting snug and this one is so much more comfy. I can't believe I'm in a E cup...I can hardly imagine them by the time I'm ready to breastfeed!

So, well wishes and FX'd for you all and Happy Thanksgiving! I will have to wait until we return to check in and see how you all are doing. I love the new pic Gina, you're beautiful! And Lea I so hope you get the best news soon!

 

[Tegans Mama]

Thanks everyone! I am not feeling too bad... A bit sick, and tired! Very crampy downstairs today but I was crampy from about 5dpo until 10 weeks pregnant with Tegan Achey boobs too Otherwise though I feel fine!

 

[EpdTTC]

Lea-hope those are good signs! I was crampy A LOT in the first trimester!

 

[RubyRainbows]

Wow... awesome news Lea -- congrats!! Praying for a super sticky bean!

Gina -- your bump is perfect! Love it!

Hello & welcome to all the new-comers! :wave: The more the merrier on this journey!

I haven't popped by this thread in a few days.... been feeling quite christmassy lately! Tree is up & decorated... Jayden's presents are all wrapped... And i stumbled upon Santa's Grotto on here & it's sucked me in, lol.

Made plans to meet with the donor on Tuesday. My enthusiasm is fading fast, tho. I know it's only been a few attempts, but i just feel like it's never going to happen. Guess i'm just "in a mood." My friend (who is wonderful & very supportive) said the other day, "Maybe it's just not meant to happen right now." I know she had the best of intentions when she said it... but it made me feel so sad. I'm a firm believer in destiny & fate & always believe that things happen when/how/if they are supposed to. But.... i can't just say.... "Well it will happen when it's meant to happen" bc i don't have the same opportunity as some couples who can just have sex whenever they want & hope for the best. Unfortunately, i have to plan it & "pull the strings" so to speak......... otherwise it's never going to "just happen!!!!!!!" Eh, just rambling i guess..........

 

[snagglepat]

Ruby I think you touch on something that some friends and I discussed a lot when we were trying the first time. We realised that we were able to feel much healthier in our TTC journeys by seeing it as a process rather than lots of individual make-or-break attempts. Yes, male-female couples can 'wait and see' but then, so can we, we just have to get to a point where we see scheduling an insemination or two each month as part of our normal routine, a task we have to complete in order to get to where we want to be. It's a bit more fiddly and complex, but if you can make that mental leap then it does make everything quite a bit easier. (This is of course much easier with a known donor where the financial side is more manageable as a medium/long term plan.)

I'm not sure if we ever completely got there but given that we didn't get pregnant until our 18th cycle first time we had lots of practice trying. One of our friends did. They tried all kinds of things through clinics, including several rounds of IVF, then found a known donor and just decided to chill and try every month, hoping that one day the magic would happen. It did, on their 25th month of home inseminations. I'm with you on the 'when it's meant to happen' front. Going through it, the thought of it not happening soon was unbearable, but it happened when it did because that's when our wonderful, witty and beautiful daughter was ready to join our family. Now she's here I'd do anything for her, and those three and half years of TTC are nothing compared to the joy she has brought us. I had a tarot reading early on into TTC and was told we'd get our baby in October. October came and went, then the next one, but eventually she arrived, in October, some three years later.

I know it's not the news that everyone wants to hear, especially when you're relatively early in your TTC journey. I remember loving the thought of having a baby born in 2004, then 2005... And our daughter didn't arrive until the end of 2007, but it does at least show if you can keep the faith you've got every chance of holding that baby in your arms eventually.

Good luck to everyone.

Gina. x

 

[Nimyra]

Thank you Gina. Your post brought tears to my eyes. I remember last December thinking I was going to go bonkers if I didn't get a BFP that month. Its so hard to pace oneself, and so crucial. Keep up the faith, Ruby.

 

[RubyRainbows]

Thanks girls... patience is not my strong suit! But you guys give me hope! Gina, your post is great.. well said! I relayed the message to OH that in the end, it will all be worth it!

It's been quiet around here lately -- how is everyone?? Anyone testing soon???

Lea... how are things with you?

 

[snagglepat]

We've had an interesting weekend. I was up half of Friday night with regular, painful contractions. They've eased now and my midwife was great at making me feel confident that it wasn't early labour, but it's been a strange few days. It made me realise that I'm definitely not ready to have this baby yet, even if I am getting into the big and very uncomfortable stage. However, she did tell me that from 36 weeks they wouldn't consider me to be in premature labour and would just let the baby come. That's only a month away. *gulp!*

How is everyone else?

Gina. x

 

[LunaBean]

Eek! That must have been scary!! Impatient wee baby lol.

Nothing new here!!

 

[topazicatzbet]

We've had an interesting weekend. I was up half of Friday night with regular, painful contractions. They've eased now and my midwife was great at making me feel confident that it wasn't early labour, but it's been a strange few days. It made me realise that I'm definitely not ready to have this baby yet, even if I am getting into the big and very uncomfortable stage. However, she did tell me that from 36 weeks they wouldn't consider me to be in premature labour and would just let the baby come. That's only a month away. *gulp!*

How is everyone else?

Gina. x

oh no stay put a bit longer baby.

all fine here, callum has started to walk this week so im busy chasing after him

 

[Tegans Mama]

Lea... how are things with you?

I am good! Another faint line this morning, on an FRER!

ETA my bbs are killing me though