Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm...?

[Eskimobabys]

He had a vasectomy many years ago after his kids were born and went through two unsuccessful reversal surgeries. All this happened before we met - he thought he was fertile after the 2nd surgery but was wrong (or the scar tissue built up over time). The situation is unfortunate but not terribly uncommon.

thats so sad

 

[LunaBean]

This is my angry face Becauseeee I just had a positive OPK, and I'm taking abreak, grr!! Sod's law!!! I didn't even get a positive last month and still got pregnant, now I have great lines today,and no donor of course! Well, I was secretly gona get the donor up, but he's out of town Boo I havnt been temping or anything, just had lotsssss of ewcm, an thought Id beter chart it so my FF chart doesnt get messed up for when I start again

https://i39.tinypic.com/282qjae.jpg

 

[Glass913]

Hey everyone! My wife and I are new to this forum. We bought donor sperm and had it shipped to our home, assuming I would ovulate sometime at the beginning of the week (CD 12-13). But I never got a positive reading from our OPKs. We inseminated last night for our first time on CD16 because it was the last day that our vial would stay frozen. Insemination took place at 11pm (used cervical cup w tube method), kept it in until 630am.Today we tested again for the heck of it and we got a positive reading.

We'd like to hear what you ladies think. Do you think we may have inseminated too early? We're concerned because we've read frozen sperm does not live as long as fresh sperm.

Hope to hear from you!
G and S

 

[Nimyra]

I think you still have a good shot of it working. Most of us recommend using a second method to predict ovulation (like temping) so that you'll have as good of a guess as possible month to month. It's hard with frozen sperm... you had to use it before it thawed, so all you can do is hope for the best and if it doesn't work this month, maybe next month will be the one.

Is there a sperm bank closer to you so you can just pick up the sample when you are ready to use it?

 

[RubyRainbows]

Good luck Glass! All you can do is hope for the best... keep your fingers crossed... & pray for a bit of baby dust! I learned the hard way that it really does defrost when they say it will! Mine defrosted day 5! Grrr....

Have you been charting & temping?

 

[Trippymama]

Hey all! So, Aunt Flo is now a day late but I am terrified to test. I'm overanalyzing every part of my body and its tenderness/feelings. Ugh. It's so hard to hope this much about something. Just wanted to say hello.

 

[Nimyra]

Good luck, Trippy!

 

[Trippymama]

Ugh... Aunt Flo got me just as soon as I typed the post. She came a day late just to taunt me. On to month 4. Thanks Em...

 

[Trippymama]

Has anyone tested sperm at home for quality/motility? My donor friend is willing to have his sperm tested but our doc wants three more months of trying first. Any thoughts? I'm 35 so on month 3 I'm ready to take control of the situation.

 

[LunaBean]

Id say maybe listen to your doc, it can be expensive getting everything together to test it at home, plus it can vary from month to month! I know it seems ages, but 3 months isn't that long!!

Unless you get him to go to his own doc, and dont tell your own?

 

[EpdTTC]

Trippy-
I say go to a different doctor or be more pushy! When I went to my RE he wanted me to have my donor's sperm tested before I even started trying, otherwise he said it could all be a waste of my time! I had a semen analysis done in the office and it was $150. A small price to pay for peace of mind of knowing we weren't shooting blanks up there!
Erin

 

[Glass913]

Awful cramps today. AF due on the 6th. I don't think this month is the month :-\

 

[Trippymama]

So, I'm gearing up for a new cycle. Cycle number 4.. In the beginning I had a feeling that it would take me four months, so I'm hopeful. I have to try two more months before the doc will help. Has anyone changed insurance companies or such for fertility treatment purposes?

 

[LunaBean]

I think a few people on here have tried changing companies, but you then can't apply for treatment for 6 months I think, as they caught on that people were only changing for that reason. Insurance companies also can't help unless you have a medical condition that's stopping you getting pregnant, as wanting a baby is an elective thing apparently. There's been a few threads on here about it!

AF is due on Saturday, when I'll be out with friends, so I'm not looking forward to it!

 

[momof4girls]

for those of you with a DH how did you get him to agree to use donor sperm?. my DH has such a low count and motility that our only hope is to do IVF which wont be happening anytime soon. a year ago when we found out how low his count was we talked about using DS and he somewhat agreed but said he would feel better about it if it was from a family member like maybe his brother but was too emabarrased to ask him. now a year later were talking about it again but this time he is completely against it. he does not even want to discuss it. he says he hates the fact it would be another mans baby. I dont know what to do now. any advice welcome.

 

[Nimyra]

Hi Lisa,

That's a really tough one. To be honest, I think if my DH felt like yours does, I would probably start planning for IVF with adoption as a back up plan. I say this because... having used a donor and having been successful I still have some insecurities that DH wont think of baby as his own. DH loves the baby already and I know this fear is irrational, but it probably wont go away completely until the baby is here. If DH was reluctant about our decision to use a donor I don't think I could bear it.

We considered IVF too but opted to try a donor for a year first both because of the $$ issue, and because my DH would need a surgery to even make IVF possible for us. My DH was open to using a donor from the beginning (because he sees it as akin to adoption - like adopting stray sperm - and also because we have a lot of lesbian friends so it seems more normal to us).

We didn't feel comfortable asking family (I actually feel much weirder about that than using a stranger).

In your place, I would start planning for IVF (def. don't push DH in the donor direction) - he may change his mind on his own the more he learns about IVF, but if he doesn't, that's life. In the end you both must be absolutely on board with using a donor for this to be a good situation, because the issues of how or when to tell your child, let alone other family members only get harder and if there are bad feelings about how your baby was conceived, they aren't going to just go away.

This may not be what you wanted to hear... just my opinion for what it is worth. I wish you the best of luck and feel free to PM me if you want to discuss this more off-line.

 

[lulu35]

hi, i have been doing home insemination using donor sperm from a very good friend and this is me on my third cycle....the witch got me this morning!!!!....so this month i am back to using opks....would love to chat further with you on this subject, cant pm on here but can use facebook pm if you would like to.

 

[momof4girls]

well I brought it up again today and it was a mistake once again he said he is totally against using donor sperm. he has had to love other mens children his whole life so if he is going to have a child with me he wants it to be his own blood. I do understand and im not going to push it anymore. I would feel totally weird about using a family member as donor ,so donor sperm will not be happening.

he is getting on some good insurance through his work so there is some hope for fertility treatments. my DH has a count of 16 million according to the one SA done last year. so at least he has something to work with .
so its not all doom and gloom but its getting difficult for me to think positive of it happening. thank you for listening.

 

[Nimyra]

I'm sorry, Lisa. It's hard all around. Do you know for sure if his new insurance will cover fertility treatments? Either way, starting a savings fund for dealing with these things is a great way to start planning (and to feel like you are doing something about it in the mean time). Have you looked into finding a local infertility support group like through RESOLVE. This is all very difficult, and you should definitely seek out sources of support, regardless of what path to parenthood you eventually take.

 

[momof4girls]

I dont have any support people other then online. I do not know for sure that this insurance will cover any treatments. I suppose the easier route would be to give up on my dream of having one more child. but its hard to give up when all I have thought about for 2 years is TTC.
to make it worse my 7 year old is always asking me when were gonna give her a baby brother or sister.
im so emotionally exhausted from this day. thank you for being here for me.
I really appreciate it.