Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm...?

[DaisyDoodles]

Rosie, are you in the UK??

Your potential donor sounds similar to one that we spoke to!

 

[rosie5637]

Rosie, are you in the UK??

Your potential donor sounds similar to one that we spoke to!

yeah i'm in the uk. hampshire.

wouldn't that be strange if it was the same guy!
what did the guy you spoke to say about photos? have you decided not to use him?

 

[DaisyDoodles]

He said photos weren't needed as if we were going through a clinic all we would have is a description!!

We decided to go with another donor who is really lovely, I feel so much calmer about the whole thing now!

I'm going to PM you because if it's not the same donor, then there's another on a forum that's also asking for photo's but refusing to send his that's getting a bit of bad feedback for changing his story!

 

[LunaBean]

Hope everyone in here is well, just came back to see how everyone is

 

[rosie5637]

just spoke to donor on the phone. he sounds really lovely, intelligent, doesn't mind travelling or paying for it! i'd just have to pay for a hotel unless i wanted the donations at home.

he said no photos because wants to remain anonymus and not be tracable when child turns 18. this has really disappointed me cause i want for any child to have options and know where they are from. i don't want to co-parent but just have a photo to show the child so they know where they've come from.

so frustrated!

 

[EpdTTC]

Good luck this cycle Topaz! Hope this is it for you.

Interesting story Rosie and Daisy-hope there is not some creeper out there...

How are you holding up Luna? Thinking of you.

 

[EpdTTC]

Rosie-I know it is frustrating because you want to get started but if he is not want you want or something doesn't feel quite right then I'd say keep looking! This is your child, you should feel good about things and be comfortable.

 

[LunaBean]

Rosie, I know what you mean, Id love to have a pic to show the baby when it's older..we've been to his house a few times for donations, and there's pictures of his grandson on his mantlepiece, and Ive been wondering if its morally wrong to take a pic of him on my camera while the donor is in 'doing his business', just to have for years to come, so our child has a picture of a family member, since it would be his/her cousin. Would it be wrong of me? I already have a pic on my phone of the donor, which I can print out and keep.

 

[DaisyDoodles]

Rosie, if you're not happy with what the donor can offer, don't settle for second best, we very nearly did and I think I would have regretted it in the long run!

PM some of the guys over on the forum, there are many that offer AI with contact on reasonable terms, the first guy we approached accepted and we were stunned... we weren't expecting it to be that easy, when we decided he wasn't quite what we wanted and approached somebody else, we were equally suprised to find that he too accepted us straight away and yet we'd had an ads up with no replies at all!!

I'm sure our donor would be happy to help you as well, his contact terms are pretty flexible and he's a lovely guy!

 

[Nimyra]

Daisy, you make a really good point. I did put an ad up but I also searched my listserve for anyone who was in nearby states who did AI and sent them all introductory emails. The donor I ended up using was one of the ones I contacted first. I think a lot of recipients just wait for people to reply to their ads, and then you only get a small subset of the potential donors out there.

 

[babymakestwo]

Hi ladies - may I join you?

I'm 25 and single, looking to TTC using a donor at the beginning of next year. Have just had enough of cr*ppy men and I've wanted to be a mummy for so long!

I've learnt so much from reading this thread, I feel like I 'know' some of you already!

So here's what I have so far: very little. I sort of started to chart earlier in the month - waiting for the to visit again so i know how long my cycle is.

I need to find a donor! I have found one who sounds good on Pride Angel - has anyone else used this? Just need to contact him.

Where exactly did people post on vivastreet, that sounds like a simple way to start things off. I'm hoping to find someone who will not be financially responsible and have no contact except maybe an email twice a year or something.

What sort of questions should I be asking a potential donor? Anything else I need to know or do at this stage?

Thanks for any answers and I'll check back in soon!

 

[topazicatzbet]

hey welcome to the gang, your in the same boat as me, i got fed up of waiting for mr right so went it alond. best decison i made, i now have callum and ttc another with the same donor.

i used www.sperm-donors-worldwide.com to find my donor.

you def need to get someone you feel comfortable with make sure you discuss what contact you want.

id also ask about and family illnesses etc.

be prepared to search through the offers, some are just trying to get their leg over by saying they prefer 'natural conception'

good luck

 

[Nimyra]

Welcome, babymakestwo!

Ask about whatever is important to you.

Some things I asked:
- for copies of recent STD test results (be willing to pay for these if the donor doesn't have them already)
- for a photo
- I wanted to meet in person prior to inseminating to make sure I still felt good about the donor
- Why does the donor donate
- Interests/hobbies/personality
- Family history of mental and physical illness
- Willingness to be available during insemination times
- any high risk behavior (unprotected sex with strangers, etc) that might put me at risk
- what sort of contact would they want with my child
- how many other offspring they have.

That may seem like a lot of questions - I didn't spring them all on the donor in the first email. I did meet with the donor and had a long conversation prior to inseminating.

Good luck! Ask us anything!

 

[LunaBean]

Was just wondering girls, if any of you get cramps after inseminating, cus I usually do, but this time its VERY painful, almost as bad as AF pains! Been like this from about 30 mins after I inseminated this afternoon, at 2.30pm..and its now 9.30pm and it's still quite bad!

 

[topazicatzbet]

no i dont get cramps, but i do get strong ov pains that can last a while

 

[LunaBean]

I always get cramps, its so annoying! I think some girls do cus they're not used to the spermies!!

 

[kns]

hi we conceived with at home insemination by a private sperm donor as we are a gay couple, this was first time and noe expection yay!

 

[DaisyDoodles]

Welcome babymakestwo and congratulations kns!

We've had our first donation today, everything seems to have gone well, but I'm already impatient for the 2ww to be over! Lol

 

[LunaBean]

Lol..Im the same..I'm only 2dpo and impatient already! Ohh hopefully we can be bump buds!! When are you testing?

 

[topazicatzbet]

goodluck lunabean, good to see your back in the saddle