Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm...?

I'm sorry Ruby :( Hopefully next cycle will be your cycle!!

Our donor is coming over tomorrow... he couldn't make it today. I'm cramping up a storm which is normal before I O and loads of ewcm... Fingers crossed :D
 
Oh no! Sorry Rubby :hugs: Hopefully next month will be your month. Next month will be our very first try, fingers crossed! Here's to BFPs for both of us before the end of the year! :cloud9:
 
My OH just called, AF arrived :CRY: . it's so frustrating sometimes. We try once more before our donor leaves to Mexico for 3 months. He's great, he's willing to donate as much as needed up to the date he leaves which is the end of this month. Which upsets me more becuase this :witch: arrived so late!! which cuts our trying time. I'm so just so upset right now. I know my wifey is even more, can't wait to get home and cuddle with her and be there for her.
 
oh no, the wicked :witch: playing tricks with you.

next month is gonna bring another bumper crop of bfps
 
So sorry about the witch Lyvian, she's a pain in the ass!! Hope next month brings you a shiny BFP :hugs: xx
 
Tegans mama. My wife and i are trying this month. We have our friend who is the donor i would love to talk to you about it more. I am very open to anything that will give my wife and i the gift of a child. We have been together for 9 years and just married. This is something we have wanted for a long time and i would go to a clinic however we do not have health insurance We both do hair for a living and we work from the side of our house i turned into our salon.
 
Welcome Tenleys306 :)

Ask away any questions you have - we're a friendly and knowledgable bunch here (not including myself in the knowledgable bit haha!)

xx
 
Hiya Tensleys306! Any questions you have, feel free to fire away on here because I'd say with the bunch of us, we've experienced almost everything you could!
 
I'm sorry Ruby and Lyvian...I was so hoping you guys would both get your BFP's this month. :friends:

I just got the results of my first blood test...good news thank God! My HCG went from 800 on Monday to 2200 today - almost triple! What a relief! We have our first appointment for an ultrasound on December 6th. I will be 8 weeks then and it will be the first time we get to see our baby and hear the heartbeat! :cloud9: But her next question was do we want to do a First Trimester Screen and I wasn't sure what to say. She explained that they advise all mom's 35 and over to have it done to rule out certain birth defects. I am getting ready to turn 35 next week.

Obviously I'll have to discuss it with my OH. On the one hand I think, let's not, because I wouldn't make any choice other than to have the baby so what's the point?? At the same time, since it is just a blood test and not a risk to the baby I think maybe we should so we can at least be prepared if there is a risk. Ladies, what wisdom do you have to share on this?

I was looking at information about the various tests they run in each trimester and it made me sick to my stomach. I want to enjoy each day of this pregnancy...not spend it chronically worrying! I feel like I didn't get much of a chance to enjoy my good news today because there is something new just ahead to worry about. Maybe it would be best to not have any of the tests and just trust that my body and my baby know what to do.
 
mommies1and2... I have a slightly different opinion on this, because my daughter actually HAS spina bifida, one of the things the triple screen looks for.
I didn't have the test with her, and I most certainly won't with our next child, because I actually MEAN that having a baby with a medical condition really won't change my mind. (I'm not saying you don't, but it's different for me because I've done it if you get that?) I thanked whoever is in the sky every day since I found out about Tegan's SB that I did not have that test. I'm glad I found out, of course I am, but I spent the final 23 weeks of my pregnancy worrying about what would happen when she was born. (we found at a routine scan at 17 weeks). I'm glad I didn't have the test, after which they would have said to me "Your AFP levels are raised, this means your baby MAY have spina bifida.." and then I would've faced a wait of 4+ weeks. With Tegan, they told me at the scan, "Your baby HAS SB, this is what that means.." If that makes sense? I would much, much rather be hit in the face with a definite diagnosis than a maybe.

Tegan is the best thing to ever happen to me, the most amazing little princess I have ever, and will ever meet. It's a decision you have to make yourself, but if you truly believe the results won't change your mind, I would say no, don't have it, because it just adds unnecessary worry to an already worrisome time. :hugs:

ETA - I was 19 when I was pregnant with Tegan, so age isn't always a factor when it comes to birth defects x
 
i didnt have the tests with callum and wont be having them this time, i wouldnt do anything about the results so like tegans mum says why have the worry.
 
Ditto here, we declined the tests for the same reasons. We would continue with the pregnancy regardless, and knowing that our child might have a condition would just worry us. I have a friend who had the tests and the results came back as high risk of several conditions (1 in 8 for some, 1 in 12 for others). She continued with the pregnancy but worried continuously, especially as one of the conditions is not compatible with life outside the womb so she lived with the very real possibility that her child might die soon after birth. He is a completely healthy four year old now, but she never got to enjoy her pregnancy because of this horrible 'maybe'.

That's just our slant on it. :) And welcome to one of your first difficult parenting decisions. Life is going to be full of them from now on. :)

Gina. x
 
Sorry for the AFs girls :(

Topaz I love ur tests!!!!

Nothing new here...really tired and crampy just!! Had bloods done today, but wont get the results til Monday,which is ridiculous. More on Friday. Im so impatient!!!!

I don't think I'll have any tests done either
 
Welcome Tenleys306 :)

Ask away any questions you have - we're a friendly and knowledgable bunch here (not including myself in the knowledgable bit haha!)

xx
** We have a donor i am using the clear blue easy monitor i wanted to see when i should ask for a donation from our friend who is helping us and how many times i should ask for one.. Like i said i am so new to this and wanted to see what our chances are with doing the home insemination.
 
Hiya Tensleys306! Any questions you have, feel free to fire away on here because I'd say with the bunch of us, we've experienced almost everything you could!

** We have a donor i am using the clear blue easy monitor i wanted to see when i should ask for a donation from our friend who is helping us and how many times i should ask for one.. Like i said i am so new to this and wanted to see what our chances are with doing the home insemination.
 
Good luck tomorrow night, Lea -- your timing sounds perfect! :thumbup:

So sorry Lyvian... such a blow! I really thought it sounded promising for you guys! :hug:

Hi Tenley! :wave: I also live in PA!

Mommies1&2 -- The quad screen. Just remembering it has made me teary-eyed & emotional. I had the test done. To begin with, I am a very anxious, worry-wart kind of person. I have lots of anxiety. I worry about everything. (Example... my parents took me & Jayden out to dinner tonight & the whole time i felt nervous/anxious/panicky bc i always worry he is going to choke. I cut everything into much smaller pieces AFTER my mom already cut his food..... and got mad when my dad suggested giving him a mozzerella stick, my mom didn't cut up his jello, the chicken nuggets seemed too chewy for him, etc.... The list goes on. I worry... alot. About everything.) Well, i thought getting the test would put my mind at ease so i didn't have to worry thru-out the entire pregnancy. I was already upset & nervous bc i had lost Jayden's twin between 6 - 8 weeks. Well guess what?? The results came back saying he had a 1:17 chance of having down syndrome!!!!! It really effected the entire rest of my pregnancy. I, unfortunately, can't say i enjoyed being pregnant. I was so upset about this high chance of him having DS... researched it online all the time... which of course leads to all sorts of worse case scenerios! The only way to know for sure if he had DS was to get an amnio done... which i refused... bc of the risk of m/c. Plus, i loved him & wanted him no matter what... so knowing wouldn't have changed anything. So...... i didn't know until after he was born if he had DS or not. And he does not. There is a high rate of false positives with those tests. I spent all those months worrying about something i had no control over anyway... & it turned out to be needless worry. I wish i had just relaxed & enjoyed my pregnancy more. Sorry if i rambled... hope that made some sense!
 
Good luck tomorrow night, Lea -- your timing sounds perfect! :thumbup:

So sorry Lyvian... such a blow! I really thought it sounded promising for you guys! :hug:

Hi Tenley! :wave: I also live in PA!

Mommies1&2 -- The quad screen. Just remembering it has made me teary-eyed & emotional. I had the test done. To begin with, I am a very anxious, worry-wart kind of person. I have lots of anxiety. I worry about everything. (Example... my parents took me & Jayden out to dinner tonight & the whole time i felt nervous/anxious/panicky bc i always worry he is going to choke. I cut everything into much smaller pieces AFTER my mom already cut his food..... and got mad when my dad suggested giving him a mozzerella stick, my mom didn't cut up his jello, the chicken nuggets seemed too chewy for him, etc.... The list goes on. I worry... alot. About everything.) Well, i thought getting the test would put my mind at ease so i didn't have to worry thru-out the entire pregnancy. I was already upset & nervous bc i had lost Jayden's twin between 6 - 8 weeks. Well guess what?? The results came back saying he had a 1:17 chance of having down syndrome!!!!! It really effected the entire rest of my pregnancy. I, unfortunately, can't say i enjoyed being pregnant. I was so upset about this high chance of him having DS... researched it online all the time... which of course leads to all sorts of worse case scenerios! The only way to know for sure if he had DS was to get an amnio done... which i refused... bc of the risk of m/c. Plus, i loved him & wanted him no matter what... so knowing wouldn't have changed anything. So...... i didn't know until after he was born if he had DS or not. And he does not. There is a high rate of false positives with those tests. I spent all those months worrying about something i had no control over anyway... & it turned out to be needless worry. I wish i had just relaxed & enjoyed my pregnancy more. Sorry if i rambled... hope that made some sense!

** Thats cool we dont like living here in pa lol we only do because both of our families live here. :thumbup: have you done the at home insemination.
 
I'm so sorry Lyvian and Ruby. It sounded so promising for both of you. I know you both must be disappointed. :( Here's to hoping that next month is your month!

How timely that this topic has come up about the first trimester screenings. I have yet another perspective to share on this. Like Ruby, I am a horrible worrier and tend to have anxiety. I had the Nuchal Translucency Screen and Quad screen at 12 weeks. I just turned 35 last month. I guess I had it done because I figured if my risks looked pretty low I would not consider any further testing. If they just based my risk on my age alone without doing any of the tests I think it would be like 1/300 that I would have a baby with Downs. After the Quad screen my risk came back as 1/5661. For me it was a relief.

Now with that being said, let me tell you about my scan today. I am measuring at 22 weeks and baby is a girl! Everything looked great-her brain looked good, spine looked good, arms and legs measuring like they should, saw little fingers and toes, the chambers of her heart looked good and were pumping like they should be etc. When the doc came in after the sonographer, he finished up the scan (they were having trouble getting baby to uncross her legs so he was going to give it a go). He went through and showed me her brain and explained that things looked good, her spine, stomach etc. But then he stopped at her heart and said "see that little white dot, that's a calcium deposit, it's nothing to worry about, it's not a hole, it's not a defect, it won't need repaired, it won't affect anything, but it can be a "soft marker" for Downs". My heart sank. He said the sonographer said she saw a little excess fluid on the kidneys and that this can be a soft marker too but that when he looked he did not see the excess fluid and said the baby probably just had to pee and did. So even though the kidney thing is supposedly no longer a concern, just the mere mention of a possible second soft marker added to my horrible anxiety. I couldn't think about anything else. It was as if all of the wonderful things I had just seen and learned about my baby girl were overshadowed by this new fear that my baby's risk of Downs could now be a concern. I felt the blood drain from my body. It was like the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. I asked some questions, the answers helped a little. My doc also went on to explain it like this: The speck on the heart is seen in about 10 out of 200 babies who are perfectly healthy and who do not have Downs and if you took 200 babies that did have Downs, 11 of them would have the spot-so the difference is very minute and this is seen in babies without Downs at almost the same rate that it is seen in babies with Downs. In some ways that explanation helped and in some ways, once that inkling of a possibility was there, it was hard to hear anything else after that.

I put in a call to my Dr. this afternoon after I came home and had time to process this and think of some questions I wanted to ask him. He had just rushed out for a delivery so the receptionist said she would leave him a message and he would call me tonight after he was done with everything. He called me a few hours ago. He was so wonderful-so kind, so patient, and very thorough in answering my questions. He said that because I had the NT and Quad screen tests done and they showed my risk to be so low that really, the spot on the heart was more of a normal variant for me than a "soft marker". He also said that since the kidneys went down so quickly that he doesn't think that is a soft marker for me either. He said sometimes when the baby's bladder is full it can back up into the kidneys and that since they went down that baby probably just peed. He said that if it was truly excess fluid in the kidneys that it probably wouldn't have gone down like that. He said he hates to even mention things like this and really only did it because he has to for liability reasons. He also said that with the advances in ultrasound technology that we see more of these things than we used to. He said he has had to ruin many women's pregnancies and he hates that. I also asked him how often he sees these two things (the calcium deposit on the heart and the excess fluid in the kidneys) and he said "almost on a daily basis". That really helped to hear. When I asked him how many of those turn out to be Downs he said that "about 7 babies are born in Akron, OH (Akron is the city he works in) every year that have Downs and that is out of about 7000 babies born in Akron each year". Considering that he sees it on almost a daily basis and only 7 babies turn out to have Downs (and that's in the whole city, not just babies he delivers), I'd say that way more often than not it does not indicate Downs. So, although this is all still in the back of my mind, I am feeling better about it tonight after talking to him more about it. If I had not had the first trimester screenings and we did not have that information about my risks, he said he would be more concerned. That info combined with the ultrasound findings now makes my risk for Downs 1/5000 instead of the 1/5661, not that huge of a difference. In that respect, I am glad that I had the screenings because in my case having that information has reduced my worry and my doctor's concern about the ultrasound findings.

I asked my doc if he thought I should have an amnio and he asked if it would change anything. I told him no, that I already love my baby and it would not change my decision about anything. He said then he would not suggest it since the risk of preterm labor is about 1/300 (much higher than my Downs risk). He did say that if my worry gets the best of me that we could do an amnio at 32 weeks because at that point if the amnio caused preterm labor that the chances of a baby surviving at 32 weeks are almost as high as those of a 40 week baby. I will give it some thought, but will likely not have the amnio. The only reason I would is to know for sure before the birth so I am not so anxious during labor and delivery worrying about whether my baby will be born with Downs. It wouldn't change anything else, it would just give me an answer sooner.

So-there is my VERY LONG story. I'm so sorry it is so long but it kind of had to be to explain everything. Ruby-it is very encouraging for me to hear your story and know that everything turned out ok even given the results of your screening. You must have been so anxious during the birth (given that you have anxiety like I do). I'm so glad that Jayden is ok, I hope the same is true for my baby girl. But if by chance she has Downs, I will love her all the same and make sure she has every opportunity in life to be happy and successful.
 

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