considering changing son's name - pls read before poll

[ZooMa]

If you can help me sort through my dilemma of whether to change my 2-month-old son's name, I'd appreciate it. Feel free to leave comments regarding his current name (Everett), the names in the poll, or suggest new ones. Also give me tips on how to love what he already has, or when to know that it's not working. Thanks!

About my predicament: We hadn't talked about names by the time my son came a couple weeks before his due date. We left the hospital with his name - Everett. I really thought I'd like it... it seems perfect on paper but is not working for me in reality. The way people pronounce it sometimes is grating to my ears. It's subtle, but it's sometimes Ev-er-ritt or Ev-ret or Evert Even my preferred Ev-er-rhett is sounding off. My sentiment towards the name only grows more negative as the weeks pass. I don't know what to do. Everyone else seems to like it, and has "gotten used to it" by now -- but my son still seems nameless to me and it's really tearing me apart. My husband is annoyed/hurt/tired of the name debate. He thinks our son is named but I don't want to cringe every time I say it.

In the poll are some other names I like. I'm torn between trying to accept the popularity of some preferred names (particularly, Alex (1/100 boys in 2014)) and trying to love something as much that will be less common. Please vote for ones you think I should consider. I'm in the U.S.

 

[stiletto_mom]

I think Everett is a charming name.

For the poll, I voted for my favourite names, but no necessarily what may suit your son. Have you considered a nn? Maybe Rhett for short?

In the poll, I voted for Alexander, Frederick, Lucien and Thomas.

 

[mummyruston]

I like it and voted Alexander, Elliott and Everett.

 

[staralfur]

I pronounce Everett as Ev-er-itt, giving it the "rhett" sound at the end is terribly awkward for me to say, so I think that's an issue you're likely to run into frequently.

I like Charles (nn Charlie), Elliott, and Franklin.

 

[emyandpotato]

I don't like Everett and voted for Alexander, Benjamin, Charles and August.

 

[ellahopesky]

i voted for alexander - if you love it that much, use it!!!! x

 

[alibaba24]

I don't like Everett at all sorry my vote was for Alexander I like Elliot too.

 

[Arohanui]

I really like Everett (but would naturally pronounce it Ev-er-it). When I read the OP my first thought was call him a nickname, like Rhett (which is also a name I love) which has been suggested by another poster below. This nickname may help others to pronounce the ending of Everett how you would prefer them to with the Rhett sound. Also, don't be afraid to tell people if they are pronouncing it differently to what you have named him. I have a friend who named her daughter Amelie, which we all pronounced Am-eh-lee but she made a point of telling us it should be pronounced the French way Ah-may-lay so we all say it how my friend prefers, and it wasn't a big deal.

I really don't think you should change your sons name - it's a great name! And if your partner likes it, I think it would be pretty difficult for him to get over you changing it without his consent.

 

[daneuse27]

I like the name you picked, and I actually prefer it to all the names on the list.

Most of the other names bother me because of association, but it doesn't make them bad names. I just think Everett sounds fresh, new, interesting and boyish all at once. I wouldn't change it personally.

You know best though. Do what you think is best.

 

[ZooMa]

Thanks for your opinions, ladies. I had yet another conversation with my husband last night, but I'm feeling a bit better after this one, for whatever reason. I realized he doesn't care _as much_ as I do about this. He thinks Everett is fine, but if I'm embarrassed every time I say it, then he's more than willing to consider other options. He just doesn't put as much thought into it as I do, which is part of the problem -- I'm thinking too much, and anticipating that he will do the same, so I feel a burning need to find the "perfect" name. However, as my husband pointed out, as the kid grows up he will take "ownership" of the name, and there's really no *bad* choice.

That being said, I still couldn't convince my husband to consider Rhys (a top favorite - he says nobody in the US will know how to pronounce it) -- though it's a favorite of mine, I didn't even put it on the poll because his veto is that adamant. I've been becoming more attached to August, but he's not too keen because it feels feminine to him because of the month names (April, May, June, etc). He also feels like August is "trying to hard." I feel the same way about Everett at times.

Anyway, the end result of the conversation is that we needed to narrow down the list drastically, and just make up our minds already. He's willing to give Nathaniel consideration, as it would be an honor name for his best friend from growing up. So, now it's only between Nathaniel and Everett. Both those names are "good enough"- we need to decide which one suits Baby Boy and we can live with. I'll also try out the nn's Rhett (not my fave), Ev (which he'll probably pick up somewhere down the line, but I really don't like), and maybe something else that comes from it. Nate is the obvious and liked nn for Nathaniel.

Variations of Nathaniel (especially Nathan) are still quite popular, though not as much as Alex - about 1 /150 boys. I don't think all of them will go by Nate, though, so popularity is slightly less of an issue. Also, Nathaniel/Nate has not crossed the line to unisex territory yet, which is great.

I still love most all the other names up there. It's just hard to let go. I'm not sure I want 12 kids just so I can use all the names, though!

I know I'm rambling... I just need to type this all out to get the thoughts straight in my head. Thanks for listening!

 

[alibaba24]

I think your stressing yourself out much thinking of nicknames statistics etc. Not everyone needs a nickname and often people get nicknames completely unrelated to their name. Second of all those popularity polls change all the time . when I picked both my girls names they weren't even inthet top 100. They are now though ! Search your heart for the name you love and go with it. Your not going to bump into all those people from the name poles anyway

 

[jessiebella86]

I really like Alexander but otherwise I think Everett is one of the better names on your list. I really dislike August sorry - Everett is much nicer xx

 

[hanni]

Agree wig the PP, you're totally over thinking all of this. If you like a name, go for it. So what if it's popular? I was 1 of 3 Hannahs on my table in school and 1 of aboout 10 in my year group. I couldn't have cared less. It hasn't affected me at all.

I do understand how you feel though, I'm not overly fond of my sons name. I didn't like any boys names though so I just let my OH pick. I paticularly hate the "dom" sound and I tell people off when/if they call him Dom.
I can honestly say 17 weeks on and the name has grown to fit him. He makes me like the name. I don't even think of it being just a name anymore, it's just him.
I totally can't explain it. It's like I don't actually like the name, but because it's his and I love him so much I've grown to love it being his.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Zachary

 

[ZooMa]

Thanks, Hanni. That's how I feel. I know I'm totally overthinking this. I am falling more in love with my son every day and am hoping that soon I'll love his name as well... because it will be *his* name. Patience, Zooma, patience.

 

[george83]

I agree with pp that now you've started to question the name your possibly over thinking everything to do with it. I have 3 boys and have chosen their names myself (oh wasn't overly interested) and can honestly say I've questioned my choice each time over the first few months. I find saying the name so often makes them sound strange and more like noises than names. My youngest was also born 4 weeks early and although I had my heart set on his name from early on we didn't get a chance before his birth to have that final chat and agree on it so that's the one name I'm even more unsure of now x x

 

[Caitie44]

If you really don't like the name Everett, change it. I 'settled' for my DD's name, as OH was really pushing it, and I regret it. I do think the name fits her personality, and it's definitely grown on me, but I really wish I would have put my foot down from the get go.

I really like the name Nathaniel, btw.

 

[love.peace]

If you're not so sure now I would definitely change it as you could really dislike it later on. Our daughter had a few names during the first few months and I'm so pleased we went with something different even though it annoyed family members having to get used to something else x

 

[EmmySocks]

I like Everett, but i can see it's worrying you! Does he have a middle name? Lots of people here use their middle name as their preferred name and just use their proper name for official stuff. I have a friend who has always been known as Jane, but Jane is her middle name and officially she's Elizabeth. My dad does the same but apparently his mum intentionally named him Alfred John Surname to be the same as his uncle but has always been known as 'John'

It's a good way of keeping Everett because i'm sure you liked it originally (and i love it) and it'll give him the option of which name he wants when he's old enough to choose. But i really think as children grow they develop ownership of their names whatever you called them. And the people who matter will learn how to pronounce it properly

 

[LeahLou]

I'm not the biggest fan of my DD's name, Emilia. I liked it on paper and that my whole family loved it, but I really wanted something more natural like Willow or River. I still am sad about it, but it does fit her and I wouldn't change it.

Do you like his middle name? What if you called him by that?