Considering/Decided on Donor Egg IVF??

[Vonn]

Hi, ladies!

DH and I are seriously considering going for donor egg IVF rather than IVF with my crappy eggs. It's been a process of acceptance for me and I wonder if there are others of you grappling (or not) with this decision? Please share your process, experience, and emotions!

 

[Coolstar]

I still remember the day my IVF failed and I was told DE is the best option for me. I never thought at the age of 31/32 my eggs would be so crappy. I cried since it was so difficult for me to let go of my genetic line. But then I thought what I really wanted in my life ....... and it was to hold my baby. We decided to go ahead with donor egg. I got my first BFP with Donor Egg and my DH's sperm after 3+yrs of ttc. I am 33 weeks pregnant now and I can tell you it is one of the best decision we have taken. When my baby kicks me its an amazing feeling. He is nothing but mine. I have seen him grow from a sac to a fetus to a baby and I tell you it has been such a wonderful journey till now. I am just waiting to hold him in my arms now.
There is a thread Inconceivable and Beyond in BnB where there are many ladies who are mum or pregnant or trying to get pregnant with DE. All of them are amazing. They did help me a lot when I was going through my DE IVF.

 

[Vonn]

Coolstar--congratulations on your pregnancy!!! You are almost there, you must be so excited. After such a long process and being so young, you deserve to treasure this experience! Since you said "him" I trust you know it's a boy. How sweet. Are you sharing his name (if it's been chosen)?

Thanks for sharing your story with me. I have heard from pussycat that the Inconceivable and Beyond thread is filled with ladies who have had donor egg babies. I should hop on and read it through! I've glanced at it.

Nearly everything I hear/read is that once pregnant, the issue of donor eggs becomes no big deal. I really think that will be the case for me. It just gets hard all over again when I think about ending my genetic line. Not that we are genetically super-fabulous or anything, it's just personal, you know? And the other thing I struggle with is that my child may have trouble having a separate dna mom from birth mom & may feel badly/incomplete and needs to know that person. I'm afraid I will feel really guilty, like I made my child's life harder than if it would have been born from my eggs. It seems different with adoption since the adoptive parents are not the ones creating stress for the child regarding knowing birth/dna parents. There's just a lot to accept and come to terms with. And I tend to overanalayze, so that's gone into overdrive at this point.

 

[Disneyfan88]

My RE posted a link to an article about a study showing that mothers who use donor eggs do pass on some genetic DNA to the children they carry just last month. I can't locate the exact article that she posted, but these articles reference the same study.

https://www.medicaldaily.com/infert...rnas-get-passed-her-egg-donation-child-355788

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/...mothers-use-donor-eggs-pass-DNA-children.html

It's definitely a personal decision. Best of luck with whatever you decide.

 

[Vonn]

Thank you for sharing these articles, Disneyfan88! I am looking for research of any kind about donor egg ivf. I appreciate you taking the time share these with me!

 

[Coolstar]

Vonn I know its such a personal choice , deciding to go ahead with donor or adoption. I am keeping my fingers Xed for you whatever you decide. We are still yet to finalize a name .
Disney, even I had read about something called epigenetics.
Vonn , you can have a look at this article :

https://www.yourivfjourney.com/epigenetics-can-ivf-affect-your-babys-genes/

 

[hellodarling]

Vonn,

I totally understand! I've been reading about it a lot too. I have ovarian failure, docs say even if my eggs fertilize they won't do more than an 8 cell split then die... crappy! I've been looking online about DE for the past month or so.

I understand the genetic aspect of it. I think with all the blood we pump through it, there's a definite genetic gain plus, you're growing human, and that is a bond that can't be broken...ever.

But, the cost...holy dollar signs batman.

 

[Pauls_angel]

Hi ladies - just thought I'd post about another option that you might like to consider - much lower in cost. I know it's not for everyone but my hubby and I used a donor embryo (left over from someone else's IVF journey). There are hundreds of thousands of little left over embies in storage just waiting for a chance at life. When we couldn't conceive on our own (hubby is sadly sterile) we opted to give an embie a chance rather than create more embryos with donor sperm. I understand that some couples (many couples even) would rather a definite genetic link to at least one parent - however for us we figured if our Bub wasn't genetically both of ours that we'd rather it be genetically neither of ours and so chose this option. Happy to answer any questions if anyone is keen to find out more.

Good luck to everyone - I hope you get your bubbas soon whatever path you take xx

 

[hellodarling]

I didn't consider that