Coping with depression and hormones after loss

[Cornfieldland]

I had a MMC January 26th. It's been 3 1/2 months and I'm still suffering dark days where I feel like I can't breath and my grief will swallow me whole. I was hoping I would "get over it" by now, but I'm not. We are trying now which helps a bit, there is hope that things might turn out positive one day. Now, again I'm in the TWW and everyday is slowly going by. I just have so many negative thoughts...that I don't deserve to be a mom, or wife, or have anything good in my life. I know it's not true, but I'm driving myself crazy! I just want to be pregnant and have the pregnancy I dreamed of, but I'm scared it will end in disappointment.
I have 2 beautiful boys, but my husband as none and now he is scared it will end again in heartache. I hate that he feels that way.
I am usually not this down on here... But I had to get it out. I'm also burying my little one today so it's wieghing on my mind. Sorry guys! I know you all understand.
Oh and the icing on the cake is ever since the MC I have had horrible break outs to the point I don't want to leave the house. Hoping and praying they go away soon : ( Dam you hormones!!

 

[Spudtastic]

Hi Corn
I sometimes come in here because I often have dark days too. mine was sparked by yesterday seeing all my pregnant friends who are due soon just talking about pregnancy etc and ignoring me because I'm not pregnant'. If I'm totally honest I've only started to feel better since getting this bfp.
I wish you all the best burying your little one. (I did send you a reply but in a private message not a visitor message as I can't find where to send those).

I have felt those feelings too. I think it's only natural and in no way reflects you as a mum. I am also lucky to have a beautiful daughter but we have also lost a baby too and it is a long grieving process.
Sorry I can't be of any help Other than you havevan online friend here if you need someone to listen.

 

[nickielg]

I know exactly how you feel Corn. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I too am having a dark day. I know you feel with all your fears, I feel the same way too. =(

One of my good friends posted this morning about how she has pregnancy brain, and it just hit me. We were supposed to be pregnant together, I was due 10 days before her.

It's hard some days to keep your head up, but you are strong and you will get through it.

 

[Cornfieldland]

Thanks lady's, yesterday was a hard day. We didn't end up burying my little one either because my husband is sick and stressed about work and can't deal with that. It was bad timing. So we will put it off again. Just been a stressful week.
I have a few friends that gave had babies or are pregnant, sometimes I like seeing their posts and sometimes it's hard. I know things will get easier at some point. I have been through a lot in my life and this is one more thing to go through. But having that pregnancy did bring some happy moments which I'll always hold on to and remember.

 

[AnnieMac2]

I'm so sorry Corn :'( I know the undeserving feeling. I feel worthless and defective more often than I'd like to admit. I have to believe that we will start feeling better. This is such a complicated thing though. I wish I could work my way out of it instead of relying on feeling better once I get a bfp, but I don't know what to do. I wish I knew what to say to be helpful to you and everyone on here. But you were strong enough to come this far and I think it will become less overwhelming. xo