Coping with early miscarriage

[hotpinkangel]

Thank you for the title change Palestrina x

 

[Lallie]

Palestrina I believe your intentions are kind and reading your original post I could have been listening to my Mum. She had four healthy babies and lost four to miscarriages so late (5 months) I guess today they would be called premature births. She supported me through the loss of two pregnancies. I was, at first, hurt when she said "nature is kind' but I came to understand what she meant and while of course is it not always a problem with the embryo that leads to a pregnancy loss, she meant it in the most loving way and I was able to accept it in that spirit.

 

[lilly77]

Well said Palestrina.. I was utterly devastated after my MC and ALL I wanted was to be pregnant and still have the little bean there.. but it's so true.. your body will always sort out something that isn't right, that hasn't formed properly, for whatever reason. You can fight against nature but nature will always win. (obviously there are many other reasons for early miscarriage, I am just speaking from my experience) that is what happened with me, as I had a blighted ovum. It's distressing, I can't imagine going through another MC.. and its probably what's making me so paranoid this time around, that I've been through it already.. but you're right! I'm going to enjoy my pregnancy right now, and stop stressing

Thank you xxxx

 

[ClaireyF]

I'm not sure that this post should be in the first tri section, it may be best to be in the loss section?
I agree with what you have said mostly. I feel that my mc was my 'false start' to motherhood but its not always the case for alot of women on BnB who unfortunately have recurrent MC and never get any answers xx

 

[mumoffive]

You see, i dont find it comforting at all that the thought i miscarried was due to abnormalities. You see, for me, that worries me. I think, well if i was capapble of concieving a baby with abnormalities...then how do i know that i may not conceive this baby with abnormalities as many baby's are still conceived with them. Im not offended by the OP though and dont have a problem with the title.

 

[ClaireyF]

Im not offended by the OP though and dont have a problem with the title.

The title has been changed from the original one, if you scroll through the other pages someone has quoted the title again. xx

 

[mumoffive]

Oh...ok thankyou! x

 

[mumoffive]

Oh yes, the original title was very insensitive...but its sorted now. can see how it would def offend. x

 

[lilly77]

Oh yes, the original title was very insensitive...but its sorted now. can see how it would def offend. x

Yes I didn't see the original title either

 

[mommabear1991]

Nice post. I'm going through miscarriage now and I agree, you do kinda have to convince yourself that. You feel so guilty but then you have to try to remind yourself "I did everything in my power for this baby. I took my vitamins, got my blood checked, slept a lot, stayed off my feet, ate a balanced diet, etc." so it's kinda like....if you did all that and STILL had a miscarriage, there probably was something wrong in which the baby literally couldn't finction, so your body rejected it. actually, my aunt kept having miscarriages so the docs put her on steroids. she finally gave birth to a baby, who woulda been a miscarriage. he was very physically deformed and only survived for several months in the NICU at the hospital. So I do agree with you, it's scientifically correct. But I see all these people attacking you, and I'm apologizing for them because you NEVER said it wasn't a painful/sorrowful experience. I'm sure you feel the same sadness all the rest of us on here feel, especially having more than one. I can relate to your sadness, the second is more overwhelming than your first. I feel like your logic is a nice was to take a small chip off the pain, and every little bit helps cuz I'm absolutely devastated. ( lots of love and best of luck to everyone for the future!!

 

[mommabear1991]

Forgot to mention...my aunt carried on after MANY MANY MANY miscarriages to have 3 healthy children. all perfectly normal. come to find out, it was a chromosome disorder. so those miscarriages were for a reason.

 

[melfy77]

First tri is long and worrying, and like it or not, 1 in 4 women will leave this section because of a miscarriage. It's a really harsh and crappy reality. I've had 2 early miscarriages, and I remember feeling angry, sad, jealous and guilty at the same time. I was 26, healthy, no risk factors, didn't drink or smoke, yet I miscarried twice within 3 months. Then I got pregnant with my daughter, and let me tell you, the day I held her for the very first time was the day I was finally done grieving my losses. Now I wouldn't change a thing. She is worth every tear I shed, and now I don't miss those babies anymore, I guess because in a way I see them every time I look at my daughter. We often forget about it, but growing a baby with all the right chromosomes, organs and right genetic components truly is a miracle.

 

[pandi77]

Palestrina you are entitled to talk about what worked for you but yes be prepared for some lashing out. Loss of pregnancy or pregnancy issues are so painful your comments might be taken personally even though you were clear this is just "your' coping mechanism.

There are some women that your M.O. doesn't apply to who have long term fertility issues like myself but I don't judge you and am happy you have found a way to cope. Sometimes I am sure you aren't far off in your thinking. Happy and healthy 9 months and watch out for those flames!

 

[_jellybean_]

Palestrina you are entitled to talk about what worked for you but yes be prepared for some lashing out. Loss of pregnancy or pregnancy issues are so painful your comments might be taken personally even though you were clear this is just "your' coping mechanism.

There are some women that your M.O. doesn't apply to who have long term fertility issues like myself but I don't judge you and am happy you have found a way to cope. Sometimes I am sure you aren't far off in your thinking. Happy and healthy 9 months and watch out for those flames!

The op is from 2010

 

[OmarsMum]

Thread locked, it's very old & might cause confusion