Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by HB, Sep 12, 2006.

  1. HB

    HB Guest

    Hey Girls!
    I know this is another one of them personal questions by me...
    Just wondered after any of your angels got their wings if you went to miscarriage counselling?

    Who arranged it for you?

    Have you arranged anything for yourself?

    I have been struggling to get miscarriage counselling and my doctor seems to have finally got the idea that i can't cope, and i'm struggling to arrange it for myself.
    Am also now considering going to a reiki healer... through advice from a friend... and wondered if anyone has tried alternative healing?

    I put this idea to the doctor and she recommended it too

    Lots of love and hugs for all

  2. Wobbles

    Wobbles BnB Co-Founder ~ Retired

    Aug 31, 2006
    Likes Received:
    In honesty ...

    I have considered it but I have never acted on it.

    Is your quack not arranging this for you?
  3. beatlesbaby66

    beatlesbaby66 Well-Known Member

    Aug 31, 2006
    Likes Received:
    my mum thinks i should be doing something, and my manager cant understand why werent offered anything when it all kicked off for us.
    i think that you need to do whatever feels right for you, if you want to talk to someone or if you want to try faith healing etc go for it. nothing in these circumstances is wrong. I am considering finding someone to talk to.
    it took me a long time to realise this after my dad and it wasnt until i did what i wanted to do and not what others were telling me to do that i started to isnt finished, i still get bad times but i am now able to get on with my life little by little and not feel guilty for doing that...hope this makes sense. i am rambling this week sorry, its dads anniversary so i get all philospohical about life and stuff around this time of year or msm me anytime honey... :blush: :hugs:
  4. HB

    HB Guest

    Awww thanks guys.... love that i can come on here and ramble on for a bit and that you guys will read and advise!

    Fankya all so so much!

    B, when we chat on MSN we both end up having to get tissues! lol!! But thank you, and when we're not in teary moods we'll defo have a d&m! lol!

    Doctor is now gonna chase up the counselling for me, she seemed happy for me to arrange it on my terms, but cos i'm not getting anywhere and its upsetting me she's taking over for me now.

    The reiki is the one that i'm excited about.... think my spirit is hurting from everything in my past and could do with the healing and stuff!!!

    Was thinking that if we (any of us) get info on counselling services or things we recommend trying to help "move forward" with things we could have a thread in here with the info so we can pass on help to each other? Might be a silly idea, thought i'd put it out there though!

    ****hugs**** for everyone

  5. CuteKitty

    CuteKitty Well-Known Member

    Sep 15, 2006
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    Hiya, i had a little boy who was born sleeping the 3rd January 2004, my husband took it really bad and we had a little boy who was almost 3 so as usualy for me i went on auto pilot and looked after my husband and son.... i went back to work a week later as i felt i was ok ..... i was offered councelling but felt i didnt need it so declined it.

    My mum asked me if i cry for Sam and i would always answer yes but i didnt... the only times i really cried was when we found out he had gone to heaven, when i gave birth to him and seeing him afterwards and at his funeral. I got on with my life .... i did loads for Sam, i always made sure his grave was perfect, buy him things etc and generally got on with life.

    After a while i started to get angry with myself as i didnt get upset.... always though why do i not cry for my boy. Even on the day he was born i would go to the cemetery and wouldnt cry!... my friends say i talk about Sam like it was 20 years ago now2 and half!

    Im an emotional person but emotional for everything but Sam.... i cry at stupid little things, at tv/films/songs..... i can cry for no reason. So i asked my health visitor if i could be depressed but not actually feel depressed. I explained about my crying and how i dont feel any emotions for Sam and she said its like ive locked all my grief and feelings away and there so far hidden that they need unlocking.......... she referred me to a bereavement councellor who i saw on the 4th Sept.....

    She said theres 6 stages of grief and everyone must go through each stage and come out the other end, she said it sounds like im stuck at the begining of the cycle and she would help me to grieve properly. She told me grief is different to depression, she had lost 2 babies at about 20 weeks so understood partly how i felt, she locked her feelings away after her 2nd loss so could understand my feelings!

    Ive gotta go again on the 4th Oct ..... when talking to her she said i never spoke about my feelings and now have to write about my pregnancy, labour and afterwards with Sam and every 5 lines right my feelings of how i felt at the time though the pregnancy etc. I have already wrote my pregnancy and birth story for Sam but i have to do it again but handwrite it and go into even more detail.

    So we shall see what happens after the next session... ive been told to expect a rollarcoaster of emotions and know that ive got some really hard times to come but im ready for it and need to get my feelings out!
  6. ImTheDaddy

    ImTheDaddy Well-Known Member

    Sep 6, 2006
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    To be honest the NHS is not good in terms of mental health issues. (Sorry don't mean you're all nuts, Just the Wobster!!)

    I am sure there are lots of charities which may help you if you decide you want to get couselling. I don't know if there are any dedicated to MC or Born sleeping, but there are lots which do bereivement counselling.

    One very good one (Lots of people recommended it to us when we had a family loss) is CRUSE, they aren't everywhere but here's a link, they will recommend other similar groups in your area if they can't help.

    You can call them, or e-mail them.

    Hope this helps if you decide to go the counselling route.

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