Cried all day!!

[luvymom]

Can I join you? Today has been rough. My baby turned one and all I've seen on social media are people announcing their babies due in may. I was supposed to be due in may!!!! So I've been all emotional trying to celebrate my baby's birthday but also dealing with the fact that she's growing up so fast and I'm not pregnant anymore.

Sorry for the rant. Good luck to everyone ttc. We are ntnp but feels more on the nt side lately.

 

[JemmaLouise]

Can i join too? Tuesday was meant to be our 12 week scan, the morning was full of joy and excitment and then we got told our little bean had died some weeks earlier... I had no clue :'( since Tuesday I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, my other half seems to act as if nothing is wrong but I think that is for my benefit. I cry literally all the time, but I feel like I can't show him so I am hiding it. I wait until he is asleep and cry myself until I am too exhausted to cry any more. I keep thinking that I've failed, all my job was to do was look after our bean and I couldn't do it. I know these things happen and nothing I did could have been done differently. Just wish I had walked away from that hosp with my baby picture instead of an appointment card for the early pregnancy unit.

 

[bubbles82]

So sorry for all of your losses.

I'm back in this section of the forum for the third time, I just found out this week at a private early scan at 9+1 that my baby's heartbeat has stopped, and I'm booked in at EPU tomorrow. Can't believe I'm here again, thought I'd had enough bad luck with two previous losses. Really mixed emotions at the moment, scared to ever try again and go through this anymore, worried what is wrong with me etc. We had a Christmas Day announcement planned so it feels like an extra hard blow that has been taken away from us and we've still got Christmas to go through pretending everything is ok when we're so heartbroken.

JemmaLouise I can relate to what you've said. I think it's difficult for guys to know what to do really, as they feel like they need to fix it for us but they can't, and they're hurt too they just don't have the physical side of it to deal with like us. Me an DH ended up having an argument already because he was carrying on pretending nothing had even happened and asking me what I was doing the day after I found out, as if I had a fun day out planned when I was stuck at home cancelling my midwife appointment I should've been at, chasing up EPU and wondering if I was going to start bleeding any minute.

 

[JemmaLouise]

Im so so sorry bubbles! First time is sad enough let alone 3, I really hope things get better for you. My partner has 'taken the week off to be with me' yet here I am upstairs watching TV dealing with the emotional and physical pain of miscarriage and he is downstairs playing friggin playstation having a laugh with his mates... Aagghhhhhh!!

 

[bubbles82]

What are they like! Nightmare.

I thought I'd be used to it now after 3 times but it's like it gets harder to deal with each time, as it's more likely to be an actual problem rather than bad luck, and each time I feel more like giving up trying at all. Im also finding it extra tough this time as my two best friends are both pregnant, one is due the same week I was with my loss just before this one. So it's always in my face where I should be, and will always be like that once her baby is born and I know mine should've been the same age, but she'll forget all about that.

I hope things get easier for you soon, I'm scared about all the pain and bleeding to come.