chickyhippy
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- Sep 9, 2011
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I am 32, and have spent 3 years off the pill winging it. And I've had two miscarriages.
My schoool were so hot on teen pregnancies that all the messages we were given was basically "pregnancy is bad". I also helped out the local community with this group when they were investigating teen pregnancies and services for teens in the area, so I knew a lot of what was going on at the time as I used to sit in on teacher meetings and the sex education planning stuff - I was seen as responsible at the time...the emphasis on safe sex was mainly due to the teenage pregnancies in the school and the area, with STDs being chucked in like an after thought.
I appreciate that teen pregnancies can be viewed as a problem, but for me the result is I went most of my adult life thinking "pregnancy is bad" and scared stiff of it. For example, I'm in a 14 year relationship but if i was 18 hours late taking a pill, I'd take 2 more to counteract it, that sort of stupid thing.
Now I am 32, and would welcome a baby, I think a lot of my miscarriage problem is down to the fact I spent 16 years on the pill. I know there's no proof but in my heart I think this is it. My husband is 40 and I know he wanted kids before now, so what if it's too late?
I am feeling so cross at my school for instiling this mental attitude into me, and I am not even sure if they said in the sex education "when a baby is planned or it's in the right cirmunstances for you, it's wonderful, and is the most natural thing you can feel... but..." my memory of it was only ever "don't get pregnant, it's bad" and that's really making me angry.
Here are some facts they never taught at school, things I have learned etc
1) The first time you actually do have sex knowingly wanting a baby is the most intimate kind you'll ever have
2) my (step)sister is 40, has 2 teenage kids and 5 year old twins from IVF. She coulndt have more kids now if she wanted to though. She had my nephew when she was 18 pregnant at 17, and I knew what people thought of her and in fact my mum was judgemental, but she is THE most amazing mother, and in fact is now a foster mum, she's a complete inspiration, and I think she's amazing. If I could be half as good a mother as she is then I'll be happy. Fact is, she's amazing, she's got great kids, and although it's not been easy, she's wonderful and done such wonderful things. Her kids are her friends, and she has a great relationship with them all. They are the most confident and loving little things too as well.
3) When I was pregnant I felt amazing. I didnt know i was pregnant at the time, I only found out when I'd miscarried but I have journals and I'd been saying how centered I felt.
perhaps this will help some of you, perhaps not, but I really do think it's an issue which needs to be looked at. Family planning should be taught as just that, not as just "don't get pregnant or get STDs". They should educate on all aspects, so people can make an informed decision thoughout their lives.
My schoool were so hot on teen pregnancies that all the messages we were given was basically "pregnancy is bad". I also helped out the local community with this group when they were investigating teen pregnancies and services for teens in the area, so I knew a lot of what was going on at the time as I used to sit in on teacher meetings and the sex education planning stuff - I was seen as responsible at the time...the emphasis on safe sex was mainly due to the teenage pregnancies in the school and the area, with STDs being chucked in like an after thought.
I appreciate that teen pregnancies can be viewed as a problem, but for me the result is I went most of my adult life thinking "pregnancy is bad" and scared stiff of it. For example, I'm in a 14 year relationship but if i was 18 hours late taking a pill, I'd take 2 more to counteract it, that sort of stupid thing.
Now I am 32, and would welcome a baby, I think a lot of my miscarriage problem is down to the fact I spent 16 years on the pill. I know there's no proof but in my heart I think this is it. My husband is 40 and I know he wanted kids before now, so what if it's too late?
I am feeling so cross at my school for instiling this mental attitude into me, and I am not even sure if they said in the sex education "when a baby is planned or it's in the right cirmunstances for you, it's wonderful, and is the most natural thing you can feel... but..." my memory of it was only ever "don't get pregnant, it's bad" and that's really making me angry.
Here are some facts they never taught at school, things I have learned etc
1) The first time you actually do have sex knowingly wanting a baby is the most intimate kind you'll ever have
2) my (step)sister is 40, has 2 teenage kids and 5 year old twins from IVF. She coulndt have more kids now if she wanted to though. She had my nephew when she was 18 pregnant at 17, and I knew what people thought of her and in fact my mum was judgemental, but she is THE most amazing mother, and in fact is now a foster mum, she's a complete inspiration, and I think she's amazing. If I could be half as good a mother as she is then I'll be happy. Fact is, she's amazing, she's got great kids, and although it's not been easy, she's wonderful and done such wonderful things. Her kids are her friends, and she has a great relationship with them all. They are the most confident and loving little things too as well.
3) When I was pregnant I felt amazing. I didnt know i was pregnant at the time, I only found out when I'd miscarried but I have journals and I'd been saying how centered I felt.
perhaps this will help some of you, perhaps not, but I really do think it's an issue which needs to be looked at. Family planning should be taught as just that, not as just "don't get pregnant or get STDs". They should educate on all aspects, so people can make an informed decision thoughout their lives.
