Cry it Out - need help!

[Larkspur]

I've not read all the posts and don't have time to so I'm just gonna add this ... I think it's really important that if you're going to do something like this, you should read into the dangers of it and the damage it can do.

Come on, if you have time to post all that, surely you have time to read two pages of posts (a bit ironic, considering your exhortation for people to "inform themselves").

If you had, you'd realize BabyCleo is not doing CIO at all, in fact, I think she is barely even doing CC. It sounds to me (someone who has never done crying-based sleep training) like she has a baby who just needs to blow off a (very) little steam before sleep.

I think there are generally two types of babies. Some will grizzle a little and then quickly drop off to sleep. Others will cry for long periods of time before eventually giving up. Some of the second type will escalate to screaming and throwing up.

The first type of baby can probably be "sleep-trained" quite easily and without harm, because they are well suited to it. The second type is, I think, much harder to sleep train and will probably suffer harm from it (it probably also won't stick, and you will have to retrain multiple times). The screamers probably won't be able to be sleep-trained at all.

Much as I'm sure you're trying to be helpful, I think every baby is different. My babies are both of the type who would not suit sleep training. But I have come to realize that some babies are quite different to mine. Applying a one-size-fits-all philosophy to sleep training and telling anyone who tries it in any form that they are damaging their child is, to say the least, not helpful.

 

[NickyKB]

I totally agree with larkspur I would be cautious about proper sleep training at this age but a bit of grizzling for a couple of minutes is not going to harm OPs baby. And I wouldn't even call what she is doing controlled crying. If this was all it took for harm to occur, no second or subsequent child would ever be unharmed as even though I'm not sleep training DS2 he often has to grizzle by himself for a few minutes whilst I have to finish dealing with DS1.

I have read the articles you posted just for interest and they should be taken for what they are-personal opinion articles not conclusions from detailed review of all available scientific evidence. There are scientific papers on both sides of the sleep training debate but as these are parenting studies there are substantial flaws in either design or conclusion in pretty much all of them (both pro and con). At the end of the day all we can do as parents is do our own research (either reading or just talking to other parents) and then the best we can do is to do what we feel is right for our babies and our family as a whole and as larkspur says what's right for one isn't for another.

Anyway OP hope you're feeling ok I didn't mean to go off on a tangent if you are serious about wanting the thread closed send a message direct to the mods (if you haven't done already) as they may not see you're request within the thread as quickly.

 

[lomelly]

I do the same with my 4 month old. She does not cry hysterically, she just needs like 5 or 10 mins to moan and grizzle a bit before she nods off. She doesn't even cry, and I check on her (without letting her see me because then she would just stare at me and force herself awake). You sound like you're doing great.

 

[BabyCleo]

Thanks ladies

I posted in the testing/requests board about having it closed but its no rush.

I never wanted to start a CIO/CC debate, I just needed advice on my situation. Thank you to the mothers who supported me and backed me up!

Honestly, im really glad I took the route I did. My family seems to be better for it. My LO dosent cry .. like others have said just a small grizzle then shes off. I check on her (very, very quietly lol) every hour (minus nighttime) and she still wakes up a happy baby. My mother used this route with my sister and I (she taught me what im doing, a very gentle CC) and I honestly don't think I have any damaging effects - I doubt my sister does too. We don't even remember. I always knew when I was little that I could go into mums bed if I had a bad dream./etc.

Thanks

 

[calm]

Thread closed at OP's request