CSA DNA test question

[Noix]

Hi ladies.
I need to ask a question because it's confusing me quite alot.
Through circumstances that I'm not proud of in the slightest I'm not entirely sure of who the father of my baby is. It's definitely either my ex fiance or a one night stand though.
A little while ago me and the ex agreed that we'd do a private dna and split the cost 50/50 but about a week ago he completely backed out of doing it and is pretty much denying any responsibility so now I'm a little lost.
I've tried and tried to talk him round and get him to just do what's right for the baby but he seems to be more bothered about his personal grudge against me.
"I'd rather die than give you any satisfaction. You'll get nothing." is just one of the many charming quotes.

I was reading the disputed parentage page on the CSA website last night and I was wondering if I could get him to do a test that way?
I sent him the link as a way of saying "we can do this between ourselves or if it comes to it I'll have to take it to the next level"
But he seemed to think that because I'd admitted to sleeping with two people around the time of conception then it would make the case void.

I think he is the father but I desperately want a dna test because I think that every child deserves to know who their parents are no matter what.
It just makes me so angry that he thinks he can walk away from it.

I was basically just wondering if he's right and if the fact that I admit to not knowing 100% who the father is means that I can't take that route?
I'm just a little worried because I don't think there's any other way I can get him to take a test. =(

 

[billy2mm]

from what i understand (as i said on my reply to your other thread my ex had told me he was going to deny paternity so i researched it) that you call them up after the baby is born and tell them that you think he is the dad but are not 100% sure. they will then dna test him and find out. if he ois the dad, from the day they make contact with him is the day that your maintenence is calculated from so try and make sure ou have as much details about him as possible (NI number, address, phone no, employers name/addy etc...)

if he turns out not tl be the dad then you need to get the other guys details handed over and start the process with him.

does this other guy know about the baby and that he might be the dad? is he willing to take a dna test and that way of your ex is being difficult you can get the other guy to take the test and rule him in/out?

 

[Noix]

Thanks for the reply. =)
I have spoken to the other guy once and told him there is a possibility that he could be a dad and told him that a dna test had been agreed upon.
I also sent him a message when my ex refused to take the dna test anymore just so he was being kept informed and such but he hasn't replied to me.

Is my ex definitely wrong with what he said though? Can I still apply even with the circumstances being as they are?

 

[billy2mm]

Thanks for the reply. =)
I have spoken to the other guy once and told him there is a possibility that he could be a dad and told him that a dna test had been agreed upon.
I also sent him a message when my ex refused to take the dna test anymore just so he was being kept informed and such but he hasn't replied to me.

Is my ex definitely wrong with what he said though? Can I still apply even with the circumstances being as they are?

im pretty sure you can.

i think that you might be able to get both guys tested at the same time too. i would give them a ring and ask for info and see what they say. im sure they can give advice before the baby is born.

 

[Noix]

Okay, thanks.
I'll look into it abit more and probably give them a ring. =)

 

[sweetlullaby]

Im not sure on this but with csa if he isn't the father can they bill you for the dna test? i know that if the father says he isn't and is proved to be the father then he gets the bill or something!

 

[EmyDra]

Heya!

I'm sadly in the same boat, but it looks like my date is three days nearer to one than the other so I'm going to assume the FOB.
I'm still not sure, and it's possible I may still have a DNA test.

If you say who is the father of the baby, they'll basically hound them for money - you'll probably find that after that he will opt for a DNA test (because he will have to pay regardless)

I had a friend who split with her OH when she was pregnant, and (despite the fact she had never cheated on him) he denyed he was the father. So the authorities said "ok, we'll refund your payments once we find out otherwise" and well, he never took the test and kept paying. What a silly billy.

This is such an awkward subject for people not in this posistion, but I had a similar thread a few weeks back and got several PMs from ladies in the same situation.

My potential FOBs are both now ex-boyfriends, both of which I had a two-year relationship with. One, who I was living with has moved out (which I am grateful for) and the other has a gf who's forgiven him, but wants to be involved with the baby - he's coming round to paint the nursery and all! He even talked to my belly last time I saw him (only one who has) and I so want it to be his (I suppose I love him) and thats what the dates point too.

No one gets out of paying maintaince, a court will order a DNA test if it gets that far.

 

[daniellelk]

Im not in the same sitution, but as far as i'm aware with my OH's dealing's with the CSA, like one of the other ladie's say, if you ring up and put a claim in saying that "x" IS the father, he will have to pay for the DNA test, but if he is found NOT to be the dad, the CSA will refund him the money for the DNA test and they will pay for it.
So why not just put a claim in, saying that you believe he is the dad? Any man with half a brain, would opt for the DNA test if he has doubt's on paternity. After all the DNA test is alot cheaper then paying weekly toward's someone for the next 18year's of their life.


Sorry to but in on the single mum's forum :/ Just we have been dealing with the CSA since christmas 08, and my OH had a DNA, even tho he was 90% sure the child was his anyway.

 

[tinkabells]

Also if he refuses to take the DNA test, CSA will assume he is the dad and he will have t pay maintance.

When i had to do a DNA test, mine wasnt sat sit as you, but FOB denied my girl, but he paid for the DNA through the CSA and i will say it was quite quick for taking the test and getting the results, but if his found not to be the dad, csa will refund, but also his fob is on a low imcome and can't afford to pay for the DNA CSA will pay for it and if he is found to be the fob, they will add the costs onto his payments, so in the long run he will be paying for it, hope that helps xxx